Ok, so, I am fat. My face is fat, my belly is fat, my legs are fat… I was sitting on the couch here, laptop in my lap, and I almost fell off the couch (cuz I was blown away). My legs are crossed. My knee fits over my other knee. There was no need to pull my leg across the other… I didn’t need to tuck in fat here or there for it to sit correctly… I just picked my one leg up and sat it across the other. Like a BOSS! There was no wiggling needed. It just went.
Just when did that happen?
In other news, I am fighting my grade. My adviser got back to me today. I sent her the emails and my assignments. Another student got in touch with me. She said “he needs to be knocked down a notch of two.” Something needs to happen. I will not let him drag my 3.925 GPA. I am sitting at a B right now. A B in MUSIC!?! In his powertrip, I am fearful I will end up with a C by the end of the course. I am SO OVER gen eds right now I could puke.
My calves are still stiff as hell. Walked two miles yesterday before it started raining and 2 so far today trying to loosen them up. No go yet. I am tired, but a different kind of tired than I am used to. Don’t really know how to explain it. We are headed to Target to buy some more socks. Going to park far away and make it a decent walk to the store. We do this often… Park as far away from the store as we can. It really helps get in a few more steps in the day.
I GORGED myself last night again. I just get these feelings like I am starving and I am going to die if I don’t eat. So after dinner of salmon and chicken with green beans and salad, I ate my cuban leftovers (pork and rice), and I was still sooo hungry I ate a bunch of ice cream (like 4-5 servings), and my stomach still gnawed at me so I ate a bowl of chili that I was cooking for today. Then I felt ok. Not full. Not content. But the ache of hunger went away. I was sure scared to step on the scale today, but I was down like a half of a pound. Those aches have happened to me before. I usually eat cereal when that happens. And I don’t usually find myself up in weight. And every time I think to myself, “I should listen to my body more.”
I spilled chili on my shirt. It looks awful. I don’t care. I will be one of those fat women with stains down her shirt out in public. It was delicious, btw.
Thanks for all the support, ladies!