Yesterday the new shoes and I attempted our first walk together. As if the wind, rain, and hail were not enough to stop us, the tendons in my right ankle were having a hard time. My old shoes had stretched out the tendons on our farewell trip. It is an old injury that has returned. Time to baby it. The new shoes and I shall bond in the weight room at the club hoiuse for a few days before we return to the asphalt.
It is all just a reminder that I have got to wear the right gear. Need good shoes if I am going to be pounding the pavement with my 240lbs.
TawandaPosted by tawanda on April 16th, 2013 under Uncategorized | Comment now »
Today is a sad day. They have supported me. Carried my weight. We have been around the block a few times. We have seen good times and bad. Rain and shine. Thick and thin. I knew that the time would come and yet nothing could have prepared me for this day. I knew that they were tired. Our walks were getting shorter. I was feeling their age. If I truely would have looked at them I would have seen the signs. They listed to the side when we walked. I was in denial. My dogs were feeling the pain. They have got to go. They got no sole.
The truth is, I hate shoe shopping. It is the most frustrating thing in my life. It has been since I was a child. My feet are very wide and my arch is very high. There is a shoe shop in town that specializes in problem feet. The people with the the regular wide foot problem go there. They sing the praises of the store. I have been encouraged to go there to experience the wonderous joy of shoe shopping. I went. I explained my feet. I shared my frustrations. They smiled at me. They nodded their heads. I could see their pride. I saw hope. I trusted them completely. I began to relax. One of them brought the measuring device. I stepped onto it. I stood tall with a smile on my face. I was ready. I then saw them looking at each other. Their smiles had changed. I could see the shock in their eyes. The one kneeling at my feet looked defeated, almost sad. The other jumped into action. There had to be something in the store that would work. Anything. Style and functionality were thrown to the wind. He came out from behind the curtain whith a shoe box. The smile was back on this face. The other looked skeptical. Almost afraid. I felt a glimmer of hope. Then the lid came off of the box. UGLY HARD CLUNKY THERAPUTIC I tried not to cry. I asked if that was all they had. They told me to come back and try again in six months. That is when they would rotate the stock. The new styles would come in. I know that they are waiting for me. I know that my feet are the challenge that keep them awake at night. I know that they are counting down the days to my return. They will have to wait a very long time. I will not be back.
My old faithful would have to hold up just a little bit longer. Could they make it? No, it was not to be. Friday I took my old shoes out for their last walk. We walked for an hour and a half. I knew that it was the last. When we got home I mowed our lawn in them. Then I mowed my mother in laws lawn. When we got home I took them off by the door. That is where they shall stay until I move them out to the can…
My husband took me out to dinner a little bit later. We then went shoe shopping. I got lucky. The first pair that I put on fit!!!! That never happens. I expressed my joy to the sales clerk. She did not understand how a pair of athletic shoes could bring that kind of joy. My husband bought them for me along with another pair. I did a happy dance all of the way to the car.
I am looking forward to our first walk together. I already feel a bond with them. I know that we will go the distance. I will continue to try to shed the pounds. I know that my weight is a lot to support. I will try to make it easier for them. I shall be dedicated to them and the journey that we are on. I have so much to show them. The asphalt road. The dirt walking trails. These shoes have a lot of sole.Posted by tawanda on April 14th, 2013 under Uncategorized | Comment now »
As I indicated last week in my post entitled Skip It, the weight loss journey had a few bumps in the road. This past week did not see any loss. I have gained the few pounds that I had lost plus 2. I am at 242. I had to spend some time thinking about this. I had to figure out how I truely felt. I thought that I should feel bad about this and beat myself up. I tried but I found that I had to put a lot of effort into drumming up that feeling. The feeling of bad. I don’t feel bad about it at all. So I am breaking that pattern of beating myself up.
I am rather proud of myself. Yes I strayed. But I did it in a far healthier manner that I would have in the past. I piled on the calories but I did it by eating healthy food. Not food high in sugar. Not processed food loaded whith chemicals and preservatives. I did it by eating whole healthy clean food. Now I am going to share something strangely amazing. I FEEL GREAT!!!!!!! I feel healthier, more awake, and little things don’t matter so much.
Another amazing thing. One night last week we had a family dinner and a processed meal was served. It made me sick. My stomach hurt for hours. I did not over eat. In fact I pushed the plate away because I did not like how the food tasted. A month ago I could have had seconds and I would have felt over stuffed but I would not have felt ill.
My mantra has been for quite sometime had been, “I listen to my body and I hear what it is telling me.” I now understand what that means. What will next week bring? Only time will tell.
Good luck to all of you. Stay healthy.
TawandaPosted by tawanda on April 9th, 2013 under Uncategorized | Comment now »
All of the wheels fell off of the healthy bus this week. All of them. At the same time. Ugly wreck. No exercise. No diet. Added unhealthy empty food to the healthy plan. Not just on Easter. The entire week. Did not feel guilt. Did not even get a cheap thrill out of it. It just was.
