So here I am, joining a blog site to hopefully chronicle some much anticipated weight loss. As to how I came to the point where I decided I needed to blog about my decision to become healthier, well I don’t really know the true answer to that. Perhaps its because I need some accountability. I’m 29 years old, and have been overweight for a good majority of the last 10 of them. I was always quite slim growing up, to the point where I was actually deemed underweight in high school. My nickname was string bean because I was always so tall, and skinny. I remember continually hoping and praying that I’d get some “meat on my bones” one day. Well that day came, and all I learned was that you should really be careful for what you wish for.
I can come up with a bazillion excuses as to why I let myself get so big, but when it boils down to it, laziness really is the key as far as my situation goes. Finally (I always was a slow learner), I have decided that I really want to do this, to finally lose weight and be proud of myself, and what better place to chronicle it, but here. So here it goes!
So first a disclaimer* If anyone does manage to stumble upon this blog of mine and actually read it, I should be forthcoming in the fact that it will most definitely be riddled with run on sentences and grammatical errors. Spelling mistakes and me go together like pb & j. Also, I’m extremely sarcastic, so be prepared, almost 95% of the things I say are in zest, but I do realize sarcasm rarely interprets well when put on paper as opposed to real life.
Okay, so now that I have that out of the way, I’ve decided to announce my first step on my goal to a healthier life. For anyone who knows me, they would know my biggest vice in this world is cheese, and I don’t discriminate, it can be any kind of cheese and I’d be all over it. As we all know, most cheese isn’t all that great if your trying to lose weight. So, I’ve made a huge decision to break up with cheese. As hard as this is, I think it really is the best way to help me, but because I love it so much, I’ve gone ahead and wrote it a goodbye letter:
Dearest Cheese,
I’m writing you this letter because I cannot even fathom the idea of doing this in person, for my will power is not great enough. You’ve been the one constant in my life, through thick and thin, good and bad you have always been there to comfort me no matter what. However I’ve come to realize lately that the thick has been the case much more than the thin, and that you may be the reason for that.
I’ve denied this for so long my love. I’ve blamed my soft tummy on the bread, I’ve ridiculed chocolate for my chunky ass, never once taking into account that I rarely eat bread and don’t really like chocolate. I’ve made myself believe it’s been the downfall for me because I just couldn’t believe it was you. It couldn’t have been you, the love of my life, the one thing I could never do without. You’ve been there for me through the awkward teenage years, through the break ups, and the hard times and more importantly you’ve been with me through the good times.
I experienced my first threesome with you, Gouda has never been the same since that night. I’ve loved all your different personalities, each for their unique traits they shared with me. Jalepeno Havarti, you were always a bit spicy but never failed to make me feel just a little bit excited. Feta, what can I say about you other than you made vegetables come alive for me. Parmesan and Asiago, you two were like the fabulous twin sisters I could have experimented in college with, and then never told anyone about. Fontina and Mascarpone, we never really had a lot of time together, but I loved you both just the same as I did the others. Swiss, you and I had our conflicts but in the end, we came around to understand one another. Last but not least, my dear, sweet Cheddar. Words can’t express what I feel for you, just know I loved you, and know the reason for us having to part ways is all me, and not you.
Love always,
Rayni
