Rockinrobin -- So, I guess when we start we think it's all going to be positive, amazing the feelings that come up, that we just have no one to share them with. Spouses, children, etc. can be very supportive, but it's hard to go from almost invisible to so darn hot you can't stand it, isn't it? And the center of my life has been the foods I ate and how they made me feel, it's been tough to refocus on exercise, drinking water and eating healthy. I now find myself trying to come up with things to fill that void food used to fill (in such an unhealthy way). And, I think two people who each loss 100 pounds will still have different feelings towards it and the journey they've been on. So, in the end we can all relate to the struggles and trials of losing weight, but I think each person's journey takes a different route to get there.
It's just a very solo effort, the weightloss. No one can help us but ourselves. It's ours and ours alone.
Food was the center of my life before. But I gotta tell you I think, no I know I'm even MORE focused on it now. Without a doubt. I think of food constantly. The shopping, preparing, the menus, the actual cooking, clean up, the planning, the planning, the planning. When I "get" to eat again. Getting in my water. I'm also very focused on the fitness aspect. So I think I have found how to fill the void. It's still food, I just transfered it to the healthy kind instead of the enormous quantities and not giving a fig as to what I was eating kind. And then of course there's the reading up on all the fitness and the good foods and fitday and 3FC. I am totally and completely obessesed. I'm not complaining mind you, in fact I think it's kind of like a bonus. It didn't happen for me right away, I can't even pinpoint when it did become an obsession. Give it time, without a doubt the determination and commitment increases as you go along, as you have more success. I even wrote that in my signature. The motivation increases also. I'm actually enjoying this journey. You will too. Hang in there. And remember you can share with us here at 3fc. Anytime and always. We're here for you.
My husband and I have known one another since we were ten, soooooo, he knew me before boobs, when I was a FOOT SHORTER than I am right now, AND when I wore glasses just like Mona's best friend in the movie "Beautiful"!!!
Weight loss to HIM ranks right up there with lip gloss, nailpolish, and tampons! Yes, TOTALLY NOT important to him! Now if I were to get a new iPod or I discovered the solution to some difficult mathematical equation, WELL, then I would have his COMPLETE interest and attention. Weight loss...no...does not compute!
I think if he wasn't thin, weight loss might be something he could relate to...maybe. Also, if he DOES ever gain a few pounds, he either goes and buys some new slacks in a bigger size OR he just doesn't eat much for a few days and the pants fit again!
In the FORTY-FIVE YEARS I have known him I can't ever remember a time that HE brought up my weight! Since we have known one another my weight has gone from eight-five pounds as a fourth grader to 275 in 1999, so that's a LOT of changes happenin' there!
For him, I think the most important connections that we have are our kids, our values, and our VERY LONG history together. As long as I am there as his partner, friend, barber, and proofreader of his math exams and reports and can lug his band equipment as needed, I can be whatever weight I want to be!
This weight loss thing is for ME so that I will feel good and look good and so that I can meet my goals.
Good for you to realize that weight loss is FOR YOU!
Richard is in the supportive but not changing his choices category. He always makes sure that he tells me how great I am doing and asks what he can do to help. However, he is a big junkfood addict and doesn't really see the need to change. I frequently make a different dinner for myself than the rest of the family. I am the only one who eats fish and I try to eat that 2-3 times a week now. I have increased the family's fruit and veggies intake and the kids have never been allowed to have soda etc. routinely at home. We do have junkfood and foods that are not on my plan in the house, but I have been okay with that. I don't crave them and have not had trouble staying away. I am planning to keep shifting meals to healthier versions slowly so they don't notice (complain.) I figure I need to do this somewhat drastically but they don't so I can shift things slower for them. As the spring comes I am going to get the girls walking with me as well. They swim and have gymnastics each week but I think increasing activity as a family will be a great goal!
