I am at my highest weight ever. Even higher than during my pre-eclampsia pregnancy, when I was elephantine with retained water. I know it is all relative and some people face much greater health challenges than I do, but for me this is not good. Physically, I am having palpitations and stomach troubles and aches and pains; mentally and emotionally I am feeling very vulnerable and my confidence level is rock bottom.
Again, I feel somewhat childish for all this complaining but my life right now seems to have so many elements that are out of my control and I can barely stay on my feet long enough to react to them. I would say 80% of this is allowing myself to be over-reactive to other people’s problems, and the rest is me allowing my problems to overwhelm my happy bits.
Huh, until I wrote that I didn’t realise it. There are 2 people in particular in my family that want me to do nothing but listen to them, make things easier for them, ‘understand’ them - but not expect them to make any positive changes themselves. My role is to listen to all the reasons why improvement is not possible. Meanwhile when I need support or comfort that generates barely a blip in their worlds.
(Oh, a little bitter, am I?)
Ok, well, today I am taking the dog for a long walk on my favourite beach. I am doing ONE thing in my house that will make me feel better…don’t know what yet, but I am not applying the 100 item to-do list pressure today. I am going to do ONE thing. And maybe that will be napping!
I may not be able to move mountains but I can play in the sand.
May 31st, 2008 at 10:49 am
right on TJ - I’m focusing on me and not letting others stuff get me down. Sometimes when you’re ’sensitive folk’ - like us - we can get caught up in their stuff and totally feel like crap. I’ve got the CRISIS couple (well my dear friend) who could put me in the dumps with her ongoing daily tragedy. But I just listen to her and send her good vibes through the universe.
You have fun today TJ - enjoy yourself. Our lives are too short - sometimes you just need a break.
meanwhile, I’ll be cleaning my house ;( Sometimes you’ve procrastinated until the last minute and you’re f&^*ed.
be well hon -
June 1st, 2008 at 11:27 am
A walk on the beach sounds like the perfect stress-buster to me. Of course, the beach is one of my personal favorite places to be. I hope things start feeling better for you. We’re all rooting for you, honey.
Hugs,
Z
June 3rd, 2008 at 5:24 am
Now that’s a perfect idea. One thing not one hundred. I sometimes feel so overwhelmed myself that I allow paralysis to set in and do…..nothing. It’s good that you recognise the pattern with your two relatives who “need” you to listen, but haven’t started or are not willing to make some progress on their own. That’s rough . I hope things start looking up! I’m pulling for you!
RubyJean
June 4th, 2008 at 12:22 am
I agree. Walking on the beach sounds perfect. The rhythmic sound of waves is therapeutic. Also isn’t it almost always lovely to be near a water body?
I wish there was a beach nearby me here. No such luck.
I can understand a bit how your two folks are making you feel. My mom is a little bit like that. She twists everything I say and complains a little too much. Whenevr I slip up and tell her something without thinking, I get into trouble. However we can do without depending on them.
Please take care. I like the ONE thing idea a lot.
Lots of love and good thoughts.
iniya