But man am I still cranky and gloomy. I am doing a good job of hiding it though I think.

I seem to have finally got my butt in motion and am off the couch on my way to the 5k. I found a hiking trail about 12 minutes from my home that is only lightly used, which means I can usually let the dog run. Here’s my starting point - if I maintained my current pace I’d finish a marathon in 7 hours.  (As if.)

I am absolutely horrified by how I look in pictures. And to make it worse, I am interviewed by tv all the time in this job.  I just look pale and ill and bloated.  So either I make changes or I start wearing muumuus.

Off to yoga, even though I don’t want to go.  I feel like a whiny child who doesn’t want to do anything.

Sigh.  Sorry, not much fun to be around these days.

That is all.

However, today I went for a long walk. It is a very crisp bright winter day with about 3 feet of new snow everywhere. And I just made a big pot of veggie soup to contribute to the lunch menus this week.

So for Feb they ate well, didn’t drink and got outside as much as possible.  Every year since, I have thought about it but never actually followed through. This year I am following through, to shake off that grey feeling of winter lethargy and get ready for spring.  I am not expecting to travel nor to have company for the next few weeks, so this is a good opportunity to relax into it.  I will say upfront I am probably not going to give up coffee, I mean, there are limits.

Today I am working a 12 hour day so I ran home at lunchtime to walk the dog. It’s just not fair to leave him alone for 12 hours. It is a sunny day, although cold, so we both enjoyed the 15 minute romp around the neighbourhood. And finally (almost 3 months in) I found out where my mail is going. There’s a community mailbox - well, actually several of them - in the subdivision and I didn’t know where my little box was. Yesterday I just picked up the phone and called for the location and voila, I now have mail. I think I was probably worrying people by frequently randomly testing my key every time I walked by.

This is turning into a pretty good week, if I disregard the new pile of ironing. And I am.

It has been a hectic few months and it is not going to get any easier, I think. I am still organizing my new house and my plans keep getting derailed. Mostly due to young people. Anyway, somewhere in the last few months some old bad habits have gotten hold again. The result - about half the clothes in my closet don’t fit. So I am moving them all into the garage. The big hole in my closet will remind me to stay away from the late night snacking that has gotten just a bit out of control. My plan is to have a big fashion show in April and everything that fits then gets back into the house.

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Well, somehow I didn’t expect to end up with a basket of ironing!

Getting older, and still fat. well. You know what? That’s just me.

I am working on settling into my new life. Sailor boy and I will be working far apart for the next five years or so, trying to earn enough money to spend a few years sailing before we reach the stage where we need to rely on the Canadian health system. After my big health scare this year. and especially now that I am working in a cancer support organization, I have become more focused on healthy living. I will probably always be fat, and there is not much anyone can do to dodge illness bullets, but while I am healthy I can enjoy it as much as possible. For me that means activity, good food, and good wine. That’s what you will hear about from me from now on…struggles to find balance and the moments of joy when I succeed.