My mom is coming to visit. She is flying down on Wednesday. I am really excited and scared as fuck to see her. She has lost over 20 pounds in a very short period of time. My sister told me that she doesn’t really look sick, which is what I have been pretty much too scared to ask anyone. I want to do all kinds of things with her, but then I remember how tired she gets doing almost nothing. I try to reel it in, but then I get sad again.
I was told the other day that the cancer is now in her bone marrow. I am only 33. I shouldn’t lose my mom in my 30s. Something really sucks here. It is totally not fair. So this is why I haven’t been around much in the past week…
Besides feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, I have been cleaning, organizing, and doing homework like a crazy woman. I wanted to get as much done so I wouldn’t be busy doing it while she was here. I have been pumping out papers and projects like a mad woman. I need to work on my audit project, but it looks like I might have to wait on that. I want to freshen up the guest bathroom and bedroom tomorrow. OH! And give my dog a bath! She STINKS. And I need to go shopping for last minute supplies, like flowers.
I am so excited that H2B’s tantrum tonight is not gunna bring me down. Well, it did, but I am trying to work past it. So much to do, so little time.
I was down a pound this week. A pound is better than none. Especially since I have spent most of my time on the couch doing homework the last week. I could do better, I chose not to right now. I am not in that great of a place. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe next week. When my cancer-ridden momma is gone.
If I drank, I might be having a glass of wine right now.