Last night we broke trend and went out for dinner…or rather, down to the corner diner for fish fry night. It was fun, it’s a little roadside pub type of place. The owner’s are a young couple. Sailorboy has helped them out with some furnace issues and they very nicely comped our dinner. Now by Fri night I can barely make complete sentences, and Sailorboy has been working 12-16 hour days so I admit we weren’t the most charming of couples, but it was a nice to step out a bit.
I am on a mission to buy a bicycle this week. I won’t bother explaining what happened to my old one, cause I’ll get all riled up again, but this is the time of year they start to go on sale so I am on the hunt. Also looking through the classifieds and kijiji.
K, I am going to put in a few hours redecorating my home office, which will make me feel like I have made progress towards my personal goals.
The damn scale is so-o-o-o-o-o-o-o slow. But going down in fits and starts. The graph looks like this; (finger waving wildly in the air).
Well, after complaining about the workload this week, I have to admit my Thurs evening meeting was cancelled (yay) AND someone gave me a free ticket to the hockey game tonight. A box seat no less. I am not a true-blue hockey fan but I am looking forward to the outing. I will just grab a quick (low-carb) dinner and off I will go!
I have been thrown off my low carb daily streak by work this week, so I will reset it to ‘1′ tomorrow.
This week is a series of 12 hours days - Mon to Thurs, which might actually be a bit longer. Meetings bloody meetings. And I am so far behind on actual work!
Well, I am setting up my home office like a home studio. I am working up to doing something artistic - jewellery design. I used to do it when I was a lot younger, pre-family, and it has been in the back of my head for a while. I am going to start small, just for fun, friends and family, and see if it is still something special. If so, I may take a two year design program I have been investigating. This is all still very tentative, but it feels good. It also feels good to be taking baby steps and not jumping in off the deep end…maybe I am getting smart in my old age.
On Sunday I went to a Pow Wow, it was organized on campus by the Aboriginal student group and a few other associations. It was great fun - very loud and colourful. The dancers costumes were spectacular, and the dancers ranged from about 4 years old to quite elderly. Joy in movement.
Scale is holding steady, and that’s ok for now. Last night I was trapped in a meeting from 4 pm to 9 pm and the supper provided was lasagna and salad. I had only half of the lasagna portion (because honestly, did they think we were lumberjacks? It was huge) the salad of course and then I broke down and had a dessert square. Which was so sweet I was sick to my stomach for the rest of the evening. A good lesson, and here’s the thing: because I had been so disciplined earlier in the day it wasn’t a disaster. I mean it obviously pushed me way over but not into my personal red zone.
Breakfast this morning is right on track.
Sunny spring-like Sunday morning. Sailorboy is not saying anything but he is starting to wonder about me…lol. Last night I only ate the toppings off the pizza and he’s watching me pass up pancakes, french toast, homemade bread etc in favour of 2 eggs every morning we are together. I can tell he is starting to think I might be a strange one….
However, I feel great. The jumpy legs problem has eased considerably. That always happens when I cut out sugar and flour. The scale is doing the right things too. All of which is a big relief.
Another lazy Saturday morning. As long as I stay hard-core atkins at less than 50 grams of carbs per day, the scale edges downward. A lower carb count does make things happen more quickly but I don’t feel good.
Today the scale says 178.2. I remember the last time it was edging upwards (which seemed to go much faster, now that I think about it) and I passed 178. I was horrified. I felt gross and lumpy. Now I am feeling empowered. Like I am shrinking. What does that say about timing and perspective?
I am glad it is Saturday, although I didn’t believe it when I got up this morning. It took a few moments for consciousness to fully engage, I guess. I do have to go into work this afternoon, then I would like to take the dog for a long walk on our favourite bay. I need the air and serenity.
I am very tired though. Sailorboy and I are bouncing back and forth between homes; last night he was here and I cooked dinner. Then we just sat in front of my (fake) fireplace and talked. He is working 12 - 12 hour days in a row, which makes me feel like a suck when I complain about being tired…lol.
We have skirted the ‘let’s live together’ conversation several times but at this time in our lives it feels very complicated. We have been seeing each other for almost a year, that’s not really very long in the greater scheme of things. Moving in together feels like a big leap of faith. I always said I would only live with someone again if I was going to marry them, because I know how hard it will be for me to adjust and make all those daily compromises without a strong commitment to see it through. I haven’t shared my home with another adult since my husband and I split up in 1989! Being the only adult in the household always felt much less riskier.
Well, time to get cleaned up and get off to work! Maybe I will treat myself to a mall pedicure this weekend, in anticipation of spring and open-toed shoes.
Yay, I really like Thursday nights. Thursday is cleaning lady day, and I love coming home to a sparkly smelling house. I realise it is quite a luxury to have a cleaning lady now that my kids have moved out and I am on my own, but I figure I am contributing to the economy and creating employment. Plus I really appreciate it.
We are having a nice early taste of spring. It won’t last, at least one more big storm will hit us, I am sure, but right now everything is melting and muddy. I discovered my dressy boots leak.
It is warmer during the day but at night it is still well below freezing which makes the sidewalks dangerous. I still need my sturdy winter footwear - no running shoes for me quite yet.
I am doing a good job of staying away from the school cafeteria. Let me tell you - what they can do to an egg should not be allowed. Since eggs, broth and cheese are all I can eat in there, I’d rather get home for lunch when I can. Luckily I live close enough to work that it is possible to zip home. Not this week though - this week is lunch meeting week. Every day this week I am in a restaurant. Staying strictly atkins is a bit more of a challenge under these circumstances, but I have a 2-1/2 day streak going…lol.
Did not want to get up this morning. I kept hitting the snooze button and in the end had to almost throw myself off the edge of the bed.
Starting last night I am strictly hard-core atkins for the foreseeable future. I need to break some bad habits and I know from experience that time is the only solution. Perrier water and/or herbal tea with my evening cheese break instead of wine, for instance. Also, I have been cheating the dog - his daily walks have been getting shorter and shorter. Not fair to either of us, and I have no excuse now that the external temperature seems to be getting a bit more bearable.
I really hate how I seem to have been stuck like this for so long. I can’t figure it out. In no other part of my life am I so turgid.
Well, so far on my ‘win-the-lottery’ financial plan I am up $2. I thought I would start with something manageable, you know, before playing in the big leagues…..
Geesh.
So since that is not panning out, I will go into the bank tomorrow to finalise remortgaging the house to pay off the consumer debt. I have cut up the credit cards; I can’t build them back up again. Being an adult is not fun, sometimes, is it?
I pulled out the tape measure and took some vital statistics. Horrifying. Just horrifying. Those numbers are ringing in my head. Adios denial. Also looked at some reports from fitday and guess what? I am not nearly as good at the low-carb thing as I like to pretend. In penance, I am drinking green tea, taking the dog for a second walk tonight, and digging out all my exercise dvds. Every second day…serious exercise every second day. It is the only solution.
