Weight & See

It’s been nine months since my last post and I’ve have been thru the wringer!  As stated, I did have eye surgery in June to take out my lens and have a new one put in.  The way things were SUPPOSED to go, I was going to have the surgery and 6 weeks later, start school.  Well…..that plan was thrown out the window.

The surgery went horribly!  For nine weeks I complained non-stop of having severe double vision, pain and blurriness.  Twice I was told I had an infection in the back of the eye and had to have an injection INTO THE EYE!  Boy, was that fun :O  The doctor never could tell me why my eye was not getting better or why specifically, I was having the double vision or pain.  Every time I asked, he said “I don’t know.  The eye looks perfectly normal!”
Well at the nine week follow up he said he couldn’t do any more and told me to see an ophthalmologist to see if they could do anything with glasses.

To make a REALLY LONG story shorter, the ophthalmologist took one look in my eye (the same day as the last appt with the surgeon) and stated, “OMG you have a hole in your iris!  That’s why you have double vision!”  When questioned, she remarked it was done during the surgery and she couldn’t understand how he (the surgeon) didn’t comment on it.

She went on to say she wanted to try and make a new type of contact lens that would be opaque in one section to cover up the hole, thus hoping to rid me of the double vision.  Funny thing though…..we never heard back from her.

So last Sept, I phoned a physician I had worked with back in CA to see if he could recommend another eye surgeon for a second opinion.  At this point, I was facing never driving again, not being able to read a normal book, write a check, pay a bill, etc., etc., etc……!

He recommended a doctor at the Jule’s Stein Eye Institute in California.  This doctor is world renowned and really knows his stuff.  Saw him and he wanted to schedule me for surgery ASAP.  His plan:  Take out the lens that was put in, implant a new one and attempt to suture up the hole in the iris.  YIKES!  More surgery.  But if it worked….I may have a life again.

While I was getting ready for surgery (labs, measured for new lens, etc) we discovered that the lens the other doctor had put in was the WRONG LENS!  It was the wrong size (thus causing pain) and the wrong power (strength).  Wonderful!

Had the surgery in December 2010.  The surgery helped immensely.  The doctor was able to sew up almost all the hole in the iris, so I don’t have double vision anymore.  I do have to be careful though because if my head is tilted “just right” light can enter into that tiny opening which in effect blocks my vision (kinda like a very bright stage light shining at you).  While at the last visit, he was able to refract me to 20/25, after returning home, my eye seemed to have changed slightly.  After contacting the doctor, he wanted me to go to an optometrist and get remeasured to see if any changes had occurred.  They had.  The new glasses would refract the eye to 20/30 which is good.

Got my new glasses and find that while I can drive, I won’t be doing a lot of it.  Between having only the one eye working (remember, I don’t have a lens in the other eye) and using pretty high powered bifocals, it is somewhat hard to track things when in a busy atmosphere (like a lot of traffic).

I can drive to things close to home, but won’t go very much farther.

I also have to have my eye measured again for a better reading glass.  Right now I still need my magnifying lens to read and that gets tiring.  Have gone back to books on tape for now.

Last week, I felt comfortable enough though to rejoin Weight Watchers.  During all the stuff with my eye, I was unable to exercise and since I couldn’t read packaging, I had gained most of the weight I had lost, back

I rejoined only to find they have a new program called Point Plus.  While I LOVE that most fruits are now 0 points, I am finding that all of the other foods that I had points memorized for, have changed in points values.  Soooooo, this last week I had to try and readjust my thinking and make sure I checked points.

To top it off, (aren’t you just worn out reading all this, lol) we started the demo on our kitchen last week so that is in complete chaos!!!

Went to my meeting this morning expecting to have gained a little (had to eat out quite a bit because of kitchen and didn’t make real good choices).  To my utter surprise I found I had lost 2 lbs!!!  YEAH!!!

Doing great with my weight and then WHAM!  I start having problems with my eyes…..again!  Went to the doctor last Friday and was told the lens is starting to detach (like it did with the right eye almost 2 years ago) and I may need surgery.  LOVELY!

I literally just enrolled to start school in August and I spent all day yesterday at the doctor’s office.  Looks like the other doctor was right.  The lens is detaching and i spent half the doctor visit getting measured for an anterior chamber lens that will be surgically placed in my eye on Monday!  Wonderful!

