Going to Lose: My Weightloss Journey!

well, even though I thought I did well yesterday, apparently my weekend wasnt as on track as I had thought since the scale was OF COURSE UP this morning, which obviously was such a bummer.

so i decided to lay out a pair of size 12 jeans (new that i bought!) on my bed, and they will stay there UNTIL i fit in them!

food today:

lunch: salad (220) and some soup (55)-275

Snack: one butterscoth candy with coffee in it (25) and an apple (70)-95

Dinner: wild rice pilaf (125), tiny pit of potatoes au gratin (190), small piece of bread (120), ground turkey (170), fun size peanut butter m&ms (100), fruit (70)- 775

total so far: 1145–>DONE except maybe one piece of fruit tonight.

workout: 45 min on the treadmill, 15ish min tiny bit of weights and abs.

Trying to do the perfect sunday food day, so!

Lunch: nf sk vanilla latte (100), 6 egg whites (100), spinach (20), 3 slices of turkey (45), tiny bit of cheese (40), 1 slice of bread (100)-total: 405

Snack: 2 chocolate chip cookies (fresh baked and homemade!) (200?), some bread and cheese (200?)-400

Dinner: grilled polenta and roasted veggies with a red pepper sauce (350)

Snack: some hot cocoa (120)

Total: 1275–done. No workout today. Trying to do perfect day again tomorrow but with a workout!

I love doing perfect day, and I think it works!

as much as I am happy that im posting again, i’m still doing something very wrong. I have no self control. i have GREAT self control until dinner time, and then from dinner time onward I eat not the best dinner and then munch and snack on so much food throughout the evening, it’s getting out of control. ugh.  tomorrow when I weigh in, I’m pretty sure I will have gained 3 lbs from last weeks weigh in, as I edge closer and closer back up towards 190, which is really scary.  I really wanted to be at 186 tomorrow, which definitely wont be happening.

so, today, I’m going to try to do what SistahPat sometimes does, and tries to do a “perfect day”.  Well, already my day wasnt perfect because I barely got 5 hours of sleep and i’m TIRED, but my goal is to get 8 hours tonight, and I should still focus on other things to have a perfect day.

So today, I’m going to only eat the food I plan out, and try not to eat more than 1200-1300 calories. that also includes only having one planned healthy snack after lunch and one small snack after dinner, not constant grazing until bedtime.  it also includes lots and lots of water consumption.  it also includes a full weights and abs and cardio workout.  and NO SNACKING, especially no chocolate, chips, massive amounts of carbs etc etc. ugh, i cannot get into the 190s. i must get back to the the low 180s and then out of here.

I can do this! I cant slip away. i cant believe i gained 3 lbs this week. that’s offensive. I have to start reversing that RIGHT now and cant let the end of the week and weekend be gaining times, I’ve got to work on losing consistently, or it’ll get out of control.

Breakfast: sf redbull (10), and yogurt (100)-110

lunch: big salad (130), tomato soup (120?) and a couple bites of ravioli (60)- 310

snack: apple (70)

Dinner: some salad (200), small piece of chicken (110), some whole wheat pasta (300), some chocolate cakes (100)-710

Snack: some pretzels (80) and a few other munchies (30)-110

Total: 1310

yayyyay !

no gym today, but a full gym workout tomorrow!!

breakfast: string cheese (80), apple sauce (50), nonfat latte (100)- 230

lunch: large salad (110), spaghetti (240)-350

total so far: 580, appx left: 620

left today:

snack: apple (70)

Dinner: (400)

Snack: (200)

Going to work for a bit, then to the gym to do some cardio, and yogalates!

woohoo!

So, I took a couple minutes away from doing the work I had and I read some of the recent entries of some of my near & dear bloggy friends and if I could call anything an Ah-Ha moment, that was it!

I WANT BACK IN THE LOSER’S CLUB!

I want to be updating my ticker weekly! I want to NOT BE OBESE ANYMORE! I want to be in the 170s! I want to fit in my FOUR fricking pairs of size 12 pants that I bought! I want to be able to run a 5k without stopping. I want to feel entirely comfortable and happy in my body and in my clothes.

Sure, I’m thrilled to be in a size 14 and in Onderland, but I cannot get complacent. This is great, but i KNOW i can do better.

I really need to pick my foods and portions carefully. I need to watch the alcohol. I need to fully realize that I cannot eat the way my skinny friends do. I need to make weightloss, healthy eating, and exercise my top priority.  I have no excuses. I have willpower. I have a free gym at my disposal.

