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Freedom: My Personal Journey

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Old 01-04-2007, 03:28 PM   #1
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Default Freedom: My Personal Journey

Okay all,

i've been bopping around on these boards for a very long time now (about 7 months!) and find it difficult to sustain any sort of real conversation, or even encouragement.

I'm ready to get serious about this journey of mine (well, more serious than i have been.) and figured i'd start my own litte thread here where i feel safe. I considered the 20 something forum, but as most of those girls don't have as much weight to lose as i do, i still felt out of place.

So, please feel free to join in here and chat with me about anything, and i will keep it updated on my progress, my trials, my frustrations, and my sucesses. I'll still post in other threads all over the forum, but i wanted a little place i could call my own.

I'll post again in a bit with a little background on myself. Thanks for everyone's support so far!
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Old 01-04-2007, 03:36 PM   #2
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Hey..I am Tracey..
Welcome.. I must admit I do not post much.. I am working on that this year.
Looking foward to getting to know you..
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Old 01-04-2007, 03:56 PM   #3
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Yes, I've seen you around a bit. You can most definitely feel safe around here. Looking forward to getting to know you better and that we can benefit and help one another.
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Old 01-04-2007, 03:57 PM   #4
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Welcome, Saoirsee! Jump in where ever you're comfortable, and people will respond! Good luck to you on your journey!
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8~8~06 Journey Started, 246 lbs.
11~10~07 WW Goal Achieved, 150 lbs.
12~22~07 WW Lifetime Achieved, 148 lbs.
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Old 01-04-2007, 04:01 PM   #5
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Hi Saoirsee,
I can kinda relate. I have been here for almost a year now and sometimes you'll be part of a thread for awhile and then it quickly disolves. Some of which is my fault only because I tend to shy away when I'm not doing so well.
I would love to find a new place to share the good and the bad.

Best of luck to you.
Hope to chat more.
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Old 01-04-2007, 04:33 PM   #6
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Whatever works for you! You post and I'll respond
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Old 01-04-2007, 04:36 PM   #7
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Okay. So i posted this in a thread about apathy a little while ago, (so i know Robin has read it. ) But i thought it served as a pretty good brief wrap up of where i'm at right now.

At 24 years of age and 292 pounds (i may have hit the 300 mark, i'm not sure. But when i weighed a few weeks into active weight loss this is what showed up on the scale) i was just absolutely disgusted with myself. My MIL had decided to do Atkins, and asked if i would do it with her. I did a modified Atkins really, because i didn't go as far as she did, and i never bought the Atkins yogurts and chocolate bars and etc. that she did.

Anyway, i managed to lose about 50 pounds, and it wasn't that hard! And then i got pregnant! This was actually amazing news, as i was pretty sure something was wrong with me (well,.. something was,.. my weight!!!) after 3 years of my husband and i trying.

While pregnant i managed to lose another 5-7 pounds, and when i gave birth to my son, i lost 30 more pounds instantly! Yay!! LOL

Over the next 6-8 months after i gave birth i lost another 10-15 pounds.

Then my situation changed a bit, i lost all control of the foods available to me (don't buy the groceries, nor specifically pay for them, and could make a few requests but not complete diet changes) and stressful life occurrances, and i ended up gaining back 45-50 pounds.

Over the past 2 months i've successfully lowered my weight by 8 pounds. This is completely unacceptable considering my previous successes. I still have little to no control on the foods available to me, but i still make much healthier choices. I've been working out consistantly, and i'm very very frustrated.

I know the reason, among all the other stressors in my life, that i began to gain again was because i had also hit a plateau, and was not losing any weight, and i gave up.

Even now, i look at pictures of myself from 3 years ago and think how awful i looked, and i know i look a teeny bit better now. But, just catching glimpses of myself in windows and etc still makes me sick, because i'm still SO HUGE.

