Update

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Err, it’s been a while since I updated. But I have GOOD NEWS!! Lots of it!

First, weight-wise, I am now 167. Yay! I believe I am safely in the 160’s, and will probably bounce between 167-168 for a week or two before dropping again. That seems to be the new MOL (method of loss).

Here’s my ticker! It hasn’t been around for a while. . .



10lb since Jan 9. Not bad I guess, considering I haven’t tried too hard lately.

Job, wise. . . I HAVE A NEW JOB! YAY! Good jump in salary, and it is locate din Billerica, which means commuting by car, opposite most of the Boston traffic. It takes 30 min (or slightly less) to get there DURING RUSH HOUR, which is better than the T, which takes 40 minutes minimum, up to an hour ish if the t sucks, or I walk part of it. I have to hit the bus, the orange line, and the shuttle JUST RIGHT to get 40 minutes now.

The biggest drawback I see is not walking during my commute anymore. But, if I am driving to work, I can possibly get to the gym BEFORE work now, to treadmill or swim. And if I am spending the night at Steven’s, I can just bring the car. . .

So, what the hell have I been eating? That’s the weird part. I’ve been eating like CRAZY! Not overboard or anything, but the amount of food I eat I feel like I should be maintaining, not losing, considering I don’t exercise as much as I should/would like.

I’m still doing the peanut butter thing, a bit. I wiped out my skippy, and now I’m working my way through the trader joe’s almond butter I originally wasn’t going to eat, because when I mix in honey, it tastes pretty good >8O so yeah. But it is almost gone.

My current lunch phase is pasta with ground beef, TVP (1 cup/lb of beef), and pasta sauce. 1lb beef, 1 jar sauce, 1 cup tvp and 1/2 box pasta, makes lunch for a week. Yay! I made it with ground chicken this time (it was cheap, and is naturally lower in fat than beef), but I don’t like it so much. So, I will stick with my friend beef in the future, leave the chicken for other stuff.

I’ve been eating a lot of pasta lately, which is weird. I usually am not so filled by it and like it as a special thing at restaurants. Eh.

I also have been eating a lot of canned soup. I’m Lazy! What can I say! I buy it on sale so it isn’t TOO horribly expensive, and I eat it with a bowl of baby spinach and some strawberries (lately) and string cheese. It’s not really part of the meal but I eat my almond butter/honey thing too, that will stop soon when I run out. I have decided not to buy more peanut butter for like, a month or something. I cry at the supermarket now. Inside. A Little.

In general I’ve just been eating more. Steve thinks I’m over estimating what I’m eating. I don’t know. I’d say at least 2k cal a day. Which is fine for NOT losing weight. But for losing I should try to cut it a little. It seems like I’ve “reset” myself a little or something, though, to be able to eat like I have and either stay the same or lose, so I’m having internal conflict about wanting to lose, and wanting to eat what I want because I don’t gain.

EXERCISE!!

Er, I exercise, like, 2x a week? Every OTHER week? Either TOM or something else comes up and I end up not exercising that week. Lately it has been job interview related and not JUST pure laziness. On Monday I go and use the treadmill for 45 min and then swim ~50 lengths/25 laps. It is exhausting. I sort of sabotaged myself this week by eating a nice big bowl of pasta when I got home ;) but apparently it didn’t matter cause I lost 2 lbs this week haha. Tuesday I have Taiko, which is totally an arm workout, and then I go swim a bit after, ~30 min. I don’t have enough time to do all the laps, if I drop of my friends at the T first, but I’m also so TIRED already, its enough. I pushed myself on the treadmill Monday too. I started at 7.5% incline, but accidentally pushed it to 8 during the workout and left it thee. I also walked about half at 3.6 mph, with several min at 3.7. I think I’d like to get up to 4mph and 10% incline as a goal. I will never be a runner though.

I DID start walking again during my commute. I think that may have been important. I don’t remember how much I walked Mon, but I walked 3 miles tues and wed, 1 mile thurs and fri. So at least 8 miles, maybe 9 or 10, So its good.

Holding steady at 170

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Holding steady at 170. Which is remarkeable, considering I ate a jar of hazelnut butter, a jar of sunflowerseed butter, half a jar of chocolate-hazelnut butter, and a bunch of pumpkin butter, cake at work, a bunch of tiramizu, a sunday at friendly’s, etc. . .

Yes, I admit it.

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I eat peanut butter off the spoon, directly from the jar.

Tuesday Food (ish)

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Err, some calories are estimates, cause I don’t measure everything. I have no particular calorie goal right now. We’ll see how this week goes, and if I want to start one or hold off another week or whatever.

I feld queasy during Taiko, thought either I was dehydrated or something hadn’t agreed with me. I hadn’t drank terribly much water with dinner, either. Felt better later.  Got home, checked the s odium on the canned soup . . . 900mg per serving! 2/can, so 1800mg sodium. Well, that may  partially explain it. Also, thi smeans I will probably see some fluctuations on the scale from it. Not as bad as water retention soup, but still. . .

I love almond butter. Well, the honey almond but ter I got that  also has some sodium, which I think is important for flavor. Too bad it is sooooo expensive. But, I guess  Trader Joe’s has one that isn’t too pricey. Also, got more of the natural skippy I like. Don’t ever by the smart balance peanut butter. It is DISGUSTING.

