Trying to get the feeling again…

I am so tired.  I think I could sleep all day but there are dishes to do, clothes to wash, beds to make, and floors to clean.  Does it ever end?  I need a vacation and yes!  we are finally taking one at the end of April.  Hubby has not been on one in forever.  I don’t think he needs it.  But I do.  We have gone on little trips for 3 or 4 days at a time but Las Vegas and Disneyland are not relaxing destinations.

I have a sore throat today and my nose is stuffy.  We went to an Indian casino with my daughter and her husband yesterday.  I had never been and Kevin had only been one time.  The smoke killed me.  Never again.  I like Lake Tahoe because there is a smoke free casino there and they keep the doors open.  Plus, it is Tahoe and it is beautiful!  I am not much of a gambler but a woman at a machine next to me won $2600 dollars on the penny machine.  It’s not really much of a penny machine because to play it so you can win, it costs $1.50  but I am sure most people are not as anal as I do and figure out how much it really costs to play before they actually do.  Kevin and I came home before the kids and I made grilled cheese sandwiches and oven fries.  Very good.  And not too bad for us.

Today is another day and next week we start Weight Watchers ((WW) again.  We have kept up our memberships and are ready to go back.  I am up about 12 pounds.  I don’t know about the rest but at least I am smaller then I was at this time last year! Finally.  We are all getting geared up to go and actually looking forward to it.  You can only eat all you want for awhile before you realize that it feels better to splurge once in awhile instead of everyday.

Happy Sunday to all of you and may you have a blessed and wonderful week.

Hugs

After clicking around and finally leaving a pathetic plea for Ann to help me, I figured out how to leave a post.  My fault, I know.  That’s what I get for being gone.  A new site and some frustration to go along with it.  What have I been up to? I have no idea but it seems my time alone keeps getting sucked away from me.  I need my alone time to be able to sit and read and write on this blog but the time suckers come and wisk me away to a strange and not so exciting land.  I feel like I am living Groundhog day everyday and not getting a dang thing done.  If you have not seen the movie, Groundhog Day, rent it.  It’s funny and I think we all get stuck in it from time to time…

Still married.  Life is good.  Holdiays went well.  My mom was only mildly annoying only because she is not allowed to be totally annoying.  Hubby is working his butt off.  Lots of overtime but that’s okay.  He is taking care of me, his wife and I can tell he likes it.  I still have no teaching job.  There are none.  But I am hoping with the new administration coming in and maybe if Arnold pulls his head out, I can have a job next school year.  I really want my own classroom and kids.   Oh well, right now I am finishing a huge paper, did I say HUGE paper that is due January 21 so I can file for all of my credentials.  I am thinking of taking one more class so I can have another credential because having three is not enough.  How about 4 credentials and no job.  If I don’t have a job next year, I will take the Masters courses and have a Masters degree, 4 credentials and no job.  LOL!  Oh well.  I do write a mean paper.  I can whip one out like it’s nobody’s  business.   But money would be nice.  My money would just be extra and I have so many things I could do with extra money.  My favorite thing is to pay off bills so there are none.  I think it’s the Libra in me or it’s the being a single mom for 16 years in me.  Not sure.  Whatever the blame is, I love to be debt free.

I have missed you all more than you can imagine.  You have been in my thoughts and I have wondered how you all are.  I was so hoping my blog would not be gone and I were forgotten when I logged on today.   That is the adoptee in me - thinking it is so easy to be discarded and given away.  You all proved me wrong and I thank you for that.

I hope 2009 brings us all the happiness we deserve and takes the burdens off our backs that are bogging us down.

With love, Bobbie

I promise to never take off like that again. I just logged on after missing in action and found all these notes of love and that you missed me. I have missed you too. It has been a hectic time. Never again will I get married and never again will I try to plan it in a few weeks time. But enough about me (for now-lol!) What have you all been up to? I will spend the next few days catching up and commenting on your pages. Thank you for your love and friendship. You all are so fabulous.

Here is the link to the newspaper article that was written about Kevin and his sister’s reunion and our surprise wedding.

http://www.modbee.com/columnists/jardine/story/367478.html

Big hugs to all of you, Bobbie

Hi Everyone

Thanks for your concern, love, good wishes, and great vibes.  Trust me, I could feel them.  You are all the best!

After much consideration and lots of begging for the last couple of years on his part, BF and I have decided to get married.  YIKES!  What in the hell am I waiting for?  For my old boyfriend who treated me like shit to come back to me?   I don’t know but I decided that BF is not such a bad catch after all and he really does love me.  Is he perfect, NOPE!  But I am not either.  We are going to have a small ceremony on July 18th when his birthsister is here visiting from Boston.  She doesn’t know yet.  We will tell her when she gets here.  We found her 4 years ago and she is a treasure.

I will write more later.  I have missed you all.  Thank you for always thinking of me.

I have had a fever since Monday.  I thought I didn’t feel well Monday so when I got home, finally, I took my temperature.  It was 101.  Yesterday I went into student teaching and had to leave at noon.  I was miserable and freezing to death.  Fever 103.  I stayed home today.  Today after Tylenol  it’s 100.  I can’t remember the last time I had a fever and it sucks.  I took a tepid shower.  I feel like crap.  I am popping the Tylenol every 6 hours.  I hope my liver forgives me.  I have a doctor’s appointment on Friday so if I am not better by then, he can help me out.  I am drinking Gatorade to stay hydrated.  My biggest worry is not eating enough and getting light headed.   I seriously wanted to call my mom and have her come over and take care of me.  What can she do?  I don’t know.  But I feel so horrible.  BF is trying.  He has waited on my hand and foot and sat outside the shower.  I just wanted to whine.  Now I will go back to bed.  BLAH!

