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Old 03-08-2007, 09:21 PM   #1
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Default A Letter To My Future Frustrated Self

I wrote this letter a long time ago, when I was "in the zone" and scared of what would happen if I really strayed away from my goals sometime in the future. I haven't really needed to use it, but you never know.

Given some of the posts around here lately, I thought I'd post it again. Yo might want to write a letter to your future, or current, self!!
To My Future Frustrated Self:

Well, hey there future self!!

You did it, didn’t you? You’ve ditched the plan and fallen off the wagon, haven’t you? You’ve maybe gained back some (a lot?!) of the weight you lost, and you’re feeling out of control right now. You can’t help but war with yourself over the food you feel you shouldn’t have and you quit exercising. Or worse, maybe you’ve just given up, again. In fact, I know you pretty well, and I bet you’re feeling kinda sorry for yourself huh? Poor thing…

But I have to tell you that attitude will get you nowhere. QUIT IT!!!!!

You. Can. Do. This!

I want you to think back right now about why you started this whole journey in the first place. Recall, if you will:
• You weighed just under 300 pounds by your scale, and probably over 300 on any other scale. That’s a lot of you!
• You had a bad fall and were in a lot of pain and had trouble moving – do you want that experience before your time because of your weight?
• What about your dad and his diabetes? Your MIL and her back? What about not being able to stand up from the floor with any kind of grace whatsoever because of your weight? What about just feeling like a hippo all the time?
• What about being able to do the things you want to do and buy the clothes you want to buy? At this writing I would still like to learn how to garden but still feel too uncomfortable in my skin.
• And while we’re at it, let’s talk about food. I know you think that those Cheetos and Fritos and especially that Ice Cream and Macaroni and Cheese give you comfort, but they don’t. No one’s saying you can’t have them – you will have to moderate them. And believe me when I tell you that you LOVE fruit! And yummy veggies, and kashi bars!!! You’re not giving up foods you love, you’re finding new food friends. And I bet you miss that feeling of control you had about those trigger foods too. Remember you could walk away from the candy on the secretary’s desk EVERY DAY?
• And exercise! You didn’t always like starting, but you really liked walking to the music, releasing some stress, feeling what you body could do! As of now, I’m still not moving fast, but I bet you got better before you fell off the wagon. And what about being able to ride your bike to work if you get in shape again!
• Oh, and what about how you feel at the end of the day? Are you tired? Taking naps again? Well, do you remember how when you ate better you didn’t get so many low blood sugar dips?? You can be that way again!
• You’ve been in control of your health before and loved it! You can love it again!

Okay, I know, it’s not so easy. The problem is you think it’s all insurmountable. Something little happened, and you got off track, and then something else, and then it snowballed and pretty soon there went all the good habits right out the window. I know all about it, because it’s happened before!

So, how can you get it back? Baby steps! Remember?
• If you’ve stopped journaling your food – get back to it ASAP! Remember how it helped you learn good habits? And quickly! Get back to counting calories and fats and all. It’s easy and you actually liked it!!
• Take back your attitude about food. Keep asking yourself: is this worth it to me in the long run? Sometimes the answer will be yes, but often it will be no, and you’ll feel proud of yourself because of that!
• And get moving again. You may not love it all the time, but it helps you so much!!
• Remember, you don’t have to make changes all at once. Gradually build in more healthy behaviors. But don’t wait for some mythical “better” time in the future. Take control now!
• Finally, go back to reading 3fc! You were inspired by those stories, and talking about your story helped keep you going too! There’s support there for you.

Remember your pledge to yourself: to be healthier at 50 than you were at 39 (or the fast approaching 40). That’s what’s important, not the taste of that food or the TV shows you're probably watching too much of.

And you can do it. I, more than anyone else, know you can!!

Good luck!
Your healthier and thinning past self.

My 5 C's of healthy living: Commitment to conscious control, with the understanding that choices have consequences
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Old 03-08-2007, 09:57 PM   #2
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Okay, this was pure genius! I love it. Wish I could take credit for such a masterpiece! Thanks for posting; it helped me!!
~ Lost 137 #s in 2007, then had tragic year in 2012 & regained it all plus some. Now making my way back down again.~

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Old 03-08-2007, 10:15 PM   #3
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sorry, the first line of the letter had me in stitches! too cute!

Thanks so much for sharing this. I think I'm going to save it and look back on it.. it helps me too!
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Old 03-08-2007, 10:18 PM   #4
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That's great! Smart move! I need something like to motivate me!

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Old 03-08-2007, 11:05 PM   #5
...to everything
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This is SO AWESOME! I'm totally going to do this; thank you for the wonderful idea. In fact, I'm going to do it for my future self if she ever decides to start smoking again, too!

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Old 03-09-2007, 06:52 AM   #6
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Another brilliant post Miss Wyllenn. Really brilliant. I will keep this in mind and borrow the idea one day soon.

When I was feeling out of control the other day, I did so something similiar.I didn't write the letter, but I did some of the things that you mentioned in the letter. I found to get a grasp again that I needed to go back to basics. I posted my day's food in the planning thread, I wrote down every bite that went in my mouth, I thought about every bite that went in my mouth, waited 15 minutes before I gave into eating, drank water when I was urging, I read my journal and all of the reasons that I wanted to lose weight in the first place. It was very helpful to me and I had a great day yesterday.

