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Second Chances April 3, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — jmargulis @ 9:29 am

I’ve neglected this blog quite a bit and, unfortunately, this isn’t the only thing I’ve been neglectful about. It has been a very slow past several months, weight loss-wise. It has taken me about 5 months to lose this last 20 pounds, but I’m happy to have those pounds off because I haven’t been very diligent about it. I think the worst has been the past month and a half where I was basically eating fast food three meals a day and not paying attention to anything I was putting into my mouth. I’m not sure why I went on this path, but it wasn’t a good one. I kept using as my excuse the fact that I hadn’t been to the grocery store, but that was just kind of ridiculous. I also avoided my Weight Watchers meetings because I knew what the results would be and I was just too chicken to face it. Fortunately I finally got to a place where I was absolutely sick of the fast food and was actually craving good, healthy things. My body needed vegetables! So, I spent this last week following the plan and overloading myself with fruit and veggies because I was always hungry! To be honest, I was afraid that eating so much fruit would actually hurt me even though they now have Points Plus values of zero. I’m not sure why I was so hungry, but I’m going to just imagine that it was because my body was so happy to be fed correctly that it just wanted more and more good, healthy food. Either way, it was really hard to fight those cravings and the urge to indulge, but I worked through it. Yesterday I finally went back to a meeting after a month and a half absence. I was prepared to face the music and was pretty sure that I had gained at least 10 lbs since my last visit on February 12th, so imagine my surprise when my weight registered lower than it had on my last visit. I had actually LOST 2.8 lbs! I have NO idea how that happened, but I’m just so thankful and I feel like I’ve been given a second chance. I’m focused again and I’m going to consider this a very, very lucky gift. I’m now at 93.6 lbs lost and really would like to get to 100 by the end of the month… I think that if I stay on track I can do it!


Right on Track October 31, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — jmargulis @ 6:16 am

So, I’m still on track to make 100 lbs lost by year end. As long as I keep up this pace of about 2lbs per week, I’ll make it. Thing is, I know full-well that my weight loss never works like that. I’m sure I’ll still make it to 100, but I’ll probably see some small gains and some bigger losses along the way. I have definitely noticed a pattern to my weight loss, but maybe I can break it if I keep working out and staying on plan.

So, today is Halloween and I’ve been guilted into going to a get-together this evening. I tried to get out of it because I didn’t want to have to face the temptations, but I’m going to make a go of it. My plan is to spend my time walking door-to-door with my friend’s little girl so that I stay away from the food and candy that will be there. I do still have all of my weekly extra points, so if I do have a hotdog or a piece of candy, I’ll still be on plan. However, I’d prefer to save my points for later in the week when I plan on indulging in my very favorite food, fish tacos! Good heavens, I love those things and I just do not tire of them. So, that will be my incentive to stay away from the goodies this evening… my upcoming fish taco extravaganza.

Beyond that, I’ve been trying to kick up my exercise regimen. My plan at the beginning of last week was to make it a 5-day a week kind of thing, but that did not happen. I did Zumba one night and a kick-boxing video the next, but that was the end of it. To be honest, I was SORE! My joints hurt and I think I did something weird to my heel during all of the jumping around during Zumba. However, I plan to get back on track this week and try to go for at least 4 days. It’s time to get serious!

Happy Halloween!


100 By Year End October 24, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — jmargulis @ 7:48 pm

I haven’t checked in for a while. Between work and other little slices of life, things have been a tad hectic. I’ve been trudging along on the weight-loss front, but I did have a month of two of just kind of existing. I lost my focus for a while and even though I didn’t go off the deep end, things definitely kind of stalled out. Well, I’m back on track now and working hard to meet my goal of losing 100 lbs by the end of the year. I started last week out with needing to lose another 28 lbs to make that happen, but I got an unexpected boost in the form of a 7 lb loss this past week. Now I only have 21 to go! That gave me just the motivation I needed to really put the pedal to the metal and get moving. I think I can do it!

In other news, this next week is my last at my current job. It’s bitter sweet, but I’m happy about the move I’m making because it will combine an exciting challenge with a better work/life balance. I’m hopeful that my new flexibility and improved work schedule (40 hours per week instead of 50-60+) will help keep me on track. I also see an opportunity for a lot more activity in my day, which can only help. If I start getting home at a reasonable hour I should have more time for exercise, which has been the missing piece of the puzzle in my journey thus far. While I am far more active than I was 79 lbs ago, I still haven’t committed seriously to an exercise regimen and I’m really going to need to kick that into gear if I want to achieve my goals.

