So Thanksgiving was a bust. Christmas was a bust. I got to 286 before the holidays. I came back 8 pounds heavier. On Monday I weighed in: 287. Almost a month to lose what I put on in days. That SHOULD be a thought I have when I decide to sit down and eat my weight in sugar, right? Nope.
Yesterday I got word that my mom now has cancer in her pelvis. Multiple spots. Thank God I was already on my walk when I got the call because afterwards I crawled under my blanket and decided to eat myself into oblivion.
I decided a month or so back that I needed motivation to A) meet people since I have lived her almost a year and I know no one, B) get exercising to get healthy, and C) do some kind of service work to get outside of myself.
I joined the 3 day 60 mile walk.
My mom had a double mastectomy in 2011 to remove her cancer ridden breasts and lymph nodes. In 2012 my sister had stage one cancer removed from her ovaries. One of my best friends father died from this disease. My fiance’s father died from cancer. I know so many people whose lives have been affected by cancer. I pray for a future without cancer.
With this lovely news, I ate. I ate a bacon cheeseburger, fries, vanilla shake, pie, cake, chips with bean dip.
I am delusional if I don’t think I am an addict. I am delusional if I think that using drugs is different than using mass quantities of food to dull my ache.
Tell me normal people gain 3 pounds overnight. *sigh*