Now I will have to deal with healing time, new glasses, and yet another new pair a month later.  Add to that I have to find out if the school will allow me to push my start date out and not lose the registration fee I’ve already paid, GRRRRRR.

Can you feel the stress people!

Oh and one more lovely thing!  Because of my eyes I have missed the last two meetings at WW.  I emailed my leader to let her know I would be in on Saturday (this was BEFORE I knew about the surgery) and she informed me the weekly fee had gone up.  But she agreed to waive the new fee for me IF I came in on Saturday.

Well, I can’t go.  Money is just too tight!  Thinking of doing the online, but found its more expensive.

STRESS…..STRESS…….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi everyone -

This last couple weeks have been VERY tough for me.  I lost my Mom 18 mos. ago and sometimes the pain can be overwhelming.  Add to that the fact that I keep vacillating between returning to my job next school year, or quitting and going back to school.  My emotions have been on shaky ground lately.

At my last WW meeting I was upset to discover that I had gained 3 lbs!!!!  Now to be honest with myself, I knew I had gained, just not that much.  My friends and I talked and I did realize that because of the time of month it was and the fact that I have been very stressed, it was to be expected.  But still its not something you want to see.

So, since last Saturday’s meeting, I have gotten back on track watching my portions, tracking everything I eat and getting back into exercising regularly.

I was still down when this morning, just in the nick of time, my Aunt phoned to tell me that she had heard about my wonderful progress with WW and…..SURPRISE!, she and my cousin joined last week!  She was so excited and kept telling me what an inspiration I was to her.  This just made my day and gave me the boost my stressed out brain needed.

FAMILY……..YEAH!!!!!

I am soooo darned excited!  I ordered a couple bathing suits (mandatory here for AZ summers) in a size 12.  Last years suit was a 16 and looked like a “grandma suit”!  I hated it!!
Well the new suits came in and I really planned on waiting a couple more weeks to try them on.  But I was impatient and couldn’t wait.  Guess what??  THEY FIT!!!

Hope everyone is having a good Monday.  I work at a local elementary school and everyone has been talking about how we only have a few weeks……..4 to be exact, before we are done for the year.

Now my first reaction is to think, “Ahhh, sleep in time!  Or, no more grumpy Mom and kids in the morning!”  But then it hit me:  “I won’t have my usual support group during the week!”  My husband will be getting up as usual and going to work and the kids…..well, the kids will be sleeping in and wanting to snack….ALL DAY!

I find myself having to plan my first couple weeks so I have some kind of routine which won’t include raiding the fridge every 10 minutes.  Here is AZ it gets HOT, really hot.  And the last thing you want to do is go outside.  Yes, we have a pool.  But seriously, how many laps can one do in a day, LOL!!!

Well this post will be much more uplifting than my last.  After reading over the last post, it made me realize how many ups & downs the journey of losing weight has.

If you lose, you are ecstatic.  If you gain, you are depressed or even angry at yourself (or that intimate hot fudge sundae you had).  Even if you stay the same, there is that feeling that you could always have done more.  Which makes me wonder:  “Are we ever truly happy with our weight.  Our appearance?”

Which brings me to the topic of this entry, “I did it!”  I went into the meeting this morning holding my breath as I knew I only needed to lose 1.8 lbs. to hit that magic 20 lbs lost number.  After gaining a piddly amount and then losing an equally piddly amount, twice, I went to today’s meeting full of apprehension.

I told my leader before getting on the scale how frustrated I had been.  She said not to worry and just keep following the program and it would work.

I took off my shoes, held my breath and stepped onto the scale.  I am thrilled to tell you that my leader said, “You DID IT!  But you didn’t just lose 20 lbs, you’ve lost another 2.8 lbs which brings you up to 21 pounds total lost!!!!”

I can’t tell you how wonderful I feel knowing that I have reached this one goal by myself.  Oh, I know I’ve had the support of my family and my WW leader and members.  But its a truly empowering feeling to know that I’ve reached this goal because of the choices I have ultimately made!!!!!!!

Ok, I’ve said it….”I am getting frustrated!”  The last three meetings my weight fluctuates by .4 or .6 give/take, back and forth and it’s driving me nuts!!!

I am SOOOOO close to losing 20 lbs.  I want to look at the number on the scale and have it say that I have lost 20 pounds!  But I keep gaining a teeny amount, then losing a teeny amount……Grrrrrrrrr!