A struggle I’m facing right now is the fact that I, personally, am not seeing the results in my physical appearance. I know it’s a weird psychological issue, but it still bothers me a tad. I’m obviously still incredibly overweight, but I’d hoped that 79 lbs would have made more of a difference in my body. I’ve been shopping in my own closet and can wear clothes that I didn’t fit into before, but at the same time, I’m still wearing pretty much all of my older clothes. They do fit differently (better or loose), but none of them are falling off yet. I’m waiting for the time when I put on a pair of pants that my hips just can’t hold up; that will be amazing! There are several tops that I’ve had to stop wearing because they just looked ridiculous, but that was mainly because I’ve lost so much on top. I’m very pear-shaped and, for some reason, I lose weight on top first. Come on hips, thighs, and butt… it’s your turn! I realize intellectually that I must look at least a little different, but I’d like to see something drastic. I also know that everything takes time, so I’m going to work on being patient and just keep on working towards goal. All in all, I am happy with the amount of weight I have lost, so I have to keep positive!

21 to go!


Tight Jeans July 18, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — jmargulis @ 9:30 pm

In this case, my jeans being tight was a really good thing.  I have a few pairs of jeans in my closet that I haven’t worn in about four years and I decided to try them on this evening… just to see.  The last time I tried them on, I couldn’t even get them over my hips, but today I was able to button and zip them with little effort.  They were super tight, but I LOVED having them on and it gives me a good idea of where I am size-wise.  I also wore a top that I haven’t worn in a long time.  I felt like a new person and when I looked in the mirror I could actually see my weight loss, which was the first time that has really happened since I’ve been on this journey.  It just felt good.  It’s nice to finally notice the 60 lb weight loss in myself.

Next goal: 75 lbs!


Big Changes July 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — jmargulis @ 9:15 am

It’s been a while since I last posted and my life has had some twists and turns.  I have now separated from my husband and have moved out of our house and into an apartment.  It’s certainly an adjustment, but I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.  The absence of the stress and tension in my everyday life has been really nice.  Right now I’m just focusing on rediscovering me.  With the exception of Memorial Day weekend, I have managed to stay on track with Weight Watchers throughout all of this and that really amazes me.  I’m definitely proud of that and I’m glad that this has become more of a ‘lifestyle’ for me than a ‘diet.’  At this point I’ve lost nearly 60 pounds.  60 pounds!  On one hand that sounds like so much, but on the other hand it’s just the tip of the iceberg.  Thing is, I’m not letting myself get caught up in the big picture and I’m just enjoying watching the scale move downward with every passing week.  This might take me a couple of years, but those years will pass whether or not I do this, so I might as well just do it.  I haven’t started noticing the drastic changes yet, but there are differences.  I’m still wearing the same clothes, but they definitely fit differently.  There are a few tops I’ve had to stop wearing because they’re too big, but the best thing is that I’m adding new tops to my wardrobe.  I’ve actually been shopping in my own closet and wearing things that I’ve never been able to wear.  That has really been nice.  I’m looking forward to the day when I can wear clothes in the next size down.  Right now my immediate goal is to be able to fit into jeans that I haven’t worn in over four years.  I still have them in my closet and once I get into those I’ll be the same size I was in my mid-twenties.  They are 30/32s, but have no stretch, so they’re on the smaller side of that size.  It’s crazy that I’ve been wearing that size or higher for over 15 years now.  Once I’m out of the 30/32s, I’ll be about the same size I was when I graduated high school.  My twenty-year high school reunion will be in two years and I’d really like to go and be smaller than I ever was in high school.  In order to accomplish that I’ll just need to be smaller than a 22/24.  I can definitely do that!

Just need to lose 1.4 lbs this week to hit 60.  Next goal: 75!



I did it. June 6, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — jmargulis @ 4:55 pm

I walked the 5K this morning and I survived.  It was so disgustingly hot and humid, but I trudged through.  I only made one brief stop and that was at the water stand at the halfway point.  I just drank my water, ate a couple pieces of apple, and got moving.  It took me about an hour and fifteen minutes and I walked that entire time.  I thought for sure that my legs would cramp up later, but so far so good.  When we got home we vegged out in front of the TV for a couple of hours and then spent some time in the pool.  It was a really great day and I know I will sleep like a baby tonight!

