Becoming Tawnya

This morning it’s 36°. I can’t believe it. It’s raining though. I suppose that’s good for the buds that are everywhere! It’s dreary today. I hope the sun comes out later.

I have been watching the scale increase a little more every few weeks. Today is the all time high. I just don’t seem to care! Lately I tell myself that summer is coming and that I’ll be able to get on the bike. I would have 10 pounds to lose to be at the number I was at last summer. I have been eating a “meal” for lunch instead of “pieces of food” to tide me over until dinner. That’s part of the gain. I have been eating cookies too. I’ve been feeling such bad feelings lately that I am once again turning to food for comfort. “Code of the Old Ways…” Sigh. What the hell else am I supposed to do? I’ve pretty much snapped and now just floating in my dysfunction. But even at this, I haven’t hit bottom. I can still have a pretty bad attitude and go into a depression. Maybe I find comfort there too?

For two people who want to go through life the most healthy as possible, we don’t have dreams or goals. Not together anyway. Sweetie would like to get into woodworking and sell furniture and he’s started making stuff. I don’t have dreams though and I don’t have any goals set with my husband to meet as a couple. I have hobbies that keep boredom at bay at most.

Okay… nuff said this morning. lol I starting trailing off and thinking. Gonna go lite a candle and pray.

Filed under: Healthy Living