But since i can now find clothes without TOO much hassle, and even some of the stuff in regular department stores fit me now, i find that yeah, i'm a bit complacent about it all. Apathetic. Why should i have to work this hard for the rest of my life just to be what society thinks is acceptable?!

But then i realize it's for my own health, and to set a good example for my son, and to be able to spend as much time here on earth with my son, and get the most out of that time. To do all of these things i need to be healthier (my doctor says i'm quite healthy now, but i could be better.). I know i could still stand to lose about 100 pounds, and be quite healthy.

I really do want to lose it. Honest. But it's just so hard right now and i get so discouraged so easily. It wasn't so hard before!!
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Old 01-04-2007, 05:11 PM   #8
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It is easy to get discouraged. I have the same thing. Your motivation is exactly the same as mine. My children are my life - and for them I have to be more healthy. I don't want my doctor to tell me that I'm healthy. I want her to tell me how fat I am and how much I need to lose weight. Otherwise, I'll accept myself as I am and quit.

My reason for being at 3FC is because I need someplace to talk about my journey (rather than bore my skinny coworkers) and desperately need the encouragement to keep going.

I spent a couple of hours on my virtual model the other day making virutal "me's" for every 10 pounds until I hit my goal weight. I tried the same things on my (former) 268-pound model and on my 160-pound model - I saved them on my computer for those times I'm ready to make less-than-healthy choices.

We can do it - together. I don't think you want to hear it, but 8 pounds in 2 months isn't bad. That's a very healthy weight loss, especially coupled with the muscle mass GAIN from exercise. Please be proud of what you've accomplished - I'm certain that you've lost more than 8 pounds of fat through exercise.

Hm, I'm not so sure I'm encouraging at all!
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Old 01-04-2007, 09:35 PM   #9
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I'm very new to the posting thing -- hope I can jump in here. I wanted to respond to the posting.

Dear Saiorsee -- I have three sons about your age -- so here's a message from Mama. Don't give up! Don't get blue! I certainly understand why you have the "Why me's?" Been there, done that! Anything more than 50 pounds is just not fun. It's just that when I get into that pit, I don't make any progress.

One thing to remember: We need to love ourselves for who we are. If you love someone and hate someone, which is the one you are going to take the best care of? Ha! The one you love!!!

Hope tomorrow is a wonderful day. Each one is new. Each one can be wonderful. And, each one is filled with good wishes from the 3FC'ers!! Barbara

PS -- I don't know how to change the stupid weight tracker, but I've lost 4 pounds this week!!
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Old 01-04-2007, 10:50 PM   #10
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Hey there! I just wanted to pop in to say hi and that I think that your username and title of this thread is very cute and extremely applicable. It really is a liberation process.
I wish you all the best.
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Old 01-04-2007, 11:07 PM   #11
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Hi there! Thanks so much for sharing your struggles. We are all here to help each other.. I hope you'll keep posting!!

I understand why you feel apathetic... I feel the same thing. Politically I'd like to be able to say "screw this, I am who I am" but I want to be fit, healthy, and active.. and I feel that my weight has shaped my personality in a lot of ways (not in a bad way... but I'm definitely always the "giver" in relationships, and I dont have any specific examples but I feel that I have to try a lot harder with people than I would if I were smaller). Anyway, I wish you luck, and please come back and vent/muse as much as you can!
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Old 01-05-2007, 08:37 AM   #12
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It all comes down to one decision at a time, one day at a time! That's how I got this way -- and it's the only way I can reclaim the person I really am.
Because we all know I'm not really a 51-year-old, turning gray Grandma who's 100 pounds overweight! I am a tall, 20-year-old, brown-eyed brunette who can still cartwheel across the grass and thinks the world is an amazing place to live!! (In my dreams .........but who believes they will ever change from that???)