I have been extra diligent this week about writing down everything I eat/drink and I have even added two extra days at the gym!

At tomorrow’s  meeting I will keep my fingers crossed!  Is this what they call a plateau???

If I don’t hit that magic number,  I will have a talk with my WW leader.  I don’t want to fall into the trap of giving up because my weight loss has stalled.

Hi everyone -

Haven’t written in a while.  Been busy just being a family around here.  Daily stuff gets in the way of writing.  I am happy and proud to say that I got my 10% lost keychain from Weight Watchers three weeks ago……Yay me!

I have had a couple weeks of ups & downs.  One week I was up .4 and then I would lose .6, then the next week I’d find myself up again.  Not huge differences, but those + signs in my check in booklet from WW isn’t something you want to see.

Due to tightening our belts around here, I have decided to go to the meetings every other week.  I will miss going every week as the “Umph” I get from the members is a boost to my sanity, LOL!!

I am VERY PROUD though to say that I have stuck with WW now far longer than other diets I have tried.  The biggest difference with “other diets” and WW is that with WW it doesn’t feel like a diet.  All the other diets I have tried restrict one type or even and entire category of food.  And with me that just doesn’t work!

I will be going to my next meeting on the 24th and am looking forward to a BIG goal……..Having lost 20lbs!!  I am really looking forward to that.

Today I wanted to post how I have been feeling the past couple weeks.  A distinct change has come over me.  Along with losing pounds, I am re-gaining a confidence in myself that was lost.

It’s amazing how much one’s own personal view of ones self can affect how you relate to the world around you.  I’ve been in the company of people who have a lot more weight to lose than me, and yet after talking with them, we all have one thing in common…….loss of confidence in ourselves.

We have become doormats for strangers and even those that love us.  We have become “yes men” because we feel that rejecting a request from someone will somehow make them reject us.

But a subtle change has come over me the last two weeks.  And I can honestly say that even though losing the weight is wonderful, it’s not the weight that has prompted the change.  No, what has prompted the change is my knowledge that I can and am doing this for myself and by myself!

Yes, we all have those people that support us.  But lets face it, we make the ultimate decisions to eat this, not eat that, have one more or throw the rest away!  I am the one affecting the change.

My self confidence has grown so much that I have decided to go back to school to update my education so that I can re-enter the workforce doing something I love…working in the medical field.

I made the decision almost 13 years ago to become a SAHM and that was the right decision.  But after having taken that much time off, getting back into the workforce requires updating my education.

In all honesty, I never would have considered going back to school even three moths ago!  My self esteem was so low that just the thought of going on a job interview scared me to death!

So along with my being on a weight loss journey, I now find myself evolving into the woman I used to be….No, the woman I was meant to be!

Ok if you saw my post “All turkey bacon not the same” I promised to tell you what I found.  So here goes:

Our Old Brand Of Turkey Bacon:

Oscar Mayer Turkey Bacon

This was the turkey bacon we were buying.  Tastes great, but if you are like me, one slice isn’t enough!

Calories (per slice):  35      Fat:  3g     Fiber:   0   Points per slice:  1

You can have 2 slices of this for 2 points.   I used my WW calculator and figured you could have up to 4 slices valued at 1 point each.  After 4 points I quit counting as I wouldn’t eat that much, LOL!

My new turkey bacon:

Jennie-O Extra Lean Turkey Bacon

Now I will have to be honest here and tell you that the first slice I cooked this morning in our convection oven turned out horrible….very crunchy and overdone.  Didn’t look burned but very crunchy.  The dogs got a treat and I tried again.  I put the slices in and cooked them for exactly 4 minutes at 400 deg.  Perfect this time!  I like turkey bacon a lot so this was a great tasting alternative to real bacon for me.  Just remember that this brand, because its extra lean, cooks up REAL fast!  Test it every minute or so after the first 3 to get it the way you like it….or your dogs will love  you even more, lol!

Calories (per slice):   20     Fat:   0.5     Fiber:  0

Points Per Slice:  1 slice = 0 points                                                                                                               2 or 3 slices = 1 point

I had 3 slices this morning with my egg white omelet with two slices of my Sara Lee Multi Grain  bread and my entire breakfast was only 4 points!  Wonderful!!!