The skinny friend, now fat

The power of the scales can make or break you.

It has been about three or four weeks since I have posted on here. Below is an excerpt of the early days, which were the hardest.

January

Monday. Almost gave in. It is a week since I started my diet. I weighed myself this morning. I weigh less than when I started. My scales are often out and I have to tap them before I weigh myself. Yesterday the scales hovered just past 65. This morning they were on 66. It’s amazing how that tiny amount can make you want to give up. I felt deflated and wanted to eat chocolate. My Internet connection stopped working, so no blog to keep me on track. Luckily I was able to save myself from doing anything to sabotage my diet when I got hooked into clothes shopping by my daughter. This turned out to be a good thing, as the clothes I picked up and tried on were a size smaller than the size I tried on last shopping excursion. And they fit!! That made me feel really good and encouraged me to keep going.

My diet is pretty enjoyable. I had a version of our bacon pasta bake last night. I had ham with a low fat slice of cheese broken over the top. The sauce was more watery than I usually made it, but by leaving the dish to stand a while, it became thicker. To me it tasted just the same as the bacon pasta I usually made. I followed the meal by having a Weight Watchers ice cream tub. It really hit the spot.

Tuesday.

I am drinking skim milk cappuccinos now, and boy are they terrible. Now I know why I thought cappuccinos had gotten better – they hadn’t gotten better, they just taste better with full fat milk. I am thinking of giving them a miss, it’s really not worth it. I could have a small strawberry shake for around the same points and at least it tastes better.

Saturday

It’s been 13 days since I started. This week has been a struggle, but I’ve managed to keep on track. I am now 65kg and hovering slightly under. Yesterday morning my stomach looked noticeably smaller, even my waist looked trimmer. I can’t wait to hit 64kg. I haven’t been that weight since I was pregnant. Tonight is take-away night. I am already trying to decide what I’ll have instead of take away.

My diet has not been boring, and apart from the first few days, I have not had much salad by itself. I find I need some sort of carb, either bread or pasta at dinnertime to fill me up. My treat every night after dinner is a Weight Watchers sundae. Sometimes it is two, depending on how many points I have and how much will power I can exert. I haven’t exercised much at all, except for the odd short walk. I keep some sort of fruit in the house, either grapes, a mango or a banana. These are a good side addition to lunch or for a snack mid-afternoon.

My daughter said I shouldn’t be eating ice cream because I’m on a diet. I shouldn’t really use the word diet. I should say, healthy eating plan, or weight loss plan. Because it’s really training myself how to properly eat again, instead of eating large amounts of whatever I want, whenever I want. The thing is, I can eat these treats like ice cream and lose weight. I can have a handful of potato chips or a McDonalds shake and still lose weight. The thing is making choices. I could cut out bread, pasta, sugar and really deprive myself, but I know a diet involving this wouldn’t work for me. My sister went on a no-carb diet and lost weight. That diet was a perfect for her. I would have failed on it, and starved.

 Febuary 15.

It has been about three or four weeks since I have posted on here. Once I reached my two week goal, my new goal was to get down to pre pregnancy weight of 60kg by first week in March. I am now 63kg, have given in now and then but managed to get back on track. Today was one of those days where I was ready to head off to the coffee shop and have a cheesecake with a cappucino. Then I tried on one of my old tops and I looked slimmer and I thought, “I don’t really need that cheesecake. I only have 2 and a half weeks left to get down to 60kg. I want to make it.” So I went to the fruit and veg shop instead and bought fruit. I’m going to have a healthy lunch and I feel so much better that I haven’t taken a step backwards today. Last night I made the mistake of buying 2x 4packs of caramel rice pudding because they were on special. I have avoided them up til now, because they send my cravings sky high and afterward I just want to eat another, then more junk, then more sugary stuff. And so it was. I ate three. 9 points over my daily points. I was relieved when I got on the scales this morning and found I was still 63kg. There is nothing worse than seeing you have gained weight back. This will be a lesson to me, buy individual or not at all. It’s not worth it.

I’m feeling energetic today, and I really want to go for a walk to help boost my weight loss. I’ve planned what I’m having for lunch. I have yummy fruit as a snack if I feel like it. Back on track for today. I have lost around 5kg so far.

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