Okay, so I didn’t blog last night because I utterly did not want to think about what I had done.  So, here it is:

Saturday 10/25/08

Breakfast: cheese toast, hardboiled egg white, HNS

Lunch: was going to eat a bar, but I ate breakfast too late because I slept in, then I got busy with costumes, and I didn’t end up eating anything

Snacks at party:  We were supposed to eat dinner (of course, I had planned not to eat at all because in theory I would have just had a bar before we left), but all they had were desserts and snacky stuff.  I persevered and because I was hungry, I ate a handful of tortilla chips with about 2 Tbsp. of bean/cheese dip, then some pretzels and popcorn, and one bite of apple pie– avoided all the other desserts completely, and believe me, it was a struggle because there were a lot of really good looking ones!

Dinner:  Since all of us were hungry due to lack of real food, Jeff and Jocelyn had us over for pizza, and I just lost it.  I think it was the combination of genuine hunger, disappointment at myself from yesterday, and the all or nothing mentality, so here’s what happened:

3.5 pieces of little caesar’s pepperoni pizza (large pizza), and I would have totally eaten dessert if there had been any, but thankfully there wasn’t!  Oh, but I didn’t eat the crust, lol.

weight this morning:  191.5

So, I’m going up, but I think I’m holding water because my wedding ring is tight, and it’s been so loose lately that I was contemplating getting it resized.  Anyhow, I am happy to say that I’m back on track today and that things have been going very well.  Good breakfast, good lunch, and I don’t foresee any obstacles for dinner since it’s at home.  Tomorrow I’m going to start the meta quick where I just have a shake for breakfast, a bar for lunch, and a (normal diet) dinner.  I’m actually looking forward to it.  I like convenience and speed since I”m so busy, so I just hope I don’t get crazy hungry on it since it does severely limit calories.  With HNS, it’s about 260 for breakfast, 210 for lunch, and then whatever dinner is, usually less than 300, so that’s only 770 for  the day– we’ll see if I can make it.  In any case, I think it would be good for me to get back on track and not be tempted to make further mistakes.  I feel like I’ve already started back on track today,  but it can’t hurt to use it to help regain control.

Oddly enough, I’ve been on this diet for about 3 months now, and this is the first full blown major loss of control moment/couple of days that I’ve had.  I have, of course, eaten off plan a couple minor times when there weren’t options, but I could  have avoided these.  Still, making it 3 months is not too bad– that’s longer than I can make it most of the time.