TJ North

Really wanted something with ketchup for lunch. How weird is that? Headed down to the caf for a big pile of greasy fries to go with the ketchup. Found a long lineup so I decided to zip home, instead, and had chicken and then an egg…satsified my craving and avoided the mega-fatty lunch. Yay me! (I know eggs and ketchup really gross some people out but I like it.)

Last night I created a new ‘2-hill’ loop on the dog walker route, and I did it lickety-split - shaved about 10 minutes off the time. Same distance, more effort. Almost ready to switch to running shoes…don’t think I will ever run….did you ever see SCTV’s “Run, Jump and Throw Like a Girl Olympics?”  That would be me, so no running in public. But fast walking, yeah, I can do that.

Son has taken dog for his mid-day walk…son is leaving for his summer job in a couple of weeks so I will have to start coming home each day for lunch and taking the dog around the block. That will add another 15-20 minute walk to my day, which can only be a good thing. The house will be lonely with him gone…I like having another family member in the building, even if he is in his own apt in the basement. I am going to finally clean out and paint the other one that is empty, and rent it to a friend who needs storage space. That way I get some revenue but don’t have a stranger down there.

yay me: calories = 1818; exercise = 60 minute walk (2 hill route)

Three things that made me happy today:

- it was a good hair day…lol…hey, you take what you can get!

- two more big donations came in today

- delish greek salad for lunch

Another long, challenging day in the salt mines.  Got home about 7pm, stopped on the way at the grocery store to buy a roasted chicken. Poor scrawny thing. Not sure how long it had been in the warmer - but it looks like I will barely get 2 meals out of it. The dog gets the skin as a bedtime treat.

It is interesting how my tastebuds have adjusted over the last few months. I still have my daily treats - one choc chip cookie (50 calories) and one biscotti (140 calories), but I really have no desire to binge on baked goods or chocolate. (Not yet, says the little voice, not yet.) I have been really paying attention to the total fat %age in my diet, and trying to keep it down to 30% or less. Most days I am close (10% deviation is allowed by my nutrition software before I get a big red X on the food log). Cheese is one of my favourite foods, and even when I indulge in that I weigh it to make sure it is less than 2 oz.  Which is a surprisingly large amount, and enough to satisfy me.

So why, oh why, by the good st sizita, is the scale not budging? I am becoming obsessed with it - to the point I fear I have become like one ballet student I read about, who said that when she was at the National Ballet School she was so concerned about her weight that she wore footprints into her scale.  And she was probably one-third of the person I am! Imagine!

Like I don’t have other things to worry about! My job! My son who tells me he has run out of money 6 weeks before his term ends and now needs a rather significant infusion of cash! My family’s various health problems, etc. My man’s very complicated life and how it is starting to infiltrate my life! These are all valid and important things I could easily obsess over but no, all my energy is going into trying to change the blinking number in the window of that stupid white scale with my psychic powers every morning (and evening).

Arrgh.

Yay me. Since Jan 1, 3 inches off the waist, and 1 inch off the hips, and 1 inch off the chest. Still, I cannot stop freaking out about the scale number bouncing all over. 

I got home late tonight after a long day at work, and then spent a couple of hours on the phone arranging my sister’s b-day party. Her friends are scattered and I don’t know many of them very well, and some not at all, so I am getting others to track them down…viral invitations! 

I really want to be down 10 lbs before this party. She has lost over 100 lbs in the past 2 years, and has worked very hard at it. I am very happy for her, but every time  I am around her I feel more and more like a pale slug. I have been expanding while she has been shrinking. And I know she has been shrinking due to good eating and lots of exercise; lack of both is why I have been expanding.

Calories = 1500  Exercise = 60 minute walk (hill route)

This somehow feels awkward, less casual and not as much fun. Now I feel like I had better have something worth saying!