Going to Lose: My Weightloss Journey!

weighed in this morning at 198..obviously im sad I gained 3 pounds from my last weigh in…but im relieved im still in wonderland.  goal for next friday’s weigh-in is 194/5..which is definitely doable for me if I stay on track… also, this summer my lowest was 184..I need to get back there ASAP..

brunch: 1 chocolate bagel with nf creamcheese, 1 small nf latte.

snack: 1 medium cup of coffee with a splash of non fat milk.

snack 2: 2 mandarin oranges (70)

went to a bball game…so all of my food has still been disjointed

snacks throughout the afternoon: small cup of cereal and milk, 1 small banana chocolate chip muffin..1 enchilada..

its sad how my coffee tastes have changed to where i used to need a lot of milk, splenda, vanilla, etc etc, and now i can basically drink it black…ohhh how i am caffeine dependent….sadness…and only at 22.

will weigh myself tomorrow/saturday as a punishment!

brunch: some hashbrowns and ketchup, 1 sausage patty, 1 waffle, watermelone, 1 dove chocolate heart.

post gym snack: 1 apple with almond butter, small bowl of cereal (honey bunches) and nf milk

dinner: thai noodles with tofu

oopsies: 2 cookies and a brownies..shit..

Workout: rode bike to and from gym, 33 min elliptical, 30 min weights and abs.

water: 4 bottles total..

breakfast: yogurt (80) and an orange (35)-115

midmorn snack:1/2 cup of milk (45) and some golean crunch (100)-145

lunch: some salad (150), whole grain pilaf (150), and some tofu (100)-400-i ate more at lunch than I had anticipated and now feel a little too full.  I really need to STOP going back for seconds and make a rule that whatever I put on my plate is all that I am allowed to eat.. anyways, no more food until dinner.. except a cup of coffee at work this afternoon.

dinner: some indian food: chicken, rice and naan

after gym snack: apple and some almond butter…ughhh and some nibbling i shouldnt have done…argh..i know

I just need to tell myself RIGHT NOW that I am not allowed any Seconds at dinner..whatever I put on my plate at first is all I get..i definitely do not need seconds.

water: 5–drank 5, missed 1, oh well

gym: 47 min elliptical, 20 min weights and abs…gym again tomorrow! woohoo, love having a gym buddy

breakfast: yogurt (80)

lunch: salad  (150), 2 small slices of beef (150?), and a bite of frittata that was not yummy (50)- 350

snack: small nf latte (110)

dinner: some chicken (100), tofu (75), and some potatoes (100), and small bit of chocolate pudding (100?)-375

Snack: some crispy snapeas (looked them up online after i bought them..not as healthy as i thought..will definitely keep that in mind) (150), and an orange (35), plus a couple bites of miscellaneous snacks (100)-285

Total so far: 1200-done for today + got enough water, but no gym..will be going to the gym tomorrow!

I have not cheated/gone off plan/eaten crap at all today and that self control feels SO good. i need to remember how much better I feel mentally and physically when I dont eat crappy foods or things that are off plan.

Go me!

Breakfast: yogurt (80), and cheerios (150)-230

Snack: 1 cup of coffee with 1 coffeemate thing-40?

Lunch: 1 piece of ww bread with turkey and lettuce, some mac and cheese, 3 small slices of watermelon

dinner: some tofu, spinach and corn, some peach cobbler w/ whipped cream (oops…i lost my self control..anyone know where it went?)…and a reese’s pb cup..ugh oops

after gym snack: some mac and cheese, pb m&ms and an apples–way off plan

5 bottles of water down, 1 to go.

gym: 35 min elliptical, 30 min weights and abs

while I am doing well on the going to the gym everyday front, im not doing so well on the food control front. yikes. going to have to think and dig deeply about self control, and why i dont have it. advice anyone? and the “dont keep it in the house” doesnt work–i live in a house with 55 people and the kitchen is stocked with a variety of things…so i cant pick what’s there..only what i eat.

ultimately, today was terrible food wise. i snacked too much, ate too much macaroni and cheese, and too much candy/chocolate. tomorrow is a new day but i need to constantly remind myself why I am doing this, and what my goals are…both longterm and short term.

