Sorry in advance its kinda long.
I am 33 and split my life between NYC (family), NJ(where I live, and Philadelphia where my boyfriend lives. No kids. Maybe one day. I do computer work (DBA, web design, etc...) for a living and also have a side gig throwing events. I joined 3fc in March of 2006 after lurking for about a month. I tend to hang out in 100+, 300lbs, and the Intuitive Eating Thread (they are my peoples, LOL)
I was thinking about this for a while. My relationship with food has always been a little weird. I was fine as a kid till about 5 or 6 when my mother married my step mother. I would throw up. In pictures I looked like a skeleton.
I moved to California when I was 7 and lived with my mother. It was just me and my mother and I never really had friends. I was always happier with a book or TV and so I ate.
When I was 14 I moved to NY and my stepmother and father put me on a "diet". It really just involved trying to keep me away from junk. I was about a size 14 when I was a junior in high school. I remember having to be weighed in front of everyone and been embarrassed that I was 180 something I would love to be now. I was always active which I think helped keep some of the weight at bay. I was on the drill team in junior high school (mostly to get me out of regular gym) and on the swim team in high school.
College is where everything caught up with me. Knowing what I have learned here and looking back I realize my eating habits were horrible, but I was burning enough that I maintained. When I got to college I stopped being as active. After college I was about a size 20-22.
I didn't weigh myself again for about 5 or so years. I am guessing because after the embarrassment in high school I avoided all scales.
I was in my early 20s and at a Dr appt. and figured I would look this time. I was 320 lbs. I cried, starved myself for a week and then that was it.
During this time I was working a lot and with no one at home I didn't shop. I ate out just about all the time. On the rare occasions I cooked it was pasta with a lot of meat and sauce. Then any left overs I would eat. No clue about portion control
I did try Atkins, but just couldn't give up certain things and no other diet stuck with me.
Ok, so from then till 2004 I avoided the scales. Once again back at the Dr. and looked again. I was 352.
Here is where things start to click into place. There was never any one big day where I just said here is the place. A lot of little things worked for me..alot of little clicks.
I may have lost at some point but if so it wasn't for long and I was living in denial so never got on the scale.
The fact that I was more than half way to 400lbs got to me. I go to a lot of bbw parties so I have friends who were that or more. That was the first so called click.
In Feb of 2006 My boyfriend said he wanted chase me around for the next 50 years. On the road I was going I just couldn't see it...Click.
I joined 3fc Click.
I joined a couple of different challenge but nothing really stuck and I was going to try and give Atkins another try. I was on and off 3fc because I was in the process of buying a condo.
In Aug of 2006 I was in my kitchen having a hunger headache, said enough I was just going to eat better, not limit anything and go from there. I think the next day I found the intuitive eating thread. CLICK.
I decided if I didn't have to eat on a specific plan why couldn't I follow my own exercise plan. CLICK.
I think between Aug 2006 and Jan 2007 I lost 1lb. I was little sad but it was the first time I got on the scale and it was lower than before. I was finally doing something right. CLICK CLICK CLICK, LOL
I'm 11lbs down since Jan 1 and couldn't thank you all enough for inspiring me.
Things I've learned...
-Find what works for you. Everyone is different.
- Make it a lifestyle. Put yourself first. My boyfriend feels guilty when he calls and knows I am working out LOL because I sound so annoyed.
-Educate. I was eating 500 calorie muffins. I became acquainted with fitday and calorie king, now I can tell you the calorie value of everything i put in my mouth. especially riblets, LOL
-Don't beat yourself if you fall off the wagon. I would stop posting on 3fc when I thought i was doing badly, but I realized no one here was going to "yell at me" they just put out a hand to help me back on the wagon.
-If you do stumble, think of it a learning lesson to get to know yourself better. Think about why you stumbled how next time maybe you can step over that particular Block.
-Find a support system that works for you. Post or Lurk on here. I cannot even conceive of being this far along without 3fc. My boyfriend muscular and eats everything. My family is all big and not supportive.
Ok, off the soapbox.
-Obie
