Honesty June 22, 2012
So I feel I need to be honest right now. I’ve really been struggling with old eating disorder habits lately. When I first started WW it completely dissolved my purging issues. I’m thinking because I always ate until comfortable,not full. Well I have been sliding backwards a bit in the last month. I don’t throw up everyday. I don’t over eat everyday. But when I get that full feeling,my mind just can’t handle it. Whether that’s being full on a ton of veggies,or something crappy. It’s not what I eat,it’s how full I feel. Feeling full is the trigger. So I need to go back to the beginning and watch my portions,no matter if it’s healthy,or bad food. Like I said,it’s not a daily occurance. But certainly a weekly one. I’m not sure what has caused this backslide. Stress maybe? I dunno. I was doing so well,and thought I had beat that part of my life. But,apparently it can creep back. I KNOW logically that purging helps me nothing. Any weight I have ever lost in my entire life,has been from eating healthy. Puking does not give me any results at all. It never has. It just slows down my metabolism,and brings my weightloss to a halt. I need to trust the WW program,count points,and be mindful of how full I feel. It’s so crazy how I logically know all this stuff. But once that full feeling hits,all logic goes out the window. I need to stop! I will stop now! No more!