Now to go cross this one off my goal list…


Oops. June 5, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — jmargulis @ 9:21 am

Yeah, so my Memorial Day weekend experiment didn’t work out so well.  At first I was strong, but then I caved.  By the end of the weekend I had gone gone well over my weekly flex points and though I did okay the rest of the week, I went and ate Mexican food last night and drank a few margaritas.  Oh well, it was the first time since I started this journey that I fell off of the wagon, so I’m not going to beat myself up too bad about it.  Plus, I had a lot of fun.  The unfortunate side affect is that I gained a little over 3 lbs and dropped below the 10% milestone that I had reached.  However, I’m solidly back on track now and will get those pounds off in no time.  Plus I seem to be retaining water, so I should be able to get rid of that as well.  Looking forward, not looking back!

Tomorrow I’m walking a 5K.  I have not been keeping up with my walking like I had been, but I’m going to do it anyway.  I’ll probably feel like death afterward, but I’m going to push through it and make myself proud.  The thing with me and walking is that I get extremely bored, so I’m taking my iPod and hoping that keeps my brain entertained.  I’m hoping to finish the walk in about an hour, but I realize that it might take a bit longer.  Hey, even if it takes me two hours, at least I’ll be able to say I did it and I’ll be able to scratch one item off of my goal page!


Life is Crazy. May 22, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — jmargulis @ 12:12 pm

Well, it is.  It’s amazing how things can change in the blink of an eye.  I’m in a bit of a holding position right now in that I’m not sure what’s going to happen with my marriage.  I thought I was happily married one second and the next I’m blindsided by an apparently unhappy husband who wants out of the marriage.  Add to that the discovery that he’s been having an affair.  Crazy, crazy, crazy.  It’s hard to know where things stand right now.  Once second I feel one way and the next second I’m in a completely different place.  We went to a marriage counselor, but that just seemed to make things worse.  She didn’t seem to listen to us or address any of our specific problems and we both got so frustrated that we ended up taking it out on each other.  My husband told me he had cut of all communication with the other woman, but I found out that he spent time with her just this past weekend and that the communication had never stopped.  Once again he has promised that he has cut it off, but I just don’t believe him.  It’s odd not to believe him because this man never gave me any reason ever to doubt anything that he said.  It’s like I’m dealing with a total stranger.  We’re going back to another counselor on Monday and I’m really hoping for improvement.  I’m just not sure how much more of this I can take.

So how does that relate to this?  Well, the most surprising thing to me is that throughout this whole ordeal (the past month), I have stuck to my weight loss plan, have attended all of my meetings, and have not been terribly tempted to stray off of plan.  Perhaps it’s just that this is the only thing I feel like I can control in my life right now so I’m hanging on to it for dear life.  Either way, it has been my salvation.  When I’ve felt like my whole world was caving in on top of me, I could put on a pair of pants that didn’t fit a few weeks ago and feel just a little bit better.  It’s also given me back some of the confidence I had, which is so terribly important right now because I am continually doubting myself and my worth during this mess.  I’m spending more time on my appearance these days – straightening my hair, dressing in cute clothes, wearing make-up on the weekends.  I feel like if I at least project it on the outside, it will start to seep into the inside.  At least I hope so.

I’m thinking of visiting some friends over the Memorial Day weekend, but I’m feeling conflicted about it for a few reasons.  For one, these are the friends through which I met my husband and I don’t want to spend the entire weekend talking about what’s going on at home.  Secondly, I don’t want to risk going off of plan and that’s always a fear when out of my element.  I’d be staying in a hotel for the weekend and eating out for all of my meals – I’m just afraid of slipping back into old habits and doing some serious damage.  On the other hand, if I could make it through the weekend on plan, it would do wonders for my self-esteem and confidence.  I’m still debating it, but we’ll see how I feel as the week progresses…

Here’s hoping that my next post will come from a much better place!

Oh!  Updated to mention that I’m only 1.2 lbs away from reaching my 10% goal of losing 45 lbs.  I was hoping to hit it this week, but it didn’t happen.  I’ll work hard this week to make it happen!


One Bite at a Time April 2, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — jmargulis @ 10:49 am

So, I’m only about 7 weeks in, but I must say that I am truly amazed at how well this whole Weight Watchers thing has been going.  I’ve given in to temptation a few times here and there, but each time I have counted the points and made myself accountable for whatever it was I ate.  The best part is that not once, I repeat, NOT ONCE have I gone over my points allowance.  I may have plowed right through my daily allotment, but I always had my weekly flex points to catch me.  I am very proud of myself for that because it means that I have gone nearly 7 whole weeks without cheating even once.  Everything I have eaten has been within my plan.  Wow.  As many “diets” as I’ve been on in my life (and there have been MANY), I have never been able to say that.


