the binge eater diaries

calories: 2200

weight:185

achievements:  done some PT and walking.  ate reasonably well this day compared to over eating the last couple.  getting back on track.

areas to improve:  could do alot.  not been doing well with diet.  it seems that i get back on eating alot of starchy foods and drinking coffee and pop, it takes me days to feel better again.

Really want for 1600 cals to be my goal.  thinking about it now though, since it’s hard for me to hit that maybe i’ll start with a 1900 cal allowance and see if that’s easier to hit.

weight: 181

calories: 1645

achievements:  went to the gym, ~30minutes, did PT and am doing better at core.  hair looks nice and seems to be shedding less  in a good mood at work(this is getting weird )  did housework in the kitchen.  Ate dinner at home.  Reviewed coursework for summer classes.  Decided against 1300$ vaccume, and ordered clothes and books instead for much much less.

areas to improve:  Plan out meals more precisely.  increase cardio intensity and do PT and balance work in the am’s or PT (esp. standing on one leg) and a short jog in the am’s.  Be calm and know that everything will work out in the end.  and i can accomplish anything I choose to, i just have to do the work and do the best i can.  be positive and believe in myself.

feel: good

inspiration:  MJ. for being talented, and believing in himself.  having a dream and a vision and going for it. For being the best and making music that formed me, influenced and shaped my life.   For being different. For being a perfectionist where it made a difference. For defining the 80’s for me.  For being the first music act i really got into. and for being the first and only record i ever owned!   I still love the J5  xmas CD and listen to it to death last xmas.  best xmas album ever! so happy and cheerful, just like xmas is supposed to be  I always knew you would make a comeback, i just never thought it would be after your death.  I am glad you are being remembered for the great musician and dancer you were.  I never believed those allegations.

weight:182

calories:2425 (+825)

achievements:  walked 2.4 miles. good attitude at work. no coffee dispite being tired, so tired.

work on: eating ~1600 calories.  see what that does for my wieght loss.  getting enough sleep and rest and doing PT more often.  eat filling foods.

feel: tired

weight: 180

calories: 2100 (+500)

achievments: over the past 3 days, i have swam 45 mins on mon and teus. and found i could breath on every other stoke, rather than every stroke.  it feel more streamlined and like a better workout. today i threw caution and housework to the wind and drove 2.5 hours to the lake where i stayed ~4 hours on the beach and visited my favorite little town up there  got some info on stand up paddle surfing at the little surf shop.  didn’t spend too much, got some cute flip flops there for 5$.  managed to be in a pretty good mood.  sucked up the courage to go ask the nocturnal neighbors to turn down their radio and keep their voices down and what to my surprize, they obliged.  pretty nice kids, considering what i’ve heard about that family.  but it felt good to finally just ask them nicely rather than calling the cops, who i don’t think were coming out anyway.  consequently, i slept great  that night .

areas to improve:  i think i will go out and jog tomorrow am.  at least a mile.  that, or in the afternoon.  also,  this afternoon, i’ll revamp my diet to include plans for more fish, eggs, lentils and beans, raw nuts and avocados and plenty of veggies and fresh herbs.  exclude coffee and pop. and drink more water and tea, along with preboitics and probiotics. Also, research alkalizing diets and work that in.

for tomorrow am and lunch, pearls and acv to kick off the am, and my 2 figs at intervals in the morning. if i’m hungry, i’ve got pecans in my desk drawer, then for lunch, my normal salad.  and fruit of course.  i have lentils for dinner, but i’ll plan dinner and after work snacks tomorrow afternoon.

also, pay the bills, or at least get a start on it.  and pick a few other tasks to do @ the house.

feel:  good, but worried/concerned ~ my hair.  i swear i’d be a different person if i wasn’t worried about it.

inspiration:  try and be the person you’d be if you were beautiful

weights:180,182

calories: ?(alot), 2510

weight: 181

calories:2330 (+730)

acheivements:  walked for 2.4 miles, while thinking of good posture.  did my planks.  ate pretty sensibly, considering i was at my moms.  was in a good mood at work.

ok, a little later,  i did some things around the house.  little by little, that’s all i can do.

areas to improve on:  i feel alot of the time like i’m not loosing weight like i used to be able to.  and it gets me discouraged.  but…..if i look at my total calories on here, and take into account that i’m not as active as i used to be during past weight loss ventures, it is clear that i am not cutting my calories enough and not doing enough physical exercise compared to what i did in the past.  So before feeling like a failure, i should implement these changes, then see where we are.

