The journey from fat to fit. Road trip, woo hoo!

I almost forgot!  I bought another dress and I don’t hate this one.  Yay!  I’ll start at the beginning. 

I went to Nordstrom’s to buy a bra.  I have never been measured for a bra before and I needed a bra to wear under the horrible red dress… and also because I have been watching that LOOK GOOD NAKED show and they always start with a really groovy bra.

So I go to lingerie and browse the bras.  A salesgirl comes over and offers to help.  I tell her I am looking for a bra to go with a dress, describe the cut of the dress and how my matronly bra shows in the center.  She says, have you been fitted for a bra before, I say no, and she says well, let’s do that.  Now, I am assuming that at this point she will lead me to a fitting room where I’ll be met by a 60-something year old grandmotherly type with a tape measure.  BUT NO.  When we get to the fitting room, the salesgirl, who is about 19 years old and a perfect size 2 with perfect boobs and cute hair, whips out a tape measure and says, okay, take off your top.  I was not a happy camper.

So I take my top off and she measures around the rib cage and goes out and gets bras.  She comes back with these GIGANTIC bras, the likes of which I have never seen.  The bra I was wearing today was a 40B.  My boobs are not big cup wise, but I’m big around.  The bras she brought me were a 36DDD and a 36G!!!  I didn’t even know bras went up to G, and I am NOT a 36.

So now I have to take off my bra, which she unhooks for me, and put on one of the test bras.  She hooks it and it is SNUG and I comment on the fact that it is SNUG and she says, yes, that’s how it is supposed to fit.  Okay.  The underwire is way, way down on my ribs.  I comment on the fact that the underwire is way, way down on my ribs and she says, yes, that’s where it’s supposed to be.  Apparently I do not know how to wear a damned bra.

I have to say, the bra felt weird.  But it looked kind of good.  And here’s the most amazing part… my rolls of back bulge were gone!  I don’t know how it works, but apparently all of your back and side fat can get forced into the cup of the bra if the cup is large enough!  Who knew?  I put my shirt back on over the bra and it looked really good, so I bought it.  A freaking 36DDD when I went in wearing a 40B.  Go figure.

So I leave Nordstrom’s with my $68 bra and a pair of $45 Striderite shoes for grandbaby and decide to cruise thru Penny’s because Princess needs a navy blue sweater for school.  I figure while I’m there, I’ll browse the cocktail dresses.  Wow, they’re all on sale.  I found a really cute one but it only went up to size 12.  Drats.  Oh well, I’ve already bought two freaking dresses for this stupid auction/dinner/dance already, so just as well. 

On my way out, I browsed through a really messy, jumbled sale rack and, lo and behold, the cute dress that I saw before is there, and in a size 16.  Wow.  $90 marked down to $45.  Double Wow.  I took it to the fitting room and, miracle of all miracles, it’s cute!  A little big in the shoulders but with about 1/2 an inch taken up in the straps it’s really, really cute.  Rouched waist, so even sitting down it’s still cute… and kind of a poofy skirt so it looks like the skirt is poofy and hides the fact that it’s actually me who is poofy under the skirt.

I decide to buy the dress, get to the register and it’s on sale even further than the markdown price … I paid $23 for it.  It was a miracle, a sign from God, that this is the dress for me.  A friend borrowed my camera yesterday, but when I get the camera back, I’ll post a photo.  In the meantime, the photo posted here is of the dress, but not me in it, and sure as hell not a size 16… but it’s the dress.

Now I need to decide what color shoes and yay or nay on fishnets.  For some reason, I really want to wear fishnets.