With Carbs and sugar, that is. For today:
Cals: 1621 Fat: 63.75 Carbs: 189.75 Fiber: 28.5 Sugar: 102.75 Protein: 71.25, Walked 4 miles.
I can’t even believe how many carbs I eat. The worst part is, I feel like I am STARVING TO DEATH if I do not consume them. For example, I ate bacon today. Bacon isn’t all that good for you but I figured my fat count wasn’t HUGE and it should be fine and it wouldn’t add to my already huge carb count. I ate it. It was delicious. I ate one ounce along with lettuce and tomato on super low cal toast with hummus and a monstrous salad. Still hungry as a mo-fo, I ate another ounce. I was still hungry. Went for a walk, hoping that things would get into the place in my belly that tells my brain I am full… No success.
I got home. I was like, “no carbs no carbs what can I eat with no carbs..” I thought, eggs! So I hard-boiled two eggs. Ate them with some avocado, which has equal amount fiber and carbs. Oh my God, you would think that I hadn’t in a week. My stomach was LIVID.
I gave up. I at a bowl of cereal. And here I sit content. Having PCOS, I know that carbs are such a huge factor in helping me keep weight on but I don’t know what to do when everything inside me is telling me if I don’t eat, and eat right. this. minute, I am going to die.
I usually weigh myself everyday, but I forgot to today. Probably a good thing, because I didn’t poop at all yesterday and the scale would have probably called me fat and I would have found myself back in bed. It just seems so shitty that I work so hard and see such little results. And this struggle is probably one I will have the rest of my life. And I sit and wonder sometimes… Why try?
Sorry to end on such a depressing note, but that’s all I got.