I’ve been sliding all over the place half of me trying to get my balance back and half of me missing all those unhealthy choices.
I just worked out and did my Turbo Sculpt DVD and got inspiration to write. Haha the last couple weeks have been hell. I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time. Maybe it’s all in my head or simple just the holidays but it’s funny that one day I was still doing AMAZING and being so strict to the next day allowing little splurges. My biggest mistake is probably allowing myself to eat whatever I want all day long on Thanksgiving. I didn’t want to have to worry about it…I didn’t want to have to turn down my favorites so I said to heck with it and stuffed my face all day long. With that came the leftovers though and my aunt sending me home with half a chocolate pie and luckily I didn’t eat all of it but I had a few binges of very very very large spoonfuls of pie. Ever since then I’ve been allowing myself a little extra that, a few too many sips of soda, eating Panda Express for dinner…ya know, things like that.
My food had been the better of the 2 main components of weight loss; eating right and working out. What’s working out again? I actually started working seasonally last week and my feet and especially my knee have been really hurting. So I’ve been lazy and used it as an excuse to skip a few workouts. Last night Ben and I went to work out and my knee felt like it was going to pop in half…we came home 10 mins into our “workout”. SO tonight after decided without second thought about eating a 1115 calorie meal at Panda Express I decided I had to do SOMETHING even if I had to do my Turbo Sculpt and only work out my upper body. I feel good. I’m glad I did it. I got a sweat going and got my heart rate up and am soooo glad I did it!
It may just be complete mental slope I’ve been fighting. 8 weeks into Body for Life I quit and I was completely determined that I was going to be getting to goal then. I let myself down. Subconsciously I’ve been waiting for myself to fail again. I don’t want too…I tell myself I’m not but really I expect nothing more than me failing yet again. BUT let me tell ya…I have noticed ONE difference between me quitting then and me started to slip this time and that’s that I’m here and I recognize that I’m slowly getting back into those old nasty habits and I’m putting a stop to it. Dangit, I’m going to lose this weight!!!!!
The fact that I miss all my favorite fast food restaurants and eating ice cream whenever I please is a different story! I absolutely do miss it…I thought at this point I would never want to touch the stuff again and I know it’s horrible for me but it’s so yummy. I’m quite addicted to food…I love it but I’m just going to have to suffer through and say goodbye! I would have a funeral and bury it but I would eat it all before I got it home to have the funeral. Ehhh… Every day is a struggle but I just need to get 100% committed again and get strict! That happening RIGHT NOW! IM COMMITTED! =) The good news is that I haven’t gained any weight…I’ve lost a couple pounds but I need to get my unbloated self back!
Fitday here I come! Ahhh feels good!