for now, i need to remind myself than i would love to be no more than 195 on friday and fit into size 12 pants for spring break!

i need to overcome all food temptations and remain strong–however hard it may be..

ive also just realized that even if they are estimations, it is important to put calories down so that subconciously i keep my food intake within a certain range…i now realize after my terrible eating today, that having a general calorie range and knowing how much i have left, etc keeps me in check throughout the day. not have a calorie range is a shit show…now i know for tomorrow to generally/accurately estimate my calories so that I stick clearly within range am am concious of everything that i put in my mouth..

i went through and clicked on my blogroll list, and so many of my blogger chick friends are gone…i guess they stopped updating their blogs, so they got deleted…thats so depressing to me…I hope they’re doing okay…i suppose i could think it’s an accomplishment that I’m still here…but man, that made me sad.

ALSO, anyone know where tylerdurden/josephine went?! she deleted her blog…

glad so many of you are still here! i dont know what id do without you! <3

ok, ive been failing. i realize now (obviously) that if I dont blog daily, read your blogs, write comments and read all of yours, that I just cant/do not stay on track. For some reason, my inner psyche takes my not blogging as a free pass to eat wrecklessly and and not care and eat shit like cookies and cheetos, and too much cheese and carbs, and not enough fruits, veggies and good proteins. so, obviously im back to blogging. one good thing i have going for me is that i have a gym partner and i went to the gym tonight…but obviously the gym doesnt matter if I’m constantly eating shit.

so, starting tomorrow I’m back to bloggin about EVERYTHING i eat…calorie counting at this point is still not very important because it’s just too hard to do, but I need to write down/blog EVERYTHING i eat, from every bit of cheese, tortilla chips, m&ms, apples, candy etc that go through my mouth–even if it’s a bite. and back to blogging my gym stuff too…when I’m completely on track, motivated and focused to eat well, I can be so disciplined…btu when I dont think about it or focus on it…its kind of a shit show…so time to get back on track.

next official weigh in is on Friday. Hoping for okay results then. I’ve got 3 days to work on it seriously..

Also, my next mini goal is to get to 179 asap. also, id love to fit into one of my size 12 pants by spring break (march 19) which is 4 weeks away. it’s highly doubtful I’ll actually reach that..but I feel like if I’m highly disciplined…i could get there..or get close. SO ya…thats the most important goal right now which is size 12 pants by then…aka 2lb loss per week and even then it will be a stretch.

ok full on blogging tomorrow!

xo

travelgal

went on the date yesterday. it was good. the guy really likes me. im not sure how much i really like him. we have a lot in common and have a lot to talk about…but i need a guy who offers push back, challenges my opinions and has a great deal of ambition..not sure if this is it. not sure if i should go on the 2nd date or not. he tried to ask me out this weekend, but i white lied and said i was busy…im busy, but not the WHOLE weekend. he has a mediocre job, and still lives at home…im superficial, i know, and those things are not SUPER appealing to me…

still been talking to the other guy but i may end up seeing him in march…

i ate pretty well last week and weekend, and then blew it last night and today once i realized i wasnt super enamored with the guy on the date… but definitely not a good reason to blow my self control..

back onto full food plan and gym tomorrow.

advice on guys?

thanks!

also (originally written in my private journal):

i did not realize that not knowing what i want would lead to so many problems.

also, how much superficiality is valid? how much can you fault people for certain things?

cant really drink wine before cuz it’s 3:30 in the afternoon and at a coffee place.

im so nervous. i wish i could grow some balls. i guess the truth is, that worst comes to worst he doesnt like me/ i dont like him. so what i guess.

i guess it will be good practice,but really i hope it goes well.

any last minute advice or tips? do you hug or shake hands or do nothing when you initially meet? (we’ve talked a lot on line..)

HELP and send good date vibes!

hello all!

im currently up in seattle visiting some friends which is great. ive also been working out in the mornings with my friend and only eating basically 2 meals and not snacking since we’ve been so busy with is great. maybe i will have lost 20 lbs by tuesday…not. but at least i dont think i gained ANYTHING and my jeans are pretty loose.

also, im so nervous about this date that i think there’s like a 30% that ill just cancel monday night because im soo scared to go through with it hahaha. yikes!