I really want to go for a hike today but it is currently -36C with the wind chill. That is no fun. I will see what happens by the afternoon, it might warm up a bit. In the meantime I will try to get some of these chores done.
Looks like the ticker is moving down, which makes me feel good. Official number tomorrow. I don’t know if I can feel a difference or if I just have an overactive imagination.
After three days of feeling murderous I am now on the upswing of the pendulum and am unbearably cheerful and funny. By tomorrow things should have settled down. Sigh.
I am proud of myself for staying away from all cookies, breads, chocolate, etc…errr, well, alright, I will cop to a handful of smarties and one square (one square!!!) of extra dark chocolate…but that was it!
Yay me.
Still cranky, but at least in a human way. Sigh. The atkins thing is feeling pretty good. One thing I have noticed on this, and I remember this from before: there is no such thing as the feeling “oh, I’m a little nibbly, I wonder what there is to eat.” I am either ravenous, or not. And it doesn’t take much to move from the ’starving’ to ‘not interested’ place, either.
I am still eating up the fruit I had, in the form of my protein breakfast smoothie…here’s the recipe: 1/2 c soy milk, 1 scoop chocolate protein powder, no more than 200 grams of fruit and/or berries, 2 tsp bran, 2 tsp hemp oil, 1/2 c water to fill the blender. I know, sounds ominous; tastes pretty good.
I am cautiously optimistic that the number will change, in fact it did this morning and I moved the ticker but I don’t really believe it - I expect that tomorrow I will be right back up again. I do feel better though, so that’s a start.
Horrible, unreasonable PMS. It just fell out of the sky and landed right on me. This deep and green ANNOYANCE is not coming from inside or because of anything that happened. It is like a heavy cloak weighing me down. I don’t have time for this. All I can do is hold my breath and wait for it to lift again. My hormones haven’t been this wacko since I stopped the pill 15 years ago. AAAH I hate this. I am just looking around for someone to freak out all over on. Stay away. What a freaking bad time. If this is going to be the norm for the next 10 years I am going to do some serious damage at some point. Or I will have to go live on an island where there are no Freaking Annoying People.
Let’s all be glad I live alone. And that the animals don’t understand English.
Last night, I planned to get a morning run in - why do I do that? I know there is no way I am getting up one second earlier than I have to. I am just not a morning person. And to go out in -20C winter in the early morning dark? So not going to happen. I have to stop setting myself up for failure. Instead I found out I can hit the snooze button 7 times before it stops working.
I will run when I get home this evening, and I will feel so much better because that is when my body WANTS to do it. I did a 35 minute power walk last night; I have told Son #1 he is permanently off dog-walking duty. That means I have no choice but to re-adopt the pattern from last summer - one training night, one walk night, with 2 long runs of some sort on the weekend. (I use the word run very loosely…).
Well. So far so good. I am going to jump the gun and say ‘Yes, Day 2 on track’. Exercise rest day, but good low-carb day. Taking the dog out in a bit for a short walk cause it is -20C AGAIN and I just don’t want to be that cold tonight. I have turned the furnace way up - dang the bill! Full steam ahead, Scotty (that’s a joke because it is a boiler system…lol).
I was a bit self-indulgent today. I bought the latest Vanity Fair and a great book on canoeing with stunning photography of Northern Ontario. I got a canoe last summer and didn’t use it once, for 2 reasons: 1) I couldn’t get it on top of my car by myself and 2) Son #2 appropriated it most weekends. However, I now have a truck, which makes transportation so much easier. And Son #2 has moved south. Now I just have to remember those long-ago girl guide camp lessons, and teach the dog how to handle the bow.
Monday morning and the number is up again, but I am not freaking out at all. Thank you Eileen for reminding me that I have to do what makes me feel right/works for me, and that is low-carb. The last time I did atkins for about a year I lost weight and I felt great. Looking back I don’t understand why I stopped, or rather, slipped away. I know I love bread, and all things baked. I probably talked myself into ‘a little of this and a little of that’ and boom, back on the upward trend. Plus I do drink wine regularly, as part of a wine club and at home, and have pretended that doesn’t have any affect on my body. Hah! Says my gut. Just look down, says my gut. Oy.
So, breads are gone from my home. Crackers are gone. I have re-read the atkins book. I have started back on the podrunner5k podcasts. (I want to run a 10k trail by the end of the summer.) Yesterday I covered almost 5k and I was surprised how good I felt. I am still in the early days so it is walk-run-walk but now that I know I can run outside in the cold and the snow without killing myself I will do it every second day, when I am not snowshoeing.
This makes so much more sense to me than what I have been doing the last couple of years, which has been: keep eating whatever you want, just less of it, once in a while.
That strategy has not done anything except drive me totally nuts.
I have to take the dog out for a run now or I am not going to have time until late in the day. I have a volunteer commitment that will take all afternoon, and I have to spend a couple of hours at work preparing my annual budget because I didn’t stay late Fri night and finish it. I just couldn’t make myself do it. So off I will go this evening.
Scale is freaking me out, I will do the official number tomorrow a.m. but it is not looking good. the numbers never make sense to me. Have I mentioned how much I hate math?
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Did my run and I feel great. All the fresh air and sunshine. I am still on track for first day of atkins which makes me happy too. I am easing into it, scaling back the carbs by degrees although I have thrown out all the bread and crackers in the house. By next week i will be down to the induction numbers.
I am heading out for a snowshoe run this morning. I went to bed early (before 11pm!) and slept through most of the night - no nightmares, no dog emergency dragging me out from between the covers…I feel gr-r-r-r-r-eat!
I have been letting my imagination runaway with me on the TNB thing, and not in a good way. However, we had a good talk the other night and I feel a lot better. Really, I have to stop painting him in other people’s colours. He promised he wouldn’t do that with me, either. What’s that saying’ “Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it?” Works with men, too.
So, I am going to have to go back to the low carb eating habits, bread is killing me. I love it, especially the stone ground whole wheat stuff, but I know that when I eat a lot of bread, pasta and crackers a) I crave more and b) my body does not respond well. I can easily eat a whole loaf of bakery bread over a weekend! That’s nuts.
I am not sure how the food log program I use will handle it, I will have to ignore the warnings that will pop up and focus on just the info I need to watch. Unless someone knows of a low-carb focussed logging program?
