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Monday morning Funnies!!

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Old 01-08-2007, 09:15 AM   #1
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Default Monday morning Funnies!!

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."


And they say blondes are dumb...

-----------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

-----------------------------------

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of
the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed
the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

-----------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

-----------------------------------

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding
Anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!

-----------------------------------

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength...
I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

-----------------------------------

Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

-----------------------------------

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.

-----------------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
Calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

-----------------------------------

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

-----------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
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Old 01-08-2007, 12:36 PM   #2
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Quote:
Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength...
I'll beat him to death.

AMEN
My favorite! Thanks for sharing, how many calories does laughing burn?
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Old 01-08-2007, 12:45 PM   #3
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Lol!
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Old 01-08-2007, 12:54 PM   #4
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Old 01-08-2007, 08:55 PM   #5
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Hehehhehehhehe
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