Wedding Diet Woes (and Wahoos!)

Welcome to my trials and triumphs!

 

Huston, We Have a Problem

With Carbs and sugar, that is. For today:

Cals: 1621 Fat: 63.75 Carbs: 189.75 Fiber: 28.5 Sugar: 102.75 Protein: 71.25, Walked 4 miles.

I can’t even believe how many carbs I eat. The worst part is, I feel like I am STARVING TO DEATH if I do not consume them. For example, I ate bacon today. Bacon isn’t all that good for you but I figured my fat count wasn’t HUGE and it should be fine and it wouldn’t add to my already huge carb count. I ate it. It was delicious. I ate one ounce along with lettuce and tomato on super low cal toast with hummus and a monstrous salad. Still hungry as a mo-fo, I ate another ounce. I was still hungry. Went for a walk, hoping that things would get into the place in my belly that tells my brain I am full… No success.

I got home. I was like, “no carbs no carbs what can I eat with no carbs..” I thought, eggs! So I hard-boiled two eggs. Ate them with some avocado, which has equal amount fiber and carbs. Oh my God, you would think that I hadn’t in a week. My stomach was LIVID.

I gave up. I at a bowl of cereal. And here I sit content. Having PCOS, I know that carbs are such a huge factor in helping me keep weight on but I don’t know what to do when everything inside me is telling me if I don’t eat, and eat right. this. minute, I am going to die.

I usually weigh myself everyday, but I forgot to today. Probably a good thing, because I didn’t poop at all yesterday and the scale would have probably called me fat and I would have found myself back in bed. It just seems so shitty that I work so hard and see such little results. And this struggle is probably one I will have the rest of my life. And I sit and wonder sometimes… Why try?

Sorry to end on such a depressing note, but that’s all I got.

Filed under : Everday Ramblings
By watchingweight4wedding
On March 5, 2013
At 9:14 pm
Comments :
 

1 Comment for this post

 
didibuttonsley Says:

Put your scale away for a while, and try using measurements instead. I have to severely limit my weigh ins to no more than one a month (if that) or I go insane. I put the scale in an upstairs closet so that I can’t see it and be tempted. It has helped.
Maybe next time you really want extra carbs, just have some right away. Perhaps that would have satisfied you and you could have skipped the two eggs and the avocado. It’s strange learning how to listen to our bodies cues and cravings.
Have you read any of Geneen Roth’s books? (Feeding the Hungry Heart, When Food is Love, etc.) They are really great for girls who want to end the diet/ binge cycle.

 

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