14 Apr, 2010
Posted by: Hilary In: Weight Loss Goal
Wow. It has been a while since I’ve been here. I was going to cancel my account but just couldn’t bring myself to delete everything. I’ve been blogging on and off about my weight loss since Sept of 2008. I feel like I have given up. I used to KNOW it was possible to hit my weight goal but now I feel like it’s lost and will never be found. I got down to 219 in December and am currently back to 255. I know that I gain weight fast and yet, I’m doing nothing about it. I have my first 25k race coming in 1 month. I am NOT ready. I was training very hard at first, then I let my eating slip. Once I stopped eating right, the running started to go from 3 times a week to maybe 1 time. Then nothing. I have excuses, of course. I just started a new job. I work different hours than I was used to. We have been working long days and fitting a run in at night isn’t what I want to do. But I have to start. It’s starting to get scary. Am I going to end up 300+ pounds again. Hating my life. Where is the determination I had last year? Where is the person who lost 100 lbs in 11 months? Where is the person everyone says motivates them to eat right or get exercising? I feel like a hypocrite. I talk about my training, I give running advise, I encourage people to go for their goals and yet I sit on my couch at night and eat McDonald’s. Which person in this picture do I want to be?