A Journey To Self Confidence

Sooo the big number on the scale today was 207! That means I’ve lost 4 pounds since last week! Woohoo! :]] I’m sure that is partially due to the fact that I had to cleanse everything out of my body last night… which let me just tell you was no fun at all… Plus I probably gained 2 pounds back at lunch today… I was on an all liquid diet yesterday so I ate like a pig this afternoon :/ I didn’t eat dinner tonight because I’m still completely bloated from it… :/ I’m fixing to hit the elliptical and do my 30 day shred video so I can get back on track. I honestly really hate days that I don’t workout now. I just feel so much better after! I also updated my progress pic under the tab! I think I’m starting to see a change in my face! :]] I hope everyone else is having a successful week! :] see you soon! :]

how I hate you and love you at the same time… hahaha. This 30 day shred stuff is really kicking my butt. But everyone is right, around day 3 everything starts getting easier. I missed 2 days but I started again tonight. I can really notice a difference in my endurance. I’m sure running on the elliptical is helping with that too I made myself get up this morning and do a mile before work! :] cardio is finally getting a little easier! yay! I also got the Pussycat Dolls exercise video yesterday too.. how embarrassing :/ haha! It really is a good workout! But if you’re really modest I wouldn’t suggest it.. My fiance liked watching me do it tho…lolol! geeze ok moving on haha! So tomorrow is going to completely suck… I have to be on an all clear liquids diet for the entire day… yay for diet sprite and chicken broth?? Gross.. Its going to be like being sick but without the death feeling that makes u not want to eat in the first place…Which means I’m going to be starving all day… At least my procedure is at like 10:30 Tuesday morning though so I can go out and have a big lunch after! haha! Actually I had a big meal from western sizzlin tonight since I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat at all tomorrow and it has made me just feel gross. Way to much food.. Still under my calorie allotment for the day.. But I ate way past my full point.. Which did not go so well with the 30DS after.. Talk about almost seeing your food again.. haha gross! We’ll it’s 11:00 here in Georgia and I am super tired. Time to get some sleep and prepare for tomorrow :/ Wish me luck! See you later!

Sooo last night was a horrible night… Georgia was supposed to get hit hard by these storms that had been causing massive amounts of tornados while it was heading our way. Needless to say I was a mess. I don’t know why but tornados have always been one of my worst fears… Probably because it can take away everything you’ve ever had in the blink of an eye.. Just the thought of one stresses me out.. So when I finally got off work it was about the time that we were supposed to get hit hard.. When I walked outside it was beyond creepy…It was warm.. but there was a cool breeze.. there was lightning all around.. but no rain… It just didn’t feel right outside.. And in my panic of course I was stressing about dinner.. We were supposed to have turkey burgers and sweet potato fries for dinner.. but my only thought was we’re going to get to cooking and lose power and be SOL.. so what did I do instead? Chinese.. oh my gosh I could kick myself in the butt for doing that.. after my panic stricken inhilation of this food I went to my calorie counter and it knocked me 800 calories over for the day!!! What is that?!? I don’t think I will ever eat sweet and sour chicken again… Oh I want to be running on the elliptical right now just thinking about it.. Sadly I am stuck at work sitting at my desk only wishing I could be home exercising.. I was going to get on the elliptical last night too but I’m assuming because my nerves were beyond shot that my body just kind of turned off… I was literally awake maybe an hour and a half after I got home from work.. Which is crazy since we usually stay up until at least 11 or 12.. But of course I got woken up by the storm all night.. every crack of thunder I was ready to jump up and rush to the bathtub to take cover.. gosh. Well work has picked up so I gotta wrap this up. Hope no one on here had any damage from the storms! I’ll see you guys later!

So yesterday I missed doing my 30 day shred video… My work has recently changed our hours… Used to be that we got to stop patients so that we could be out by our closing time of 8:00… Well now they changed it and we have take patients up until 8:00 and then just be here until we’re done… not cool… So of course last night we had 3 people walk in between 7:30 and 8… and one was at 7:55… which was a girl that had fallen about 6 hours earlier…and just now needed an xray… ugh. So needless to say I didn’t walk out the door until 9:00.. Didn’t get to eat dinner until 9:30… and we wanted to watch a movie…so I didn’t get the chance to do the video.. I did do a mile on the elliptical.. but I just don’t feel right knowing I didn’t do the 30DS.. But in the end I’m pretty glad I held off a day.. My quads hurt so bad I could barely walk.. and the elliptical definitely stretched them out last night and it feels much better today. But now its only 9:30.. and I’m stuck here until at least 8 tonight… geeze I hate 12 hour days.. And its supposed to storm really bad here in Georgia this evening… Maybe if we get tornado warnings we can head out early ;] haha!

On a side note.. People at work are starting to notice I’m losing weight already! One of our providers made a comment to me today that I was looking great! And asked how much I had lost! Wow :]] Can’t wait until weigh in day Tuesday to see how successful this week has been :] Hope you all are having great weeks!! See you later!