Here is my pattern. If I get on the scale on Wednesday, weekly weigh in day, and I see no weight loss I will have a couple of out of control days and make some worse choices than I did last week. If I get on the scale and see a gain it will trigger a major binge complete with cake, icecream, an entire bag of Cheetos (cheatos)….. and the vegetables will turn to slime in the frig. This could last for a couple of weeks. I could gain 5 lbs.
I had hoped that having a blog here at TFC would add to the accountabilty factor. I had hoped that I would be able to avoid weeks like the one that I just had. Not yet. In time. So I am skipping the weigh in this week. I do not need to see those numbers. The wheels are being put back on the Health Bus right now and I am going to chug right on down the road and skip the binge.
TAWANDA!Posted by tawanda on April 2nd, 2013 under Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
Grandchildren had stomach flu = Grandma has stomach flu.
The week started with me eating out of control. I was going to see a gain on the scale and then…. Let me just share that I lost 2lbs. If I would have had the choice, I would have taken the gain. Enough said about that.
The weather has been beautiful. The yard has been calling me. The hiking trail has been calling me. The dog has been calling me. Soon I shall answer their call. Now I am going back to bed.
Stay well everyone.
TawandaPosted by tawanda on March 27th, 2013 under Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
March 18, 2013
Just completed my first week. The scale puts me at 239. One pound less than a week ago. I will take that pound and love it. My body did not change much but my mind has. I spent a lot of time thinking about what I want and why I want it. I thought about what I have now and what I have to look forward to.
With the few changes that I made I can already see some changes in how I interact with others. We had my husband’s mother and sister over for dinner on Saturday. If history had repeated itself I would have been on edge but I enjoyed myself. We have spent time with my husband’s daughter and grandchildren and it has felt good.
It has been a great week!
Carbs are the reason why I only lost a pound. I ate more carbs this week than I eat in a ….? Though they were all whole grain, except for the rice.
Looking forward to this week. Can not wait to see what happens.
Good luck to you all. We can do this.
TAWANDAPosted by tawanda on March 18th, 2013 under Uncategorized | Comment now »
March 14, 2013
My big feel good workout on the 12th left me whimpering on the 13th. Oh yeah baby. As a result I took it easy. Did take the dog on a short walk. The day was so beautiful. Then I gave my arms a workout doing some sanding. My husband and I are building a gypsy wagon. That was it for exercise.
No shall I discuss food? I would rather not. Oh well. My carb intake was off of the scale. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and oh snack as well. Ummmmmmmm, BACON!!!!!!!! yep.
Now I am sitting here looking at the step platform. Hmmmmm.
TAWANDAPosted by tawanda on March 14th, 2013 under Uncategorized | Comment now »
March 12, 2013
Last night, while the Biggest Loser was on, our television experienced a static freak out. No kidding. Freak out. It was like something out of Poltergiest. Last episode until the big one. Do not despair. The Biggest Loser airs on the internet the next day. So this morning I drug out my step platform, dusted it off and sweated along with Danni, Jackson, Jeff, Gina, and Joe. Had more fun watching the program while getting in some good cardio than I did eating buttered popcorn and chocolate. Sweat is Sweet.
How about that Danni? She has provided me with so much inspiration. Ok - not enough to have prevented me from eating the above mentioned popcorn and chocolate while I watched her and the others sweat, grunt, and melt away the pounds. But the kind of inspiration that I can pull out of my inspiration library when I need it. She said, and this is a rough quote, “If I can do this, anyone can do this.” I know that she is right. I can do this.
Today I had a great workout and made natural healthy food choices. I feel great. Off to a great start.Posted by tawanda on March 12th, 2013 under Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
“I am not a glutten - I am an explorer of food.” - Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck was a hillarious woman. Most of her comic material was based on life. Her life. I am in no way a comic so I shall leave that up to those who are. This Is Me! is about my life. However, I am right there with Erma when it comes to exploring food, and as long as I am being honest here, I am a glutten.
I have been heavy my entire life. When I was 12, I was 5′2″ and weighed 145lbs. Now I am 47, 5′4″ and weigh 240lbs. At 220lbs I was active. I could go all day, do just about anything and feel great doing it. My bood pressure was good, my cholesterol was good, I slept good. Life was good. Then two years ago life became great. I got married to my soul mate. Bob. We are so happy. With that happiness came the 20lb weight gain. My husband has jokingly said, “Baby, I am sorry that we are soooo happy.”
That brings me to my first goal. I want to lose the “happy” weight but retain the Happy. At 240lbs I find it hard to breath at times. I can no longer keep up with everyone. My cholesterol is high. Blood pressure is high. I don’t sleep well at night. My back hurts, my immune system has taken a beating…….My body is a mess. Twenty pounds are comming off.
Recently we have revamped our kitchen. GMO food is out. Processed food is out. Natural whole foods are in. My husband supports these changes. My stepson does not care what we eat as long as we eat.
The kitchen is ready. My family is ready. The dog, Jenny, is ready. Most importantly, I am ready.
TAWANDAPosted by tawanda on March 11th, 2013 under Uncategorized | 4 Comments »