The journey from fat to fit. Road trip, woo hoo!

We’re having a snow day.  There is a tiny sprinkling of snow on the ground but school is cancelled.  WTF?

Good news for DD20 and DD9 who are here with me and have no classes at college or in third grade.  Bad news for me as this was a work at home day anyway, and I still have to do the work, except now I have to do it with people in the house as opposed to people going away and leaving me to do my work.  Good news for me, though, that it is 8:37 am and I am in bed in my jammies with my electric pad and cozy as can be with a kitty next to me and nobody needing a ride to school.

I got ZERO exercise this weekend.  It was freezing cold and sleety and nasty out, so no long walks, or even short walks.  DH has been really awesome about going on long weekend walks with me and I’ve come to enjoy that, so I did miss it this weekend.  Because all of the residents of this overpopulated house were home all weekend long, I also didn’t do any “inside” exercise like a video or bosu or anything at all because there was always something going on (with a time out for my pity party of course, but you can’t exercise during a pity party, it’s just not done).

So, now it’s Monday, I am homebound and I feel kind of like a big slug.  We are out of toilet paper and cat litter and all things fresh produce wise, so a trip to the store is in my immediate future.  I was considering walking to the store, even though it is 37 degrees outside, but I don’t want to have to walk a mile home from the store with a jumbo pack of toilet paper and heavy bag of cat litter, and my fiscal sensibilities forbid me walking to the store and buying a small pack of toilet paper just for today.  Plus, it’s really cold.

Maybe I’ll go walk around the mall, purely for exercise, and not look at dresses, and then while I am not looking at dresses (for an event in five days) I’ll see the perfect dress accidentally and try it on just for kicks and it will be fabulous and perfect and on sale… and while I stand in front of the gigantic three way mirror in the store admiring my fabulousness a modeling scout will approach and beg me to be his next big discovery, and I’ll laugh and pooh-pooh the idea as a crowd builds around us and starts to chant my name.

Yeah, maybe that’s what I’ll do.

I’ve lost 16 lb and I feel like shit.  I am still fat, as glaringly highlighted by yet another disasterous dress shopping trip.  Nothing looked good on me.  Nothing.  I bought another horrible dress, this time red.

This sucks.  I am sad.  I want to eat fried chicken and m&m’s and drink milkshakes because, what the hell, I am already fat so what difference does it make.  I haven’t felt this way in the whole 10 weeks I’ve been “on program” and I don’t know where it came from but I’m in “a mood.”  DH is trying to ply me out of my mood with healthy food offers and I’m about to put a fork through his GD eye.  LEAVE ME ALONE…

IT’S MY PITY PARTY AND I’LL BINGE IF I WANT TO, BINGE IF I WANT TO, BINGE IF I WANT TO….

I have a formal event to attend on Feb. 2.  It’s the annual auction for my daughter’s private Catholic school, and it’s “the event” of the year every year.  It’s not always formal, it’s a “theme” event, but this year the theme dictates formal wear.  DH refuses to rent a tux.  REFUSES as in we’re not going if the tux is mandatory.  Most men are wearing tuxes, but a few will be in suits, so if I get him there in a suit, he’ll be okay.

The women are another matter.  Everyone I have talked to so far is wearing a gown.  A GOWN as in think prom.  UGH.  I refuse to buy a ‘gown’ but I do need a nice cocktail dress, something other than my current “go to” black faux wrap that is perfect for weddings, funerals etc.  Time for something new.

Down 20 pounds by the auction was my first mini-goal when I embarked on my journey.  I’m down 14 and it’s in 10 days, so I’m thinking I’ll be close, but not there.  I have a weigh in tomorrow and I am HOPING that my increased exercise this week and my increased water intake will show in some nice results.  Hoping, but not convinced after my two splurge meals this week.

Anyway, I tried on dresses at Ross today.  First one I tried on was a size 18 and was big.  I was excited.  It was big!  Yay for too big!!  I then tried on numerous size 16 dresses that were ugly but fit.  I found a 14 that I would have bought in a heartbeat and it was a good fit in the waist and hips but way too tight across the bust.

I settled on a chocolate brown kind of cheapy rayon dress that is really not attractive at all.  The good news is it was $17.  The bad news… IT SUCKS.  What the hell was I thinking?  Oh, I know, I was thinking this will look great with a pair of chocolate brown pumps THAT I DON’T OWN.  Anyway, I am going to post a photo later tonight of me in the hideous dress for your amusement.  For $17, it’s probably not even worth returning, but I am going to go on a more inclusive dress hunt next week.

Weigh in tomorrow, formal dress event looming… I am not in my happy place right now.