To all you other girls out there: Have an amazing day -- the world is still a wonderful place!
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Old 01-05-2007, 09:12 AM   #13
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Hi Saiorsee,

Really good to see you starting a journal. I took the liberty of starting one too - not sure if that's OK as not many seem to do it here. Like you I need a place to call my own and have a detailed record of my eating and how I'm feeling - but of course I want to support others. Sounds like you already got serious if you've lost 50lbs - that's excellent. But maybe time to refocus your efforts - I've lost count of how many times I've had to do that! Hope to be in regular contact - sounds like we have lots in common and are similar weights.

EM
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Old 01-05-2007, 09:24 AM   #14
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Good morning Saiorsee,

It's funny that you mentioned your Dr. telling you that you're in good health. Everytime I went to see my internist he wouldn't say a word to me about my weight. I thought that was really, really weird. To this day I still don't get it. Thank goodness all my numbers were okay, cholesterol, blood pressure, oxygen level, sugar levels. But the one number that was really, really wrong was my weight. Not that I needed him to tell me I needed to lose weight, but I still think he should have. Although my health had not been compromised as of yet, I always felt like a time bomb waiting to go off.

I think the fact that you've lost so much weight in the past is a good thing. At least you know that you can do it. And do you know how many women would be sooo happy to lose 8 lbs in 2 months? That's really not too shabby.

It is hard to lose weight, but it's also hard to be overweight. But you most definitely are headed in the right direction. Good luck to you!!!! And we're right here for ya.
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Old 01-05-2007, 01:04 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wchs2007 View Post
Hey..I am Tracey..
Welcome.. I must admit I do not post much.. I am working on that this year.
Looking foward to getting to know you..
Hi Tracey! Thanks for stopping in. Stick around here and i'm sure you'll get your post count up quickly! Just jump in!

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinrobin View Post
Yes, I've seen you around a bit. You can most definitely feel safe around here. Looking forward to getting to know you better and that we can benefit and help one another.
There you are Robin. I'm looking forward to getting to know you too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by boaterswife View Post
Welcome, Saoirsee! Jump in where ever you're comfortable, and people will respond! Good luck to you on your journey!
Thank you for the welcome Kelly! And thanks so much for your encouragement.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel33 View Post
Hi Saoirsee,
I can kinda relate. I have been here for almost a year now and sometimes you'll be part of a thread for awhile and then it quickly disolves. Some of which is my fault only because I tend to shy away when I'm not doing so well.
I would love to find a new place to share the good and the bad.

Best of luck to you.
Hope to chat more.
Hi Aleecia (i'm assuming that's your name,... if it's not just tell me! lol )! I tend to get shy about how i'm doing too, and sorta blend back into the woodwork. But i figured by starting my own thread, well, maybe that would kick it up a bit. You should start a thread for yourself too! I would join it! And then, if you disappeared for a while i would poke you a little so you came back and posted.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 108tolose View Post
Whatever works for you! You post and I'll respond
Hi 108tolose! I did a little searching but couldn't come up with your name. sorry.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 108tolose View Post
It is easy to get discouraged. I have the same thing.
We can do it - together. I don't think you want to hear it, but 8 pounds in 2 months isn't bad. That's a very healthy weight loss, especially coupled with the muscle mass GAIN from exercise. Please be proud of what you've accomplished - I'm certain that you've lost more than 8 pounds of fat through exercise.

Hm, I'm not so sure I'm encouraging at all!

Just having someone else to talk to regularly is encouranging in itself! And thank you so much! Together. Yes!

And i know that 8 pounds in 2 months isn't technically all that bad. It's just, the last time i lost weight it melted off so easily! And this time it's so incredibly difficult!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mississippi Magnolia View Post
I'm very new to the posting thing -- hope I can jump in here. I wanted to respond to the posting.

PS -- I don't know how to change the stupid weight tracker, but I've lost 4 pounds this week!!

Hi Barbara, you are more than welcome here! Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It means a lot to me. And BRAVO on your weightloss!! That's marvelous! In order to change your ticker you'll need to click on it to go back to the place you created it, and just change the weight, then cut and paste the new link into your siggy.


