TJ North

It’s very warm this evening and I have to wait until it cools down a bit to take the dog for a walk. This weekend I will be at Loverboy’s cabin and the animal can run wild and free; tonight he is going to be limited to the neighbourhood. I am doubled over with cramps - I really do not want to go out but I am hoping that the exercise helps a bit. Also I am eating OTC meds like they are smarties. Dontcha love being female?

I have started re-reading the atkins book and I will start it again from scratch. I need to take control; and add some more specific exercise into my life. June is a ‘blue moon’ month - I am going to ride the lunar power cycle and start this whole thing over again.

My Mom says my Grandma is dying…when she does, she is last of her generation in the family and everything shifts. Plus my mother and her siblings will have an all out war over the inheritance. Even though it is not that big, they are carving out their positions. It will be bad.  I am already having nightmares about the funeral, from all perspectives.  Mostly from losing her…I still have dreams that we buried my other grandmother by mistake and she is alive.

I know I was lucky to have known all of my grandparents - and even my great-grandpa - for a long time, but it makes it harder when they go.

I don’t fear death, I believe it is part of the great circle of life, just one more stage before whatever comes next, and we shouldn’t fight it. 

For reasons that I don’t understand, that doesn’t make it any easier to face.