A year……. November 20, 2009
It has been almost a year since I started this blog……I am 8 pounds heavier, 10 times more stressed, I have half the time I started with, and I have no idea where to start!!!!!!
I am FAT……I am UNHEALTHY, I am MISERABLE, I am UNHAPPY!!!!
As a child I was fat, I had no friends: not because I was fat…..But because I was insecure. No one liked me unless they really got to know me. I was the first to make a fat joke. I was the one to say what everyone thought. I made people laugh….. but I also made them uncomfortable. I still do that today. I am now in nursing school with 46 other people and the only friend I have is the one I have been friends with since the 4th grade.
I noticed today that people avoid me . Well it is not like I did not know it. But I didn’t want to think about it. My husband told me once it was because I was pushy, my best friend told me it was because I was cold. I guess I am both of those things, but you know I am also the best friend a person can have. I really care about the people I get close to and I will sacrifice myself for their happiness.
The only thing is no one gets me. I am not happy with me and it has nothing to do with my weight. My weight is a product of my unhappiness. I am a social cluts and I am stumbling through life knocking people down. Food is my friend……How Pathetic!!
Today I decided to do myself a favor and focus on me. I am tired of trying to make friends and falling all over myself to get people to like me. One year later I am nowhere. I am still unhappy, I am still out of control, I am still in bad health. I am going to start with a clean slate and devise a NEW strategy.
I am going to watch what I eat, find anyway to move, and take one day at a time. I am not setting any goals except %. I am not putting a time limit to my goals because if I don’t meet them I just quit all together.
Concider this my before picture.