Morning weight: 178.8

Exercise yesterday: 55 min power walk on the hiking trail

Food: getting better, still pretty high carb

Oh yeah. The frigging hormonal rollercoaster that is the forties.

On the plus side, I am making myself exercise. Yesterday - 35 minute powerwalk around the track. Tonight, I am already suited up for a run, just need to load the ipod. Food choices…well…portion control is not too bad, let’s just leave it at that.

Unable to sleep much the last few nights which is partly what caught up with me today.

I think I need to find a place to run away and hide for a long weekend, maybe rent a cabin somewhere and just not talk to anyone for a few days. I actually know a motel about 250km from here, where I would be close to some fantastic hiking trails and could just hide out with the dog…maybe I will look into that. Not quite wilderness camping. OMG, truly I have even been considering taking off for a weekend camping trip, which would be a huge adventure for me and maybe even fun. Hmmm….

I am really struggling to get our from under this black blanket. I know it is hormonal, I know it will lift soon, but this dark heavy weight on me is almost too much. I am just trying to keep my feet and mind moving…one step at a time.

I am feeling pretty good about myself right now, and here are the top reasons why:

1. after months of moaning, I DID start back on the couch-to-5k training program podcast program. I have completed 2 days of the first week. Today I am going to the gym after work to use the rowing machine for 30 minutes.I have my bag here and everything.

2. my fridge is full of vegetables and fruits and I am actually cooking real meals. Today for lunch I had portabello mushrooms and eggplant in an oriental style sauce. Very good.

3. I am wearing my cute Ralph Lauren moccasin stiletto knock-offs.

4. the workday is almost over and I have had an uncommonly productive day.

Whew.

Morning weight: 180.4                            I think this is reality.

Exercise yesterday: does upholstering NINE dining room chairs count?

White stuff: I had a cookie for lunch and almost feel asleep by 3pm. Talk about a carb crash. Can’t do that again.

Morning weight: 180.6  Exercise yesterday: 20 min power walking in the RAIN

Food: not going to talk about it

Morning: 181.6              exercise yesterday: 35 minutes of power walking

white stuff: one whole wheat baking powder biscuit

Started working on my upholstering project - I need to get the chairs done before company gets here for the weekend or we will have to eat standing up.

Ok, no more fooling around. I need to get back into an exercise routine, I need to move some muscles and build some stamina and burn off some stress. I have scheduled in the re-start of the 5k training podcast runs. I will find a way to do it every second day until I can actually run a 5k. I’ve done it before, I can do it again. At least the dog will be happy. I am feeling pretty grim about it but once I get some time in I know my attitude will improve.

In Toronto on business, one more night here. I am holed up in the hotel room working on some files for a presentation tomorrow. Then I will have to run up the street to get everything printed. Then, I am going to flirt with danger, or at least an old boyfriend, over dinner someplace quiet and expensive.

It has been the weirdest thing - over the last 3 months or so, I have been receiving emails and phone calls from men I haven’t seen in a long time. Did some cosmic flare go out to test whether or not I am really in love? I was single and dating for a long time, my friends, a long time, so there are a lot of ‘exes’ of varying degrees floating around out there. It has been so strange, I got very freaked out when someone called me to set up a meeting and I discovered she had the same (unusual) name as the guy who was my first hearbreak after my marriage ended. And people wonder why I like martinis!

No formal exercise this trip, but I worked a trade show and that meant 10 hours a day bouncing around a booth trying to appear fresh, energetic and approachable. That’s gotta be worth SOME calorie burn.

Zumba zucks. There’s a registration fee wasted.

Ok, summer is officially and legally over. Sigh. The best weather of the season has been the three weeks since Labour Day weekend. I even went swimming yesterday! (yes, I was showing off.)

Sailorboy has been suffering through a nasty allergic reaction to something. He is covered in hives from the ears down, and the antihistamines are not having much of an impact. He is only eating oatmeal, rice, carrots, and apples until it goes away, then he is on a strict diet to slowly reintroduce the high-risk foods. Which of course are all of his faves. I feel guilty eating in front of him.

I am back on a road trip to the big city this week, home Tuesday, I think. My fridge has been cleaned out and refilled with vegetables. Tomorrow I start my new exercise class, something called Zumba. If it doesn’t kill me it will make me stronger!