My DH is very supportive. He wants me to lose weight because we both know that it would positively affect my depression & hopefully my fertility. He never comments on my weight but is happy for me when I succeed. He is trying to lose some as well, although his focus is more on fitness than weightloss & he does most of the cooking which is healthier than when I cook.
When Paul and I met, we were both about 180. He has never made any negative comments about my weight. Over the 13 years of marriage, we have both put on quite a bit of weight. We are both doing Southbeach together and working out together. He has been a great support, but he was letting me down a bit this last couple of weeks. He hasnt seem as motivated. We've had some talks about this becoming our lifestyle and not just a diet, and I believe he's back on board with me now.
I am one of the lucky ones too. I've been married for 30 years to my 7th grade sweetheart. He has known me from the time I was 12 years old! He is very supportive and he never mentions my weight unless I bring it up. He knows I am not happy with myself, and that I am the one who has to do this, no one can do it FOR me. He eats what I fix without too much complaining ~ he does have some things that HE keeps in his desk drawer for snacking that I don't want to have access to. He is a a GREAT cheerleader every week when I weigh in too - he just wants me to be happy and healthy and able to enjoy life. He also is not one who is very overweight either - he could loose maybe 15 pounds. He has loved me thin and fat - and in the tough times. I am a lucky woman.
hubby and i go in phases. he either gets on the super lose weight kick and then gets upset with me if i don't work out as often or as hard as him or if i eat something he thinks is not on the plan, because he's sticking to it I have to too...
and then he'll go through a phase where he's just like -"lets go get nacho's... i want a big mac..." blah.
We are good and bad for each other, basically. Somewhere there must be a balance... we haven't quite found it yet. We're still working on it. He would never do or say anything intentionally to be unsupportive. But sometimes if he's in his "diet-****" attitude, I'll be honest - I just have to cheat because I'm mad at him (talk about emotional eating!)
I'm so glad to see so many supportive couples. I'm really pleased.
My husband is supportive. When we first met I weighed 217. A year later weighed 279. I'm now back down to 248 as the ticker reads. He has never complained about my weight in seriousness or joking. He doe get very excited when I do lose weight though. That sortta makes me feel bad. I don't know why. I know he loves me just the way I am and he thinks I'm attractive. I just I dunno..
We've banned alot of the foods he loves from the house & although he'd gladly take them back in a heartbeat, he's doing it for me. He doesn't get to eat alot of his favorite foods, but at work he eats whatever. I make some of his fried, greasy, starchy foods once in awhile. Oh, and he LOVES juice, but he makes that sacrifice for me as well.
The one thing that we have trouble with is that he thinks he is healthy just because he is thin. I keep telling him he really needs to exercise and avoid fried foods, but he truly believes its okay cause he's thin.
My husband and I are long-haul truck drivers who drive in the same truck. My husband SAYS he is supportive but he is my biggest saboteur! He will pick up junk food for himself and since he wants to be wonderful, he will pick up a goodie or two for me also. Also, after he is finished driving, he will leave junk food on the dashboard so I have to remember to put it out of my reach (or sight) before I start driving so that I don't eat it because I keep looking at it until it drives me crazy!!
I am trying to lose weight and I would love for my husband to lose weight too (he could lose at least 75 pounds!) but he couldn't care less about losing weight and that makes it that much harder for me since we practically live together in our semi 24/7.
And the center of my life has been the foods I ate and how they made me feel, it's been tough to refocus on exercise, drinking water and eating healthy. I now find myself trying to come up with things to fill that void food used to fill (in such an unhealthy way). And, I think two people who each loss 100 pounds will still have different feelings towards it and the journey they've been on. So, in the end we can all relate to the struggles and trials of losing weight, but I think each person's journey takes a different route to get there. 
What an interesting thread!
Somewhere there must be a balance... we haven't quite found it yet. We're still working on it. He would never do or say anything intentionally to be unsupportive. But sometimes if he's in his "diet-****" attitude, I'll be honest - I just have to cheat because I'm mad at him (talk about emotional eating!)