Quote:
Originally Posted by shrinkingchica View Post
Hey there! I just wanted to pop in to say hi and that I think that your username and title of this thread is very cute and extremely applicable. It really is a liberation process.
I wish you all the best.
Hiya Charlotte! Thank you for jumping in. And thanks for the compliments. The whole concept of freedom for me encompasses a lot of things in my life right now. My weight loss journey, my (single) parenting journey, and learning to be me again, on my own. I want to look at all of this, (even my single-ness) as a positive thing.


Quote:
Originally Posted by djs06 View Post
Hi there! Thanks so much for sharing your struggles. We are all here to help each other.. I hope you'll keep posting!!

Anyway, I wish you luck, and please come back and vent/muse as much as you can!
Hey there Dana! Thanks for stopping in. I plan to keep posting! I think that will be the one thing that will really keep me on track this time. So with all of your help, i can do this, right?

I know exactly what you mean about how your weight shapes your personality. And you're right, it's not necessarily in a bad way at all! But i can't wait to see what parts of our personality really start to shine the more we are able to be comfortable in our skin, and healthy and active!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mississippi Magnolia View Post
It all comes down to one decision at a time, one day at a time! That's how I got this way -- and it's the only way I can reclaim the person I really am.
Because we all know I'm not really a 51-year-old, turning gray Grandma who's 100 pounds overweight! I am a tall, 20-year-old, brown-eyed brunette who can still cartwheel across the grass and thinks the world is an amazing place to live!! (In my dreams .........but who believes they will ever change from that???)

To all you other girls out there: Have an amazing day -- the world is still a wonderful place!
Aw Barbara!! I beleive you can life like a 20 year old, with this weight loss. Together we can do it, right? Thank you for all your wonderful encouragement! I hope i can be a source of strength and encouragement for you too, through this journey.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EnglishMuffin View Post
Hi Saiorsee,

Really good to see you starting a journal. I took the liberty of starting one too - not sure if that's OK as not many seem to do it here. Like you I need a place to call my own and have a detailed record of my eating and how I'm feeling - but of course I want to support others. Sounds like you already got serious if you've lost 50lbs - that's excellent. But maybe time to refocus your efforts - I've lost count of how many times I've had to do that! Hope to be in regular contact - sounds like we have lots in common and are similar weights.

EM
EM! I'm glad you made it over here. I noticed your thread too, and thought, well, it can't hurt to try my own! I've only ever had 1 attempt at weight loss, but i'm just so surprised at how much more difficult it is the second time around. Regular contact sounds wonderful. Together we can do this!

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinrobin View Post
Good morning Saiorsee,

It's funny that you mentioned your Dr. telling you that you're in good health. Everytime I went to see my internist he wouldn't say a word to me about my weight. I thought that was really, really weird. To this day I still don't get it. Thank goodness all my numbers were okay, cholesterol, blood pressure, oxygen level, sugar levels. But the one number that was really, really wrong was my weight. Not that I needed him to tell me I needed to lose weight, but I still think he should have. Although my health had not been compromised as of yet, I always felt like a time bomb waiting to go off.

I think the fact that you've lost so much weight in the past is a good thing. At least you know that you can do it. And do you know how many women would be sooo happy to lose 8 lbs in 2 months? That's really not too shabby.

It is hard to lose weight, but it's also hard to be overweight. But you most definitely are headed in the right direction. Good luck to you!!!! And we're right here for ya.
I hear ya on the doctor thing. I guess, my doctor DID say something when i was close to 300. So i suppose he was so happy with my loss that he just stopped. That wasn't helpful though, because i still had a long way to go!

I keep telling myself the same thing, about knowing i can lose the weight. It's just that this time is so much more difficult! And i know,... i know 8 pounds shouldn't be discouraging to me. It's something. It's better than gaining!! lol Thanks so much for your support Robin!
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