its been 3 days now of food tracking. I cant seem to get below 1400 calories though. before I went off track i wa eating around 1300 felt satisfied and losing pretty steadily and now I feel like I am starving at 1400 and not losing any weight. I am hoping after dinner tonight I can get some exercise but Don want to ride our motorcylces up to Bike night. hum, what to do?
I am back on track now for 2 days in a row. It may not sound like much but 2 days is better than no days, like the last 2 weeks have. I ate 1460 calories yesterday, I hope to keep that a little lower today. I lose better if i keep arounf 1300 instead of 1500. I know i could change that if I exercised more.
I really need to keep on top of blogging. I am back to tracking my food again, something i have really slacked on the last couple of weeks. If i dont know the calories in my food, then apparently there must not be any in it, right?? I have also maanged to get in a little exercise this weekend. i walked and partially jogged 2.5 miles on saturday and sunday walked a mile.
So far my calories for the day are 354.
i didnt do this yesterday so i hope I remember.
breaks was my usual bagel and coffee lunch was tuna casserole left overs, had 1 cup of frozen peaches for a snack, and dinner was 1 bowl of Taco soup (pinto beans, kidney beans, corn, lots of tomatoes, chili peppers.) after dinner I had a small glass of egg nog.
Breakfast was a whole grain bagel, coffee with milk
Snack-1cup of peaches
Lunch a lean cuisine panini and a single serving of pringles cheddar cheese flavor
1 granny smith apple with peanut butter
Dinner was homemade chicken fingers(with whole wheat flour) mashed potatoes and broiled veggies(cauliflower, zucchini, carrots, squash and broccoli) I think i went to heavy on the mashed potatoes.
why does food cause me panic attacks? I can remember a few yrs ago when i was working at an office job, if i had forgotten my lunch that day, i would panic all day. Even if i didnt get hungry, i was affraid i would get hungry then not be able to eat. now if i had some cash, it was better becaue we had a snack machine or i could go out for lunch. I can remembr on days that i did pack my lunch, I wouldnt even get hungry but at least i knew it was there. Now my food panic attacks are usually at dinner and resturants. I order things that look like large portions on purpose, I get upset if i think there arent enough fries on the plant. I will actually look at my kids plates to see if they got more fries than me. How sick is that? I worry, that when I am done eating at the resturant, then what if I am still hungry so I order large portions, then of coarse I have to eat it all, I mean its paid for so dont want to waste it right? So now, how do i get off this sick rollercoaster? What messed me up so much? I was never straved as a child even though it seems so by the way I act. I never worried about where my next meal was coming from, always had plenty, so why?? Was there something else I wanted that I never got, something out of my control? I honestly just cant seem to think deep enough to figure it out. Hopefully I dont need to work out my problem. At least i admit there is a problem right??
Breakfast-Natures Own Honey Wheat bagel with a thin layer of Earth Balance spread and light cream cheese, Coffee with a little whole milk(maybe 1/8 cup at the most)
Snack-1 cup strawberries
Lunch-ham and cheese on Arnold Oat Bread. think layer of mayo and mustard, single serving of pringles bar b que chips and bottle of water
Dinner- Tuna casserole with whole grain pasta, tuna and cream of mushroom soup topped with mozzarella cheese and bread crumbs and a Caesar salad made with Romaine lettuce, a few croutons, Kens light Caesar dressing and a little parm cheese
Dinner is always my biggest struggle.
Some people would see that and want to start telling me about it is so wrong to think of my self as worthless. That my weight has no bearing on me as a person. The truth is, it does. My feelings about my weight, my body, all of it, tells everything about me as a person. It keeps me from being happy, it keeps me from certain activites, it keeps me out of photos with my husband and children, I constantly focus on me, but for all the wrong reasons. I worry about my looks, how I dress, what are people thinking when they look at me. For all I know, in reality, no one my be thinking of me at all. Not sure which is a worse thought. If I am so selfish, by thinking about me me me, then I am not thinking of my husband, my children or my home. Those are what should be on my priorty list. not How fat am I? what will i eat, and how much? and the list goes on. I hope I can put this to an end. I do know I need to focus on me, but i need to focus on the good things. My health being #1