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Old 03-08-2007, 11:58 AM   #1
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Talking Crawling out of the Ditch and dropping the Emotional Baggage!

I feel good today; like I am finally getting out of the rut I have been stuck in.

This morning my food intake has been good and last night I had a great NSV.. I exercised. I tried out a new gym last night. It was a great change from the new hi-tech and over-crowded gym I have been unsuccessfully forcing myself to go to. It was much smaller and quieter.. older and more comfortable. I like it alot. And there weren't as many mirrors! I hated at the other gym how all of the walls were mirrors, everywhere. You had to stare at yourself the whole time you huffed and puffed! I think I can get used to this place. I went around and tested out the various machines (the ones I was too afraid to try before) by looking at the directional pictures and just working my way through it until I was doing it correctly. Now I won't be so intimidated to use them! Feel the burn...

I also realized today that I have been carrying around so much of other people's emotional baggage. I realized I can put it down. Let them pick it up for themselves if they want to carry it! I have enough stress of my own without taking on everyone else's. This morning my sister actually tried to pick a fight with me through text-messaging! I just didn't do it. I responded, "I am not fighting with you anymore. All we do is fight. It's not worth the energy or the bad mood it puts me in. I'm not blaming you; I know my part in it. It's just stupid and I'm done with it." (She has yet to reply to it and I don't expect that she will) ..whew.. it feels good to just lay it out there and when she threw the ball at me I just decided not to catch it. Let her keep her bad mood; I don't want it!

I'm crawling out of the ditch one baby step at a time, towards the road to success! Thanks all for being so supportive and helping me come so far! You rock...
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Old 03-08-2007, 12:29 PM   #2
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Wow -- you must feel absolutely amazing!! You know, my husband and I have argued like that for years and within the last month, I've decided the same thing, it's not worth my time or energy. And you know what, it did stop, you can't argue with someone who refuses to defend themselves but instead does what you did, acts in an adult, rational manner. You did a great thing, you might actually find the two of you get along better now. It doesn't mean giving in, it means understanding it's a complete waste of time and energy. My husband and I actually get along better now, because it has crossed into a "grown up" relationship -- I realized I was enabling it as much as he was. It's not about defending yourself, it's about respecting each other and your opinions.

Rambling, rambling, sorry!! I'm just so proud of you for putting yourself first. I hope you love the new gym!!

Weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint.
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Old 03-08-2007, 12:34 PM   #3
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You handled your sister beautifully!!!! You have come to a great realization. You're sister is not going to change. What has to be changed is your reactions to her and you have just taken a great, huge, gigantic step.

That new gym sounds fantastic. I know what you mean about the mirrors. I hope you have continued success there and love every minute of it.
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Old 03-08-2007, 12:50 PM   #4
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Thanks! I do feel great.

It's funny because a couple minutes after I submitted my thread I was tested when a lady called into my work and yelled, literally yelled at me about my crappy customer service..

I found myself starting to get hot and mad and then I stopped. "What is she trying to teach me?" "This is a test." Then I thought there was no reason to let a lady I don't even know ruin my day; she can't make me mad unless I let her. So I closed my eyes and visualized this enraged stranger screaming at me.. balling up her anger in her hands and throwing the ball at me.. I crossed my arms, let it hit me and bounce off of me and I didn't catch it. I did it a few times in my head and then I felt fine and didn't take in her anger.
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Old 03-08-2007, 12:54 PM   #5
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Good news, Kae! Sounds like you have found a positive new direction to take. It reminds me of a quote I read once that basically said that it is up to me to remind myself that I am not controller of the universe; that I need to realize what is within my control and I can change, and what is out of my control and won't change no matter what effort or energy or worry I put into it. Kind of like the serenity prayer, but I liked the part about not being controller of the universe!
Keep going that way and keep posting!!!
This time, I'm going to be stronger, I'm not giving in. - Rudimental
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Old 03-08-2007, 02:23 PM   #6
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YAY for your breakthrough! I know you have been going through it with your sister, and you are right. All of that IS draining. You DON'T have to put up with it anymore. Good for you!!!
WLS (Duodenal Switch) 6.26.08

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Old 03-08-2007, 10:52 PM   #7
Losin' it forever!
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Good for you, Kae! It sounds like you stopped your sister in her tracks! Maybe a few more times doing that and she'll realize you've risen above and back off!
RNY 4/15/08

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Old 03-08-2007, 11:13 PM   #8
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Default keep up the good work

Hey Kae,

I really appreciated your post b/c I'm dealing w/ a similar issue. I'm just not at your point yet. Hopefully, I will be there soon. Keep staying positive.

Mini goal:

Long term goal:
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Old 03-09-2007, 09:45 AM   #9
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Great job Kae!! You "get it" now - and you're well on your way!!
"wrap your brain around the idea that this is for the rest of your life" (thanks Jillybean!)

Christmas Gift Goal - 170 pounds (which will be 100 pounds GONE!) - 17 to go!
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Old 03-09-2007, 11:57 AM   #10
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Good job with your sister!

And the lady on the phone... gosh, isn't customer service the WORST?
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Old 03-09-2007, 12:06 PM   #11
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Kae - It sounds like a great a-ha moment. It was when I realized the unhealthy environment I was in and decided to change it that I was then able to change my relationship with food. WTG!
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Old 03-09-2007, 12:06 PM   #12
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Thanks all! I am feeling great today! My sister never did say anything back to me.. stopped her dead in her tracks. She spoke to me when she got home and was completely friendly to me.. same with this morning. Maybe she is growing tired of the fighting as well.

Thanks again for the great responses!!!
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