I CAN DO THIS, but of course, I’d love all the support I can get from you all.

Also, I want to apologize for my flakeyness on this blog, and in our blogger friendships and communications since August.  It isnt fair of me to be an active member of the blog community, and then just drop out the next second.  Life has truly been really hectic, but I need you all and your support and expertise, and I truly am sorry that I was flakey and careless both with myself, and with you all and our correspondence.

I’M BACK and dont be afraid to hold me accountable.

Xox

Travelgal

i want to be on track today, so im posting even though I havent eaten anything yet.

doing day 3 of week 6 c25k today. hopefully that’ll go well! didnt eat really well this weekend, so i’ve got to work on that, as well as the weeks, but my goal is to post everyday this week including the weekend. but i got a great nights sleep so that puts me in an excellent mood.

YAY

breakfast: pretzels (120) and some cream cheese (100) and 2 starbursts (40), -260

lunch: 1 piece of whole wheat bread ( 70), turkey (40), a big salad (200), and some yogurt (35)- 345

Snack: Special K Bar (90)

Dinner: Some chinese food (im gonna say 600ish?)

Snack: some crackers, brie and turkey, apple sauce and an apple (too much)

So as you all can see, as can I, Dinner onwards is my main issue.  I can really control breakfast and lunch and the afternoon snack, but Dinner and the night time munchies/snacks are really messing me up. I’m really going to have to concentrate on all of that because, once again the scale has moved back up to 188. UGHHHH i just want to be at 179!!!!!!!!!!!! this is never going to happen.

workout: 45 min treadmill (3 miles), although day 3 week 6 c25k just didnt happen, jogging 25 miles just seemed impossible today. 15 min weights and abs

i want my workout and eating and self control mojo back. WHERE DID YOU GO, MOJO?

i want to be in my size 12 jeannnnns!

back tomorrow, im puushing through whether I like it ot not.

last night after my mopey post, i decided to threaten myself with “if you dont start tracking your food, exercising more, and losing weight, you have to go to weight watchers, because obviously i cant motivate myself”, and that really motivated me, because i know I can do this on my own and dont need weight watchers or point counting.

so i rearranged my schedule today so that i have enough time to go to the gym before yogalates and do day 2 week 6 of c25k, and then go to yogalates.  i’ve realized I do need to prioritize things and weight loss is pretty much at the top of my list, so eating right, exercising and blogging need to be my top priorities.

so food today:

breakfast: yogurt (80), healthy heart cereal (75), coffee with lf milk (50?ish), and sm nonfat latte (100)- 305

Lunch: salad (120), veggie burger (140), few tator tots (85), ketchup (40)- 385

Snack: nectarine (70) and some chocolate covered almonds (130)-200

Dinne: salad (60), 1 cheese enchilada (200), some rice (70), some grapes (80)-410

total so far: 1300- hopefully done soon

Workout: 45 min jogging, day 2 week 6 of c25k, and then yogalates AND IT FELT SO GOOD AND MADE ME SOOOO HAPPY!!!! yayaya im back!

So, I didnt have an ah-ha moment really, but the threat of weight watchers did me in, and I’m back on track! WOOHOO

i clearly didnt have an ah-ha moment. nothing in my behavior has changed. im not getting enough sleep, im not exhibiting enough/much self control, i dont go to the gym nearly as much or as long as I used to, my schedule/life is so hectic, and I’m not losing any weight. im definitely not binging or gaining (im at like 187 right now), but as much as i REALLY want to fit into my size 12 jeans, I cant get myself to do what I used to.

i want to get back on track

i want to get back to being a gym rat

i want to get back to saying no to sweets and carbs and chips

i want to get back to jogging for 30 minutes without stopping

i want to be able to lift like I used to

but i’ve lost it, and I really dont know how to get it back.

help.

I had the best ah-ha moment that i think I’ll in a while yesterday, but I’ll talk about it more later, cuz im kind of in a rush now.

breakfast: neufchatel cheese (70), 1/2 choc chip bagel (160ish)- 230

lunch: salad (130), a couple raviolli (200), some bulgar and veggies (80), and some grapes (70)-total: 480

Snack: plum (40)

Total so far: 750  appx left: 450

well, whatever I had earlier this year, that helped me lose 40 lbs, well i lost it. i have no self control whatsoever.  now i have 4 pairs of size 12 pants that i cant fit into, and im still eating everything as if im skinny and have the metabolism of a gazelle.

i dont even know what i’m going to do. im dissapointed in myself, but that hasnt kept me from eating all of this junk and munching so much at night.

i need a new ah-ha moment..