Confession time - I have spun so far off the low-carb thing I am disgusted with myself. It started about a week ago…a slice of bread here, a muffin there, and before I knew it I was having fries and bagels and pizza and a whole bag of chocolate chip cookies in one day. (Cause if you only eat three at a time, it’s not really a binge, even if it’s three cookies every time you walk by the open bag…cringe.)
I feel sick about it. I am trying to get back in control today but of course I am having a huge craving for bread, pasta, stuff like that. Not so much the sweet stuff, although there is a candy machine down the hall…aargh! It is all bad!!
Now I feel bloated and puffy and ill. I can’t understand why my weight has gone down at all. Probably if I get back on the scale today it will be up 8 pounds. Just to freak me out.
I seem to be unable to stop the self-sabotage. Is it superstition? Was I feeling TOO good about myself, and to be safe needed to take myself down a notch before the universe did? How sick is that? Or am I afraid to see myself change? Or just lazy and lacking in discipline? I know I should go to the gym. I know I should get more sleep.
Ok, I am going to whine just a bit more, beat myself up for a few more hours, then hopefully pull my head out of my butt and get back in control of what goes in my mouth.
August 3rd, 2007 at 10:57 pm
Oops! Don’t let it get you too down, it happens to all of us sometimes. I would suggest just not even keeping that stuff in the house, not going to anyone’s house who has it, not walking past it in the store…see where I’m going? Hehe. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, whine a little more (it helps, right? that’s what I like to do anyway), Don’t beat yourself up and tomorrow is a new day.