the unskinny girl

last week,i was feeling so confident about myself and my weightloss. I felt lighter… 21 lbs lighter. today… I do NOT feel like i’ve lost an ounce. I guess im having a “fat day” i didn’t eat very well this weekend,so,that probably has alot to do with how im feeling. I ate waffles for breakfast and pizza for supper yesterday…. not exactly a diet friendly day. actually,i’ve kinda been slacking for the past week. im still very mindful of what im eating and i do my best to control portions. I am not expecting much of a loss this week at weigh in. although i think that alot and i still see results. but i think my last weekend eating and this weekends eating will catch up with me at weigh in this week. to be honest,i think i would benefit from a weight gain. i’ve lost weight despite not staying on plan exactly. I think a gain would give me a push to starting tracking and adding up points again. oh well… we shall see tomorrow how much i’ve gained or lost!

normally people make excuses for themselves when they GAIN weight. I make excuses for when i LOSE weight. its like i don’t believe its possible. every week at weigh in, i see the scale go down. I ALWAYS think to myself,well,im only 3 pounds down,its probably cause i didn’t eat before weigh in. or… maybe im wearing different clothes this time. I know this is ridiculous as the scale goes down every week. down 21 pounds. but,every week i make excuses about my weightloss. I do that with the way my clothes fit as well. my jeans are getting a little looser. do i get excited about this? no. I think,well they probably just stretched,or they need to be washed. it seems,I just can’t accept my weightloss. I guess its been so long since i’ve had ACTUAL success that i just don’t believe it. I don’t know. I hope i can change this way of thinking. I want to proud of myself,instead of making excuses.

so i had my weight watchers weigh in today. im down another 3.6 pounds. that is 21 pounds down in less than two months. thats so crazy. I still don’t notice any physical changes in myself. but i also have alot of weight to lose. I carry ALL my weight in my belly. the only place i can kinda notice a difference is in my legs. which is ridiculous since my legs are normal size. I don’t NEED to lose weight there. its a little frustrating. but in time i will see a difference in my belly! my wedding is in 3 weeks,and im really getting nervous about whether im gonna still fit into my dress. just because im not seeing results in myself,doesn’t mean my dress will still fit properly. im hopefully going in for a fitting this week,or next! hopefully my dress fits. I don’t want to stop losing weight just because i want my dress to fit! so i guess i just continue on with my weight loss efforts,and hope my dress still fits me come the end of november!