TJ North

This is going to be a bad day. I have already had a breakfast meeting, a brunch meeting, and am now headed to a lunch meeting. Then this evening I have a reception, followed by a different function that is a dinner! This is end of term scheduling at a university. I am going to explode by the end of the day, even if I work really hard at only eating fruit and vegetables.

{later} It was as bad as I thought it would be…2100 calories (at least, I think I might have forgot something). And it is blizzarding (sp?) and I haven’t taken the dog out yet. He’s laying at my feet, ready to move when I do. I really don’t want to go out there…this week is so exhausting. One more day, well, really two because Friday is going to be busy and will start early. I have to take Loverboy to the airport to catch an early flight. It leaves at 6:05 (!!!) am, and he said, “I’ll start getting anxious if we aren’t there byt 5:15.”  I said, “What’s with the ‘we’?”  But I agreed to take him out. Then probably I will come home to bed, since I have just about talked myself out of going to the cabin for the weekend due to the weather.

ugh. Already feels like it should be Friday. Or Thursday, I guess, this week. I am so booked for the next 2 days…go, go,go.  

This weekend Loverboy is heading south to visit his children, (VERY complicated family structure) and I was planning to head to the cabin for 2 days of complete silence and peace but now it looks like the last winter storm will hit just in time to prevent that. Going to the cabin requires a 3 hour drive straight north into the bush, and I don’t want to do it if the weather is bad. Not interested in spending the night in a snowbank somewhere.

So maybe I will just tell everyone I am gone, and spend the weekend in bed. Or, cleaning out my closet and doing the ironing, jobs that will make me feel virtuous but won’t require getting dressed or brushing my teeth….lol. 

Feel like I have eaten a ton of food today, but the food log says only 1,500 calories. I give up - I can’t figure this out. 

Last night I walked a lo-o-o-ng way and today my ankles were very sore…I think I need to upgrade the footwear if I am going to be out that long. Rubber boots just can’t keep up.  K, well, guess, I’ll head out again tonight. Sigh. I have been trying to talk myself out of it but the habit seems to have sunk in.

 {later} 60 minute walk, down to the park and then round and round the playground. At this time of night it’s deserted, and I can let the dog off the leash. He runs in circles but never goes very far.

I am really drained. I need to go to bed and pull the coves over my head.

Aargh! Gave into the french fry and ketchup craving for lunch. Now feeling really unwell. Trying to plough through a lot of stuff today - I am way way behind at work. So of course here I am doing this instead…do we see a pattern???

On the plus side, I think I secured a very large donation this morning, always makes me happy. We won’t see the actual donation for a few months but that’s usual with big money.

Ok, more coffee and then back to the paper pile!

{later} ugh so due to the fries - 2300 calories, just awful.  !Fine!

Gone for a walk with the dog - taking the long route with the hills. {later} whew - 90 minutes. I could never put in this time at the gym, I’d just get so bored. Being outside is better for me. But I need to work in some gym time or even dvd time for toning and strenthening. That will be my May goal.

Really going to have to add in a lot more exercise time if I am going to meet my goal of 2400 minutes in one month. I am running behind (no pun intended….lol)

This weekend I will be going to the cabin either by myself or with Loverboy, depending on what he is able to arrange to visit his kids. I would like some time alone…I  adore being with him but this has been a big adjustment for me after 15 years of mostly happy singledom. Some time alone with no task pressure would be a relief.

Yay me! Imoved the ticker one pound. I think I have moved to a new ‘hover weight’…you know, the scale goes up, it goes down, it bounces all around the hover weight.

Exercise - walk 100 minutes in total calories = 2,000 (although half of the last 800 were vegetables, don’t they get a free pass???)

What a long day. Went to visit my grandmother, who is 96 and being cared for in her home by my mom and a group of homecare women. My mom is organizing all this so her mother can come to the end of her life in her home, not in an institution. This will work as long as grandma’s money holds out…when that finishes I don’t know what will happen. Her other children are not being helpful in this at all.

 Grandma has her good days and not so good days. Today was a good day…she knew me, we chatted, until she got tired. She was trying to tell stories but lost her train of thought, realised she had and tried to hide it with general statements…then she got very angry when her homemaker arrived to help her get ready for bed. I left after a few hours and spent a few minutes with my aged aunt (other side of the family) up the street who is in denial about her illnesses…then drove home. A 6 hour round trip for a 4 hour visit. I was glad I did it but now am drained and restless and uninterested in going to bed. Also uninterested in eating, which is a step forward for me, I guess.

Yesterday and today…first days in many weeks that I haven’t hoofed it around the neighbourhood. Last night I just crashed. Loverboy arrived and I was asleep within minutes…every system shut down. 

Tomorrow I will be back to normal. Or at least as close as I get. 

Meanwhile…calories =  1,747  today,  1,430 yesterday  Exercise = nil (going to be way behind on my goal..have to really up the time over the next couple of weeks!!)