The Girl Who Ate Angie

I’m tired, I think I am getting sick.  I will write tomorrow.

I spent the better part of the morning trying to motivate my husband out the door to the grocery.  I ended up shopping at a thrift store, eating at Chili’s and dumping him and the kids off at home, so I could actually get to the grocery.

I wanted to get more healthy food than I did, but my goal was to get Thanksgiving necessities and staples.  So I did buy some Activia yogurt because a girl I work for said it did wonders for her diet.  I ate a fiber one bar last night and I don’t think the gas I usually have with it was as bad this time.

No exercise, well unless you count 3 hours in the Walmart shopping.  My feet hurt and I didn’t eve burn off my Chili’s I am sure.  Although I only ate half of the meal I ordered.  I have had 5 Cokes today and I feel terrible about it.  The weekendsare the hardest, it is like a free for all.

So today I am back and blogging, that is always a positive.  I am slowly getting organized in this effort and I think I am going to walk in the morning if the rain holds off till later. If not, I will do something else for exercise.

I am going to check the boards out and some blogs for inspiration.

It has been almost a year since I started this blog……I am 8 pounds heavier, 10 times more stressed, I have half the time I started with, and I have no idea where to start!!!!!!

I am FAT……I am UNHEALTHY, I am MISERABLE, I am UNHAPPY!!!!

As a child I was fat, I had no friends: not because I was fat…..But because I was insecure.  No one liked me unless they really got to know me.  I was the first to make a fat joke.  I was the one to say what everyone thought.  I made people laugh….. but I also made them uncomfortable.  I still do that today.  I am now in nursing school with 46 other people and the only friend I have is the one I have been friends with since the 4th grade.

I noticed today that people avoid me .  Well it is not like I did not know it. But I didn’t want to think about it.  My husband told me once it was because I was pushy, my best friend told me it was because I was cold.  I guess I am both of those things, but you know I am also the best friend a person can have.  I really care about the people I get close to and I will sacrifice myself for their happiness.

The only thing is no one gets me. I am not happy with me and it has nothing to do with my weight.  My weight is a product of my unhappiness.  I am a social cluts and I am stumbling through life knocking people down.  Food is my friend……How Pathetic!!

Today I decided to do myself a favor and focus on me.  I am tired of trying to make friends and falling all over myself to get people to like me.  One year later I am nowhere.  I am still unhappy, I am still out of control, I am still in bad health.  I am going to start with a clean slate and devise a NEW strategy.

I am going to watch what I eat, find anyway to move, and take one day at a time.  I am not setting any goals except %.  I am not putting a time limit to my goals because if I don’t meet them I just quit all together.

Concider this my before picture.