I swear the weekend goes by much too fast!   Although the weeks seem to be zooming by too!  I did go shopping a little bit yesterday.  I needed a couple of cool cotton shirts - it’s starting to warm up here in Northern California.  I did not have to go the large women area to buy my clothes!  No more 1x  (what the hell kind of size is that anyway?)  YEAH!  I bought one top that was XL and one that was L.  I was very happy about this.  I also was able to fit into my Liz Claiborne size 14 skirt I bought on sale a couple of years ago without trying it on and have never been able to wear it.   It was a good feeling.  I try not to get bogged down by how much weight I still have to use because that is depressing.  Instead I think about what I have lost and feel good about it.  I noticed my feet don’t hurt anymore.  Poor feet used to to ache by the end of the day.  The little over forty pounds I have lost I am sure has helped. 

I am going to go and read yesterday’s paper.  I read today’s and Friday’s.  Now to find out what happened yesterday…

 Last week was stupid busy and I am glad it’s over.  We went to see Ironman yesterday.  It was good.  I ate some popcorn with butter.  It was good but I didn’t need to eat a whole lot to be satisfied.  That was a good thing. 

Good night my fair ladies.  Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite!

Hey Chicks

Thanks for the advice.  I post here to hear what you have to say.  Not to have you blow smoke up my arse.  LOL!  I appreciate the honest comments about my BF and my friend AA.  The truth hurts sometimes but life hurts too.  I plan to wear a crash helmet during the second half as to not get as beat up as I did during the first half of my life.  I am middle aged although I don’t feel like it! 

I will wait and see what BF does in July when the promotion is supposed to go through.  And hey chicks, just because you are not in a realtionship right this very second doesn’t mean you don’t have life experience!  So, cut yourselves some slack and know that I appreciate your experiences.  Your experiences mean something to me.  I have a lot to chew on and think about.  You can help me chew, if you don’t mind…

I just don’t know at this point if it’s the men or me.  I had a BF tell me a long time ago that I expected too much from people and people are not me with my drive and ambition.  I don’t really think I am that ambitious.  I just don’t want to live my life like it’s Groundhog Day - the same thing every day!  I like to have things to look forward to and like to set goals.  I love to plan vacations.  Gives me something to look forward to.  I am excited about losing weight because I haven’t been thin in over 5 years.  Although it does suck to lose 40 pounds and still be fat.  But that is my fault.  I can’t even remember what those damn donuts tasted like! 

Went to the Asparagus Festival this past weekend.  Ate fried asparagus.  YUMMY! Split and order with the family so I only had two spears.  They were damn yummy and I am not going to fry me up some asparagus at home so this was a total treat.  Nope, I did not sweat the points or anything else.  Although I am hoping to hit 40 pound weight loss this week.  I may have to cut my head off to reach that goal!  LOL!

 Thank you my dear chicks.  You are all wondeful people and I am a lucky chick to have you guys watching my back. 

 With love!

Last weekend was an experience and I don’t think I can do it again.  I have a friend, whom I will call AA.  AA and I went to Paso Robles and Grover Beach to visit friends.  We went to Paso to help a friend with an Earth Day event.  I have been sick but I wanted to be a good friend so I went anyway.  OHMYGOD!  I have been friends with AA for over 25 years and know back in my mind that she drinks like a sailor.  Now she has added pot smoking to her list of bad habits.  She is a college educated woman and has had her own insurance business for 15 years yet she parties like a 21 year old college student.  I spent the entire weekend babysitting her as she drank like a fish.  She did not help out her friend with the Earth Day event.  I ended up doing everything.  She got drunk and stoned all weekend.  It was exhausting.  Her husband has not been a good husband to her, long story but I am beginning to think that maybe he is tired of taking care of his wife.  But he drinks (has threee DUI’s - one his sister was killed) and smokes pot.  I don’t get it. 

I decided I love AA but cannot be a caretaker for her again.  It is too much.   I don’t let her drive when we are together.  I don’t know what else to do. It is sad. 

I did not student teach last monday and tuesday.  I needed to stay home and take care of ME!  Shock of the century.  I slept alot and plan on sleeping more.  I am just tired and I know it is my fault.  I have taken on too much and have not been taking care of me.  I am still wangling for a vacation although BF just told me he is thinking of NOT taking a promotion at work that will pay him $3500 a month more.  Some bullshit about them not giving him a car.  I don’t believe it.  His boss is dying to promote him.  He also told me he is thinking about switching back to swing shift because of the commute.  WHATEVER!  These choices benefit him ONLY.  Swing shift schedule means we only see each other three times a week.  But it is less work for him bc everyone goes home at 5.  Not taking the promotion means less work for him and doing the same job he has been doing for 18 years.  I get tired of being the only person in my relationships with any ambition.  Is it me or is it the men?  I have a lot of friends whose husbands or boyfriends are the same.  Hell, some of their men don’t work at all!  Maybe it’s California.  I don’t know.  I just know I feel disappointed.  Oh well, it is not the first time.  I want to be able to have weekends off together and do things like normal couples do.  Not have him work all weekend and me be alone.  Sure, he gets off of work on Saturday and home by 4:30.  He has to be back to work the next afternoon by 1:30 so it is not like we can go anywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Well, I have said my piece, he knows how I feel.  I asked him to take the promotion because it would mean weekends off.  FINALLY! But it doesn’t look like it will happen.  He doesn’t have to give a definitive answer until June.  So —-  I will have to wait! 

On WW weigh in day, I lost 4.6 pounds.  It was about time.  I hit a plateau big time and I am not sure how much past it I am.  But I will continue to chug along because I know eventually I will fall off that plateau and back in the game again.