The skinny friend, now fat

Right back where I started from

I’ve been avoiding the scales for months, ever since I reached my goal and fell back into eating whatever I pleased, whenever I pleased. So I shouldn’t be surprised. Somehow, I coasted along these past months, eating tubs of ice cream, cakes, margarine on toast, McDonalds, KFC, everything I want…and thinking, gee, I can eat whatever I like…fooling myself into thinking I wouldn’t gain weight, well, no surprise, I’ve just about gained back every kilo I lost. Now, I’m faced with losing it all again, and with less points because this time I’m not breastfeeding.

I don’t think I have any issues with mood and food. My weakness is bingeing - eating the whole tub of ice cream in a night. I find it really hard to want to lose weight. My husband said to me on the weekend that I’ve let myself go. I have. My marriage has been bumpy since the baby was born, and these last few months I could have happily kicked him out - we got to the stage where I thought there was no hope, and I never thought it would get there. I honestly couldn’t see a way forward. When we spoke it was bitter and nasty and I didn’t even like looking at him. But there’s a lot to be said for a quick tumble in bed and it did wonders, so we’re getting along much better.

I think the reason I have let myself go is; why not? I think I’m at the stage where I’m too old to be bothered. I’m too old to dress in skimpy clothes and catch a man’s eye - and I don’t miss it. I’m too lazy. But, I do miss dressing in nice clothes. I hate trying to find coats or tops to hide my stomach. So, I guess it’s time to get back on track. Wish me luck.

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