Thank you Wyllenn.
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Old 03-09-2007, 09:20 AM   #7
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This is great! I think I will try to compose my own letter to myself. Fabulous!
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Old 03-09-2007, 10:57 AM   #8
For a fit, healthy me!
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Talking What a wonderful, smart, witty......

did I mention brilliant idea!!!!!! Thank you so much for posting that! I am going to write mine today!
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Old 03-09-2007, 11:29 AM   #9
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Heather - Thanks for sharing that again. I think we all need reminders every once and awhile about why we are doing this and some pointers to guide us back to the things that work for us. Sometimes it can be so easy to slip back into old patterns, even though the new ones are so much healthier and better for us.

86 pounds down, now for the next bit - fourth short term goal (back to 100 down):
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Old 03-09-2007, 12:32 PM   #10
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Thank you so much for posting that. You're basically my hero. And I am totally writing one today.

Maybe we can all post our letters in this thread for extra mojo when we need it?
Goal Met - 10/28/07 - My Progress Picture Collage - My Goal Story - Where Have I Been?

No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch!

Maintained Oct 2007-Sept 2011, then got pregnant. Our baby boy was born in May, 2012...now to lose the baby weight!!
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Old 03-09-2007, 01:12 PM   #11
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Thanks for posting, Wyllen. Sometimes I feel like I am two different people. One person sets and meets goals, loves exercise, eschews excuses, grabs the world and makes it her own, believes that ALL dreams can be accomplished, takes risks and bounces through life, seeing and owning the best the world has to offer.

And then there is the other me. The down in the dumps, discouraged, pessimistic me, who denies that I posess the power to make my life what I want it to be, the lazy one who makes excuses, eats crap and knows without a doubt that I will fail at whatever I am after. This other one does not recognize the first me. When I think about the goals I HAVE accomplished, it is impossible to realize that is also me. That I ran a half-marathon....not so long ago actually. But that seems like another person.

I can feel my middle thickening from my self-abusive behavior....my pannus that shrunk when I was running is back and I am so tempted to hate myself for taking these steps backward. But I guess the first me is still alive in there somewhere, cause that first me won't ever allow herself to be hated, not by anyone and certainly not by herself.

The first me never wrote a letter, but I know I can look on here for posts (posts by me!) of triumph and enthusiasm. It is a struggle. I always self-fulfill my mindset....I need to change my mindset.

Sorry if this rambling does not make sense, and thanks for getting me thinking.
"And that's how Beowulf rolls"~ my DD
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Old 03-09-2007, 01:18 PM   #12
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Default Thank you Wyllenn

Well, add me to the list. That was a great idea and well written. I'm going to take some time this weekend and write one, too. Great idea.
I also think it would be a good idea to share them with each other. We can all learn so much from each other!!

I was just thinking the other day (when I was having a little stress) that I didn't have any comfort without the comfort food. I couldn't get past it that day and stayed in a little depressed funk for awhile, but later thought that I need to develop something else that is comforting that I can retreat to in a crisis.
This time, I'm going to be stronger, I'm not giving in. - Rudimental
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Old 03-09-2007, 01:51 PM   #13
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I think most people backslide. There are a rare few who lose the weight, adjust to a new lifestyle, and continue onward without major slipups or regain. I hope, Tricia, that you are one of them....wish I was! But, alas, I have already proven on more that one occasion that I am not. For me, Wyllen's letter was powerful because it will allow her to see again the woman she is who CAN succeed, kick some butt, and achieve her goals....Even on days where she may not feel like she is still that woman (hope I am not putting words into her mouth, but that is how her post spoke to me)

As with a multitude of other things, I suppose one should take what is meaningful to him or herself and leave the rest.
"And that's how Beowulf rolls"~ my DD
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Old 03-09-2007, 02:40 PM   #14
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Hi there, Heather! I remember when you originally posted that letter -- it's as poignant and motivating now as it was then! I just love that you so generously share it here with all of us. I know I'm not alone in saying that I really appreciate it!

Tricia, I wouldn't take it as "fatalistic" or overthink it too much. I think it's natural, realistic and healthy to, when you're doing well in your behaviors and mindset but still have a long road ahead of you, acknowledge that at some future time it could be possible that you might need some encouragement and a perspective shift in the form of a reminder of another time. I remember when Heather first posted here, and she was totally positive, motivated, and focused! Few of us are infallable, though, and rare is the weight loss success story that doesn't include some type of temporary emotional weariness or a behavioral misstep. I applaud Heather's wisdom and humility in acknowledging that she might need to give her future self a pep talk and a walk down memory lane! Damn, she lost 120 pounds, so I'm thinking she did something right!

Heather, you rock on with your bad self, girl!! I'm SO proud of your progress, and I know you'll get where you want to be. In fact, in so many ways, I think you might already be there.
Check out my blog!
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Old 03-09-2007, 05:06 PM   #15
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Thanks Wyllenn, I needed that.

New goal: staying binge free and losing those last few again, but for the last time!!
"Never trade what you want at the moment for what you want the most." -unknown
"Your power is in your ability to decide." -fortune cookie
"Hope; after a storm birds always sing." -unknown
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