feel: ok.

inspiration:  just DO something! anything!

weight:181

calories:1620

achievements: right on with the calories  i made a tuna salad and lentils and was satisfied with them.  had a good day at work.  i walked a mile, would have done more, it was beautiful out , but i was getting a blister and forgot socks. i did my plank for 40 seconds and dead bugs.  i baked a cheesecake for fathers day and did not feel stressed about it washed dishes.  had enough energy to do that, and that is really saying something for me.  i made some herbal iced tea. the cat spilled it….

areas to improve:  working out.  after work tomorrow i should go swimming, either that or to the weight room and work on the indo board.  i did good today with feeling like i had energy.  i know thats a strange thing to think you have control over, and i ‘m not sure that i do, but taking it easy and focusing on one task at a time gets me to be more productive.  there are a few tasks i’ve been putting off that i could try to focus on tomorrow, one would be some gardening i’ve been meaning to do, put in the screen windows, fill out that paper work, hang blinds and change oven lightbulb.

feel: positive

inspiration:  me when i’m happy.  i don’t know if i’ll ever be thin ,but if i eat well and get more active, even if running isn’t an option, i’ll feel better.  my motive is to be happy.

weight:180

calories:2502 (+902)

achievements:  i got up at 5 am and jogged once around the block ~<1mile.  and my knee is no worse for wear :)  i did some PT incl. dead bugs and one leg balances.  i stretched and massaged sore muscles.  i was in a pretty good mood at work most of the day. i’ve come to terms with my frizzy hair and even sorta like it  I’m getting less dependant on food in order to enjoy myself.  the idea of cooking my own fresh meals is starting to appeal to me again   i cooked some lentils

areas to improve:  calories.  i’d be happy if they were below 2000, although 1600 would be my ideal for weight loss i think.  i just need to think it out better and even write out a meal plan.  i just need to include filling foods like eggs, cheese and avocados and walnuts in order to make it filling.  also, the gym is closed tomorrow, so i’ll have to either go to the work gym or do some jogging in the am again and/ or walking after work.  I think i’m afraid to make a meal plan cuz i’m afraid i wont stick with it.

feel: sluggish

inspiration:  i’m starting to get excited about loosing weight and really starting to feel like becoming active again could be a reality.  it’s all coming around.

weight: 181

calories: 1940 (+340)

achievements: I went to the gym as planned and did all the machines i went through with my trainer save one. but i added in another that works the same muscle groups.  i did some PT and balanced on the disk for 1 minute per leg.  getting better at it.  i slept mostly well last night.  i put lavender sprigs from my garden under my pillow and in my car.  I did not go to panera, i made a salad instead and i am starting to crave fruits as much as any desert.  i said nay to a cuppa coffee, even a small one.  i stayed in a good mood at work dispite having someone elses work heaped on me.  i did a few things around the house. I feel alot better having came home after work rather than splurged at a coffee shop and i feel i was more productive.

and, i like my hair today

areas to improve:  i’ve noticed i need to keep up with my core PT exersizes and find ways to strengthen my knee and stabilize it. for running.   I could trim a few calories, but i’m not going to push it because it’s way lower than what it previously had been.  i’m just glad i’m not craving and binging on what ever.

I’ve made a list of some phone calls to make tomorrow.  i think i will get up at 5 am and jog once around the block with dog. or walk/jog if i think my knees can’t take it yet.

feel: pretty good.

inspiration: Finding the book “the Chi of Running” has given me new hope.  i didn’t buy or read it, i just know it’ s out there, but perhaps the library can order it for me.

weight:181

calories:1800 (+200)

accomplishments:  walked/jogged for over one hour at nearby park.  felt so much better after.  it felt like the me of old:)  even though the running was interspersed with walking, it still felt like a good work out.  but the best part is that my knees arent hurting, and the running segments weren’t painful.  Also, i ate well today with lots of fresh greens and veggies and fruits.  i did some cleaning around the house.

areas to improve:  I want to start the jogging in the mornings again. but i’ll wait until sat. since work might be busy the next 2 days. tomorrow i will go to the gym for wieght lifting, either after work or sometime in the pm.  and most of all i need to relax and take things a little at a time.  No one sets these high bars for me but me.

inspriation:  the good feeling i had after running, then coming home and showering