The Life and Times of a Fat Girl (Rated R)

Okay, I realize that many of you have followed my posts about basically losing my mind and not thinking that I could do this. So here is my current dilemma.

The first week of dieting is easy. You are so engulfed in figuring out new things you can eat, the excitement and hope of losing that first few pounds, that you can just cruise through it.
The second week is brutal. Just brutal. You begin to notice the changes in your body and that is cool but you begin to notice how much food is shoved in your face, how much you miss the bag of doritos at night while watching TV.
You might cheat in the coming weeks, but it gets easier. Meaning that you are finally accepting this as a life style change.

Now - two months into this and twenty-five pounds gone -Well, I have hit something kind of weird. Since I threw my back out - about 2.5 weeks ago - working out has been excruciating. I have stuck with tai chi - which i love. It was easier when I was doing these massive work outs.

But I am so far away from hungry I am beginning to kind of spazz. I used to go over, and over and over on my calories but now I am lucky if I even hit my already low goal. I’m not dizzy, not famished, just not hungry. Everything is totally unappetizing. The chick who used to love food loathes it.

How do you force yourself to eat, when you aren’t hungry, without losing your mentality that you are just eating to survive?

Has anyone else hit this and how do they overcome this? How the crap do I get hungry?

Ohhhh it has been a tedious couple weeks. Drama, weight loss, drama, more weight loss, some music being recorded.

I got a new dog. I have a new crush, outside of my boyfriend who lost his job and refuses to find another, I have some new pictures, I wrote three new songs, I saw New Kid on the Block. So, I know that I have been out of the loop for a while and Eileen, whose knee I hope feels better, I am back.

I am down to 245, which is awesome. I wish I was down 100 now for the main reason of someone who knew me at this weight 4 years ago has requested to see me. Dreamweaver status people. This man sends me through the moon and as sad as I say it – my current relationship is falling apart. But as selfish as I am – I will only be dismantling my current living situation if this other one pans out. Could be a long road. A very long road.

So I am feeling kind of spicy and I am gonna throw some pictures up.