So 3 pounds down today! So at 211 exactly. Which is back where I had been… but at least its better than 214! I’ve been completely on track too so I’m expecting much more progress next week :] I’ll post a picture under my progress pics in a min! So anywaaay..I’ve been doing the elliptical for about a mile a night.. but tonight I started Jillian Michael’s 30 day shred… let me just say… I kind of want to just roll around on the floor and die. haha! I really hope it gets easier because that was hard… and I know that its just because I’m so out of shape but still haha! I’ve seen people with some pretty amazing results and I’m hoping I see the same! I know its hard but I’m going to make myself stick to it every day. I have got to get ready for this cruise!!! And I bought some really cute dresses and tops today for the cruise that would look sooo much better if I could lose 20 pounds between now and then! Plus I really want to order a nice formal dress but I don’t want to now in case I do drop a couple dress sizes.. which I am very much counting on :] So all in all its been a pretty great week! I’m ready to have a 100% completely on track week this week though. All of my food and all of my exercise! Well I’ve got to get off of here… 2 tests tomorrow at school :/ Hope everyone else is having a great day!! See you soon! :]

So today was a pretty much on track day until dinner of course… We went out to a chinese buffet.. I definitely just kind of grazed around instead of just gorging on rice and sweet and sour chicken like I normally would :/ haha. But I did have 2 of the little chinese donuts :/ But then we went shopping! First, I got a super cute new lunch tote so that I can carry my lean cuisines to work and school! I know.. I didn’t have a lunch box for myself.. how sad :/ haha! But then we moved on to clothes! I have never been one to really buy clothes for myself… but tonight I got 2 pairs of the soffe shorts and the black leggings to go under them :] but the BEST thing I bought was a very padded push up bras… advertising that it adds 2 cup sizes instantly… let me just tell you.. it does! And it looks aaawesome if I do say so myself :] haha! I’m very flat chested so its nice to feel like I have something there! :] I also bought…. A NEW SCALE :]] We had an ancient one :/ but now we have a new shiny digital scale that even tracks your weight and compares it to your last weigh in :]] I’m excited to do my official weigh in on Tuesday (of course I cheated and had to try it out tonight haha!) And then of course I came home and just wanted to lay around on the couch.. but after I tracked my food and realized I was like 500 calories over for the day I made myself get off my butt and do a mile on the elliptical. Yesterday it took me 26 minutes… today I got it down to 24! So at least its progress! But now its time for bed… work in the morning :/ haha. Hope everyone else is having a successful week! Catch you later :]

Had another completely on track day! :] And actually exercised tonight! After this I came in 24 calories under 1200! :] I did a mile on the elliptical and it ended up taking me about 26 minutes…Which sucks.. I used to be able to do 15 minute miles… to have to look at the fact that I’ve let myself add 11 minutes to that is a little defeating.. But I know that I am working my way towards getting to, and passing, that mark. I’m going to become better than I ever was :] I just really hope that I can stick this out all the way this time. I keep going up and down and up and down. I really think this time it will stick though. I just need to make it a habit. If I can stick to it for just 2 weeks then I know I can do this! Well now that I’ve cooled down I think I’m going to go shower this sweat off! haha! Been a while since I could say that sadly :/ lol! Hope everyone’s having successful days! See you tomorrow! :]

So I really hate not posting everyday… Everything has been pretty hectic lately though with school and work and drs appointments… SOOO I missed posting about my weigh in for Tuesday… It was a very dissapointing week though.. I had a 3 pound gain this week… :/// So I’m back up to 214… I think with the terrible week I had last week eating wise I expected it though…. But today I had a completely on track day woohoo! :] And I started using my calorie tracker today and I came in 43 calories under my daily alotment of 1200 :]]] The only thing I went over was my protein :/ haha. So hopefully at next weeks weigh in I can at least get back down to 211.. 210 would be nice haha! We’ll see how it goes though! My dr appt yesterday went well though. Found some possible causes for the problems I’ve been having and hopefully after an endoscopy the first week of March I’ll have a much better idea of what it is. Really dreading the procedure… First real kind of procedure I’ll have ever had :/ But I don’t think it will be to bad haha! I also ordered a new pair of running shoes today… They’re pretty awesome :] I’ll post a pic below. As far as progress pics go I added one to my progress tab at the top! Hope everyone else is having a successful week! Here’s to health and happiness :]

New shooooes :]] Can’t wait to get them in! :]]

So I’m catching up for the past 3 horrible days… I have eaten like crap… stress from school definitely caught up to me and drug me doooown. I let myself just eat and snack and eat crap. It kind of really irks me that I just can’t seem to stick with a plan even though I want it so bad… Maybe its because I don’t have like a completely set plan? I think that I need to start doing it setting out a complete schedule of what I’m going to be eating ever day for the week. I know my main problem is being rushed in the mornings and not having time to get my food together. So I grab crap to eat and go through fast food or snack all day… I got some more healthy foods today so I think I’ll make out the list tonight. I think that will help me to stick to it a lot. I can make my meals the night before and then just grab and go in the morning! I hope everyone is having a much more successful week than I am… I definitely don’t expect any loss tomorrow at weigh in.. but to maintain would be nice.. haha! We’ll catch everyone later! :]

So yesterday I was super upset and yes I emotionally ate. I hate it. But I did it. So there’s that. haha! But I did have a good dinner last night! Some salmon and corn haha! And I was doing really well all day until I got sabotaged! They do it on purpose I just know it! lol! My future hubby brought me a sonic sprite and cherry… my fav! :] Then our director at work brought everyone ice cream sandwiches… I hadn’t had one in years and I couldn’t resist! Oh it was tasty! My fiance wants chinese for dinner tonight… I’ve been debating on whether or not I’ll eat that with him but my stomach has been giving me problems all day so I doubt I will.. Chinese normally makes me sick anyway so I don’t want to make it worse.. I think I’m kind of feeling like a zaxbys salad :] but they’re so expensive :/ hmm we’ll see haha. I really want to get my exercise ball out tonight too.. as weird as it sounds I miss doing it. But I wear out so easy that I can’t really get the full workout in :[ I can’t wait to get to the Dr next week and figure out whats going on! Well I still have 4 hours of work left… It has really been dragging by today.. I can’t wait to get out of here! haha! Well I guess I need to get to working on some homework.. Hope everyone else is having a successful week! See you later!