I have been a single person for a long time. My husband and I split in 1989, and since then I have been what they call a ’serial monogamist’…a series of relationships, but none lasting more than 3 years (which, come to think of it, is kinda like my job history. Huh).
I had good reasons for this - my sons’ father had a complicated personal life after we split up, and I was very reluctant to introduce another man to the family dynamic, and also I was never sure I had the emotional energy to deal with further complications…so, for better or worse, I dated on my free weekends, and kept everything simple.
Long story short, I have ‘exes’ floating around out there. And lo, one has surfaced via the magic of facebook, and I will probably meet him for lunch when I am in Vancouver in May. So, damn if I will meet him 20 lbs heavier than the last time he saw me. I can’t do anything about the 10 years, wrinkles etc but what I can change I will.
Now, I know that all the fitness gurus say that we should have intrinsic personal reasons for being healthy, and external reasons are not effective. So what, I say: Whatever works. I really hope this guy has gotten bald, fat and short, but just in case I am going to look hot, hot, hot when I see him again.
Weather report is calling for snow all week. Last night I let myself imagine an early spring…nope, don’t hide the shovels just yet.
Off to face a busy day, I just remembered I have a lunch date with a potential donor so I need to dress up a bit. I was expecting to feel a bit sore and stiff from the run yesterday but all is well so far. I will spend a few minutes stretching just in case.
TNB is back from his long weekend fishing trip. They got skunked but had fun, at least until the snowmachines broke down, poor guys. I am sure I will hear the play-by-play tonight.
Back on top of the food log, as of yesterday. The numbers never make sense to me but I will do it anyway - aiming for low fat, high protein with lots and lots of fresh stuff.
Up .2. About what I expected; if not what I wanted.
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Spent the holiday weekend futsing around and accomplished NOTHING. No studying, no extra work, no home reno, no basement cleanout…NOTHING.I did go snowshoeing twice, ok, that’s good, but otherwise…what a waste of a long weekend.
And now I am grumpy about it.
Nope, time to switch it up….I had a relaxing and quiet long weekend. I snowshoed in the beautiful winter sunshine, I visited with a friend I haven’t seen in about a year, my son cooked me a belated b-day dinner, and tonight I am going to make a nice seafood stiry fry and go to bed early.
That’s better.
I can’t believe I slept in so late, it is almost embarrassing. I have a few things to get done this weekend, and Son #1 is making me dinner tonight. When they were smaller, my children cooked dnner for me on my birthday, and of course mother’s day. The menu was very consistent over the years: chicken, potatoes, salad, brownies or chocolate cake. One time they made brownies with pancake mix instead of flour….lol…but all done in love.
Son #1 has however upped his game in the kitchen recently, so while I am SURE it will be chicken it might be a more exotic version. He made a mole sauce last year that was amazing.
I do not expect the scale to go down this week, what with the cookies and junk food and all, but I will be happy if it doesn’t go up. I bought a new nike ipod thingy last night, so I will start tracking distance and time again today. I am heading up the highway to find a different place to snowshoe than my usual haunts.
Almost fell over when I opened the heating bill this evening. I will be giving up my hot baths and wearing extra layers to bed for the rest of the winter…that’s got to burn extra calories, right?
I was in meetings all day and managed to eat a gigantic carrot muffin, a gigantic chocolate chip cookie and several taco chips. As snacks. All in one day. Sigh.
I did go for a brief walk tonight, not that it would have made any difference today. I would have had to walk for 6 hours just to break even!
I have had the nicest birthday. I fought off the flu (or got off easy) and was back on my feet after about 24 hours. I really feel for those who get hit with the full dose. My secret is that THE MINUTE I feel like I am getting sick I go to bed. I am not one of those people who power through it all…’no ***hack** I am fine***moan*** really I need to finish the memo or the moon will fall…’. Listen, I gave birth to a 9lb boy without drugs, I don’t need to prove how tough I am ever again in my life. So I slept for about 20 hours of 24, and despite the fever and the nightmares, was about 80% last night.
Since I always take a vacation day on my b-day I had today off. With full disclosure to TNB about the health status, I headed off to his place after his shift last night. He had a cold too, so I am hoping we cancelled each other’s contagion out….lol. We had a nice low-key evening, watching our dogs play like crazy things, and this morning, had a really sweet and very late breakfast. He presented me with a birthday candle and sang ‘happy birthday’ to me….it made my day. I have known some real high-powered players who created elaborate events that didn’t make me nearly as happy as that simple gesture did. I have been smiling all day.
No idea how much I have eaten in the last couple of days…whatever I had was comfort food, pure and simple so probably all high fat, high sugar stuff. Tonight I am making a wild meat stew and then tomorrow back to real life.
Hey, you only turn 45 once, right? Thank all the deities.
Dagnabit, I have the flu. I feel like I have been hit by a bus. On the plus side, no appetite. The thought of food is repellent right now. But this is my birthday week, and although I did plan to spend my birthday in bed with the covers over my head hiding from the inevitable, I wanted it to be on my terms. Now I will just be drugged, and not in a good way. Dagnabit.
Early this morning I lay in bed setting all kind of ‘get it done’ plans for the day, and now I am throwing it all out the window to go for a winter hike. It is warm - which means just below freezing this time of year - so I don’t need all the bulky clothes, and I am going to head up the highway to a beautiful big bay and snowshoe along the shore. Still on week one of the 0-5k podrunner plan but that’s ok. I can stretch that out as long as I need. Fresh air and sunlight!
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What a beautfiul day it was! I gave up on the bay as it is about an hour north and the weather radar was showing a snowstorm up that way, so I headed out east instead, along the river. A perfect winter afternoon, 50 minutes of hard hiking on the snowshoes, home to a nap and then a healthy dinner. I feel so decadent - I did nothing productive at all! Except be nice to myself….isn’t it a bit sad that ‘being nice to myself’ doesn’t count as a good use of time?
Now I am doing the ironing and listening to a playlist of favourite songs. My current faves include; ‘Higher’ by Sugarland, ‘ Love story’ by Taylor Swift, ‘Book of My life’ Sting, ‘Crazy as Me’ Alison Krauss…I can dance around while doing a few chores. Tomorrow is another day.
Saturday and it is a grey, dull morning. I have lots of errands to do, and some work in the basement, but it is hard to get enthusiastic about anything on a day like today.
Official weigh in tomorrow and I am feeling positive, (because I am checking every day, of course), although I know there won’t be a big drop. Anything that maintains the downward trend will keep me happy.
This thing with TNB is requiring some thinking through. He has three children, from 6-14, and has them for four days a week. He also works evening shifts. As a result, we have to really plan how to spend time together. This is the first time in a long time I feel like I am dating, in the traditional sense of the word. We spend a couple of hours together 2 or 3 times a week, talking, etc., and then he goes home. It is like taking babysteps. We are getting to know each other slowly and at least for me, carefully. I know that developing this relationship into anything meaningful and permanent would force me to make some decisions. I have always thought of myself as migratory, not stationary. He will never leave here; is this where I want to spend my life?
Well, if I am going to wrestle with these issues I definitely need some cappucino. I will head out and do my errands, slosh through the icy slush with the animal, and then spend two hours studying. I have it scheduled; I have to remain committed to coming out on top of that challenge.
