You are NOT alone in this!
I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from about this! I spent a couple hours this morning after my workout just reading over the journals I have written in the last few years. Emotional eating is ALL OVER those pages!
As I look at it all now I KNOW why I was unable to lose weight...I was trying to eat to calm myself, help myself, de-stress myself, make myself feel more relaxed, strength myself... You name it, I was using EATING to solve EVERYTHING in my life!
I think that it is VERY easy to keep doing something and VERY hard to make a change. I think that you have made a HUGE STEP in NAMING the problem in your life! Now that you are truly aware of what is happening to you it is easier to FIGHT the feelings that make you want to use food as THE SOLUTION!
I've read a bunch of books about weight loss. The things that have helped me the most are:
1) Food is to nourish your body. It is NOT a solution to any emotional issue. This was a VERY NEW concept to me! I never even REALIZED that I was using food as a solution to my stress!
2) YOU are more important than any food that goes into your body for any reason. I don't think I really loved myself before! I spent so much time loving everyone else that I had no time left FOR MYSELF!
3) Nothing/nobody should make you feel that even a morsel of food should enter your body. No emotion (happy, sad, depressed etc.) should control you to the point of causing you to put food into your body. You should eat because your body needs that food and you are PHYSICALLY hungry. I used to eat because it was dinnertime or lunchtime or because the food looked yummy or (insert ANY reason here!)
4) Writing down your thoughts and feelings REALLY HELPS to allow you to begin feeling control over your life. It is also VERY helpful to read over what you've written in the past to see the progress you have made in your journey.
I don't know whether you are a believer in the power of prayer, but if you are, I encourage you to give your problems to God. Once I let Him in I found so much more strength than I had had before. I will pray for you, Kae. It WILL be OK!