So, that gets me to thinking… what has changed?  I think there are a few answers to that question:

  1. I’m finally in the right state of mind and am doing this for all the right reasons.  This has nothing to do with looking good for others, this is all about me and doing the right thing for myself.
  2. The Weight Watchers plan synchs up perfectly with how my wacky little brain works.  I’m an accountant –  I like to count things.  Numbers make sense to me.  Plus, I have the Weight Watchers application on my iPhone and so it feels like I’m playing a game.  I can’t explain it, but I absolutely love entering my points every time I eat something.  I usually enter them before I even eat so there are no surprises afterward.  Thing is, I usually enter in more than I end up meeting, so it’s fun when I go back in toadjust down and find that I can now enjoy a desert or a big glass of milk and ovaltine.  For me it’s the little psychological games I can play with myself.
  3. This is a pretty big one – I want to get pregnant.  My hormones are all kinds of messed up, but we’re in the process of fixing that.  In the meantime I’m working on getting my body ready to be a healthy vessel.  In addition to the standard pregnancy issues, I also want to set a good example for my child so that he or she learns to eat healthy from the very beginning.  I don’t want my child to struggle with food issues the way I have in my lifetime.


So those are my motivators, but they don’t change the fact that I’m challenged every single day to make good choices.  I’m in this mess because I’m addicted to food and as that hasn’t changed, I’ve had to find food that not only fits into my new lifestyle, but also satisfies my cravings and desires.  Because I love all of these items so, so very much, I wanted to give some of them a little shout-out.

  1. Jello Mousse Temptations – Oh my friend, I love your creamy deliciousness in both dark chocolate and milk chocolate.  I savor each and every taste of you and eat you very slowly so that the enjoyment lasts as long as possible.  Sometimes when I’m halfway through you I stir you up, which creates an extremely thick pudding that is also absolutely amazing.  I keep expecting to find out that you are really very fattening (just like the yogurt on Seinfeld), but I am trusting that the good folks at Jello would not steer me wrong.  Thank you for being you.
  2. Blue Diamond Almond Milk– You saved me from skim milk and I am forever grateful.  You are creamy and thick like regular milk, but don’t hog up all of my points.  I’m not sure how you do this, but I am thankful for the advances in technology that have allowed us to extract milk from almonds.  ‘Milk from an almond’ would seemingly be right up there with ‘blood from a turnip,’ but no, you have shown that it can be done.  The first time I tried you I was hesitant.  I poured you over my cereal with much trepidation, concerned that you would absolutely ruin my Special K Blueberry.  Oh, how wrong I was.  It was love at first bite.  That night when I tasted you mixed with my beloved Ovaltine I knew we were meant to be.  You’ll always have a place in the door of my fridge, my little nutty buddy.
  3. Boar’s Head Cajun Style Turkey Breast– You, my spicy little warrior, have single-handedly saved the sandwich.  When I saw the lady in front of me in line at the deli counter eating you right off the scale (in front of the other deli counter worker, no less), my initial thought was ‘THIEF!’  However, I then overheard you being discussed and I thought maybe I should give you a whirl.  The lady working the counter was kind enough to offer me a sample of you when I took my first bite I couldn’t help but react.  My taste buds awakened with a little fire and I was shocked to discover that lunch meat could actually have flavor!  I came home with my first 1/2 lb. of you and we’ve been together ever since.  


Yeah, I love food.  More to come, I’m sure. 


Good Week March 27, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — jmargulis @ 11:07 am

So I’m feeling pretty good today.  I went to my meeting this morning to find that I had lost 6.8 lbs this week, which brought me to a total loss of exactly 20 lbs.  Twenty pounds.  I don’t know why, but this feels big.  I mean, it is big, but it’s just nice to see that substantial number.  I was hoping to make it to 15 this week, so I was pleasantly surprised.  People at the meeting were asking me if I felt any different and I honestly can’t say as I do.  I mean I’m pretty pumped up about my results, but I haven’t noticed the physical changes yet.  I’ve been meaning to get some pictures taken that I can use for comparison, but I keep putting it off.  My husband’s a photographer, so you’d think it wouldn’t be such a big deal… ha.  As excited as I am about the success I’ve had thus far, I think I’ll be really thrilled when my pants start falling off or when I no longer have to use a seatbelt extender in my car.  I like crossing off my milestones and I’m hoping that next week will give me an opportunity to cross off the 5% milestone, which will be a loss of 23 lbs.  These are the little things that keep me going.  I am so thankful that I decided to try Weight Watchers.  This truly is a lifestyle change and I think it suits me just fine.  Six weeks down.  Can’t wait to see what happens in the next six!


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