Becoming Tawnya

The beginning of this post has nothing to do with diet or health.

I had a dream last night about getting a DSLR. It’s permanently engraved in my brain now that I NEED one. I’ve been obsessing about it. Well, I haven’t started researching, so I really don’t know how much it will cost. The last time I wanted one—about 7 years ago—they were around 1000 dollars. I’ve heard that people can get them for 600 nowadays. I must begin research.

I weighed in t 154.8 again this morning. I even ate ice cream last night. I wonder if it will catch up with me, or if I burned enough on my little bike ride. Nikki asked me if I had a goal for my loss. I guess my answer is “not a solid goal”. I imagine I have about 20 pounds of loss to go, but I think 30 would be pushing my health. I don’t know. I’m 5′5” and I have a small frame, so it might be able to happen. 124 seems so tiny for a person my height. I 134 sounds good. I guess my plan is to go until my body stops—I mean, stops losing fat, not death.

So food was good yesterday. I was hungry, but didn’t have appetite. I cried on the way to WalMart to get catfood. Well, not a full cry. I think it’s the soy in my diet. I have gotten weepy in the past if I had too much soy in my diet—BUT I LOVE IT, so I’ll just stick with being weepy. I’d rather be a baby than an angry person—which is what FAT makes me.

Today I swim with the kids. My Speedo is so dang tight, but I’ll survive. I wish it had a skirt, as my inner thighs are pretty jiggly yet. At least my quads are defined from biking. What can I say, I was 265 pounds at one point!? My body is fine now. I’m quite happy this way—well, despite the 20 pounds I want off.

My gosh, ramble city here. I used a breathe right last night and slept hard. Got up at 6:30am. Good. It’s 7 now. I should plan my food, and scoot. My work hours are awkward as I am driving at lunch time, so I’ve just been planning snacks and calling it lunch. Seems to working fine though, guess I don’t need too much to be satisfied. Yesterday I ate Malto Meal and a banana and I was stuffed to the gills.

• B: grapefruit and banana
• S: bread n jam
• L: Cheese stick
• S: apple
• D: Chicken or pork chops with side salad and German potatoes.
• S: MAYBE ice cream again—if I am craving chocolate.

Oh yeah, last night for dinner I had ½ spam-turkey sandwich—which really is portion—and 1 c of wild rice. I was stuffed with that too. It’s sorta nice being so full on such little food. It just shows me how amazing the human body really is.

—-> Another side note that has nothing to do with diet. And I might have already written this, but I am going to again. I started studying CSS for web design out of a book that I got from the library. I like it so much that I don’t want to give it back so I ordered my own copy from half.com—16 bucks.

And… my mood is so much more mellow since my revelation yesterday. All is well. It’s amazing what the smallest flash of light can do to my brain.

That’s it at this point.

LearningTawnya signing off.

Filed under: Healthy Living