Well, today started out really well.  It’s a tough diet these first four days.  The ladies at my center call it “the four days of misery.”  Basically what’s so hard about it is I have to eat a TON of vegetables.  Dinner is the worst where I have to have 8 oz. of salad veggies (lettuce, broccolli, cucumber, etc.) and 4 oz. of cooked veggies.  Have you ever seen 8 oz. of lettuce?!?  It’s like a bag and a half of the prewashed stuff.  So, it’s a good idea to weigh it down with some cucumber, but I really don’t like them.

Anyway, I did a stellar job of following the plan all through dinner.  I even choked down the cucumber.  Then what did I do?  I come home and decide that I’m hungry (I really was), so I decided to “make my husband’s lunch for tomorrow.”  I ate probably a serving of pringles and a little taste of cheesecake filling.  Overall, the calories aren’t that bad, but I’m just angry with myself for doing it.  I didn’t need those pringles– it was more just because they were there.  By that point I had already had whar I was allowed to have, so hunger wasn’t the real issue. 

The more I see of my backsliding or return to old behavior patterns, the more I’m convinced that I really am addicted to food.  There’s no other explanation for my total lack of self control.  Yes, I’m tired of being so restricted and being on a diet for so long, but why can’t I just make myself stick to the plan, get the weight off, and then incorporate more foods in moderation.  That seems to be the diet buzzword, and none of us would be in our present situations if we could do that.  That’s why I really believe this is an addiction. 

That said, tomorrow I will do better.  Today at least I made a food plan for the rest of the week and prepped all my veggies and meat, etc. so i can just grab and go (schedule is still really hectic this week with school).  That took about two hours (since I don’t have a kitchen due to the remodel), but it was well worth it because I know if I hadn’t done that, I would have totally failed this week, and that’s not going to happen this time around.  Tomorrow I’m going to just not linger in the family room (our “kitchen” right now) around my husband’s snacks but instead go staight up the bedroom to work on homework.

MRC weight :  171– this is down 1/2 lb. from Friday, don’t ask me how.  At least I didn’t gain due to the baby shower incident.  I’m going to get right back on plan tomorrow, and I should be able to do things almost perfectly until my next WI, so hopefully I’ll show another big loss.