I have been “secretly” eating.  Heather and I haven’t grocery shopped together in a while and I have bought things like donuts, cookies, chips, ice cream, ect. and eaten them before she gets home, buying things on my way to work or eating vast amounts of fast food.  I haven’t been exercising more than a day or so a week.  I feel like a big fat loser and I’m sick of it.  More than feeling like a loser, I am so embarrased to be telling people that I eat that much.  I never considered myself a binge eater until now.  Maybe I didn’t want the label but that’s what I’ve always been.  Ever since I could drive, I’ve been the girl who goes through a fast food drive through and orders enough for 2, only to eat all the food in my car, alone.  I don’t know how to break this “addiction”, if that’s what it is but I am ready to start.

Heather and I decided to make a couple challenges for ourselves.  We are both HUGE Twilight fans and want to go see New Moon but decided to make that a reward for losing 10lbs.  That will make me think twice before eating off plan or skipping the gym.  We also want to see The Blind Side.  For that one we decided to make a goal of going to the gym 20 times before we can see it.   I think this might work, better than a food reward, which is what we used to do.  Idiots… 

Today I turned in my application to be a Road Warrior for the 25k race next year. 

Here’s the explanation from the website - What is a road warrior? Join the Fifth Third River Bank Run reality team. The team consists of both veteran and novice runners who serve as ambassadors for the Fifth Third River Bank Run. They are also challenged to try new training methods, test new gear and participate in the 25K road race on Saturday, May 8, 2010.  Road Warriors are required to share their journey with the community by blogging on a weekly basis at www.53riverbankrun.com about their progress and how the challenges impacted their performance. Twenty (20) finalists will be selected for the interview portion of which 10 participants will ultimately be deemed as the 2010 Fifth Third River Bank Run Road Warriors!

Here’s what you win - The Road Warriors’ benefits will include a 25K entry, BROOKS running apparel, one pair of BROOKS running shoes, Road Warrior shirt, training kick off shirt, race day wicking shirt, three-month YMCA membership, runGazelle or Gazoom training program, analysis with Metro Health Sports Medicine, complimentary entries to other select races, nutrionalist access, complimentary outfit (provided by Gazelle Sports) for the fashion show on Friday, May 7, 2010, pasta dinner tickets, race day hospitality area and parking, and post race dinner.

Here’s what I wrote in as My Story - ( In 300 words or less, it was hard to cut it down to that ) I want to be a Fifth Third River Bank Run Road Warrior because:  I’m not the typical runner and that can be very motivating to others like me. For as long as I can remember I have been overweight. I’ve tried many different times and ways to lose weight but nothing ever worked. In September of 2008 I got on the scale at my heaviest, 327lbs. I realized that I was slowly killing myself. Something in me clicked and I joined the YMCA to start my new Life. I spent months walking on tread mils and using ellipticals while watching the scale. I wanted to set some goals for myself that weren’t based on my weight. I decided that I wanted to be a runner. I picked a 5k, registered and started training. I could barely run 60 seconds at a time but I didn’t care. The time it took me to finish the race wasn’t important. My goal was just to complete what I started. It wasn’t until my 3rd 5k race that I actually ran the entire distance. It was one of the best feelings I’ve experienced. I began to set my goals higher, was it possible I could run a 10k? Of course! I found a training buddy, figured out a training schedule and before I knew it, race day was here. Just 13 months after beginning my journey and after losing over 100lbs, I ran an entire 10k! The 327lbs woman from last year would never have dreamed it was possible. My next goal is to complete the 25k in May. If it’s possible to also encourage, motivate and show others like me that their goals are achievable, how can I not except the challenge to become a Road Warrior?

Keep your finger’s crossed because I think this would be an AWESOME experience!!

Tonight we are renting movies and ordering pizza instead of going to my friend’s Halloween party because her 4 year old has H1N1. Poor guy can’t trick or treat, but is doing ok otherwise.

It went pretty good. I did level 1, obviously. The push ups and side lunge with lateral raises were the toughest part for me. I had to take a couple quick breaks in those sections. I was covered in sweat when I was done though, so I guess I didn’t rest too much.

I took pictures and measurements today and will post them on my 30 Day Shred page soon.

This week will be a little different because everything is in the air for me. I’m off of work after tomorrow because I have Jury Duty. So I may be busy all week and not able to get in many good workouts or I may be free all week and have to make sure I don’t eat everything I see if I get bored.

Next week I’m doing the Wendie Plan again to jump start my weight loss again. For some reason I can’t get past the 222lbs. I hit that and bounce between 228 and 225lbs. I want the 2-teens!!

I went on a 4 mile run this morning.  I bought a new running jacket, on sale… originally $36, I paid $9!  It’s really nice and keeps me warm in the 35 degree weather.

Last year on this same weekend, Patti and I walked in the Step Out: To Fight Diabetes walk.   At the time, I was thinking about starting to run and that it might be fun to get into racing.  We saw the 5/10k-ers going over the bridge with us and no one looked like they were having any fun.  I thought, “Maybe I won’t get into that”.  Now I run 5 and 10k’s and LOVE IT!

I got brand new Mizuno running shoes yesterday!  They are awesome! 

Laura and I turned into hardcore runners yesterday too.  ( I think ) We ran 4 miles in a downpour. Our 10k is tomorrow and it’s been raining all week.  I’m hoping the weather guy is right and there isn’t any rain for the run.  Right now Saturday is the only clear sky day, so I guess we’ll see.

I went for a 3 miler yesterday and Laura and I are doing a full 10k tomorrow.

I have to stay this focused. I WILL NOT go back to being 300+ pounds…. EVER!

My friend took this picture  on Thursday. (it’s her baby, don’t get any ideas!) It’s the first picture I looked at without having it next to an old photo, that I noticed how small I am getting.