Breakfast

1 serving shredded wheat  170
1 cup soy milk 100
1/2 orange, ~100gm, 50
1 serving part skim cottage cheese 90

Meal total 410

Lunch

1 sweet potato 150gm  150
2 servings brocolli  50
~1oz chicken (Cooked) 50
1 serving natural applesauce 50
1 cup cream of broccoli soup from cafeteria  ??? 200 cal  (approx from daily plate stuff)
1 clementine  50

Meal Total 550

Dinner

1 can chunky chicken noodle soup  220
also, excessive sodium, as I checked later
Roast beef - er, 3 oz? ~1/3 of the 1/2 pound? I didn’t weigh it  200
random amount of salsa  60
Random amount of peanut butter, maybe 3 tbsp??   300

Meal Total  780

After Taiko/Swimming snack

1 colby jack cheese stick  110
Er, 3-4 tbsp almond butter??   400

Meal Total 510

Day Total  2250

So Called “Set Point”. I don’t buy it, but its tempting.

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I’m huuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnngggggggrrrrrryyyyyyy

yyyyyyyyyyyyyy

All the time.

ALL THE TIME

But then, I get full. It is my nature to force myself to finish, helps explain the fatness, but if it don’t taste good i wont fnish it when I’m full. I bought soup at lunch, i wanted something dif, and I didn’t finish my actual lunch, the chicken wasn’t happt today. I traded chicken for cream of brocolli, lol.

I’m gonna go home and eat one of the cans of soup I bought yesterday, and probably eat some peanutbutter, cause I”m addicted to peanut butter. And maybe some other stuff. I dunno. I’ll continue to be a glutton until either I stop losing weight, or, horrors, GAIN some.

If there is such a thing as a “set point” I may have passed one. Of course, it was a “set range” not a point. The whole 190-175 range SUCKED. 190 is where I started in HS the first time I ever lost weight. I don’t know how long I was there during HS before starting. Maybe it is a special weight. Or maybe it just sucked cause of winter. But I started eating a lot more in Jan and by the middle planned on taking a break. And I actually looked like I was about to lose, even with limited exercise and more food.

And being sick seems to have pushed me past a block. There is no way to lose 3 lbs from throwing up once and eating lightly for a day. It’s just not possible. I went from ~174 to 170 when sick, back to ~173 after starting to eat regularly again, and dropped again to 170 within a week. All while eating rather excessive amounts of cake and piss-poor (i.e. none) calorie counting. I guess my body is ready for the “next stage”.

Clothing Sizes

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So I am more or less a size 14, or 16, depending on the particular hunk of cloth in hand.

In Old Navy I tried on the SAME PAIR OF PANTS in different colores, and one was tood big, the other too small. Sheesh. And it ain’t easy to find 14 short. It aint easy to find short ANYTHING. I tried on another pair that fit good, but still made sure to try on the same pair in a dif color instead of just grapping them.

Cheap clothes, cheaping manufacturing. But those pants that were so different? 30 bucks a pair! I know that’s not “expensive”, in the grand scheme of things, but it ain’t cheap, either. And I’d like a little consistency.

Oh, and then there was the 14 short that wasn’t short. It was labeled short, but it just. . . wasn’t. There other pair, in the same size, style and color, WAS short. Hmm.

Diet?? Er. .. Right. . .

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The upshot of this post, as regards WEIGHTLOSS is that I can EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT AND STILL LOSE WEIGHT. Or, something. Cause, I ate everything in sight and lost weight. I did get sick, but that doesn’t account for the entire loss. And considering the sheer amount of food, being sick should only have stalled a gain, I think.

Before my Birthday it looked like 173 was imminent. But then, my Birthday happened! And I ate like, forever and ever. . . .  And stuff happened and i ate like, almost a wuarter of my b-day cake in one night! It was like, sympathizing by proxy. . .

All the week before my b-day there was cake. There ere 3 b-days in the 2 wks before my b-day at work, so cake!! And I was still on the whol, not losing but maintaining thing.

Saturday was Birka. I forgot my bodice from Thorny Rose to get taken in :( Oh Well. And we ate out at a chinese restaurant, yummy!. And then on

Sunday. we went to Olive Garden for my birthday, with my parents, brother and Steve. We got the melty mozzerella and stuffed mushrooms for appetizers, and I got the stuffed chicken marsala and ATE THE WHOLE THING! Yummy. And then Mom, mike, and Steve went back to my parents house to watch superbowl pregame stuff and my dad came with me while I picked up Steve’s gift and got it engraved. The store got rounced so I had a 90 min wait so I shopped a bit. I got my last ever item at Layne Bryant, size 14-16 (they go no lower) and my dad got it for me as a gift, aww! And I got a few other shirts of various small sizes and prices for future clothing, maybe by the summer, even. Then we got home and ate birthday cake. I always get rum cake, i looovve it! I ate a big piece. And then later, during the superbowl (during which I played sudoku) another small piece. I watched the last few minutes of the game, so I know who one.

Monday at work we had cake for my birthday. Monday night instead of exercising I ended up eating tons of cake in sympathy.

And then Tuesday I got sick. I expelled the entire contents of my digestive tract in one way or the other. And I usually don’t throw up, so that was a bit of a shock, especially since I was AT THE DOCTORS OFFICE.

Segue. . .

I went for my annual physical. I woke up feeling queasy, and figured it was the RATHER LARGE AMOUNT OF FOOD I had comsumed the past few days. I went to the appointment, which was with the nurse instead of my pcp (booked till june) who was very nice. I told her that I thought I might get low bloodpressure sometimes when standing too fast, because that lightheadedness you get from getting up too fast has occured sufficiently often that I actually notice it. The only time it was BAD was at Yom Kippur, what with no eating or drinking, and I almost blacked out. So, she had me lie down a few minutes  and got my bp, then stand up and do it again. I dropped from like 110/60 to 80-something over I forget. This apparantly is more than usual I think, because I got really faint, though not so bad as the other time and had to sit. I thought maybe I was just a bit dehydrated, and feeling kinda gross already, queasy. After I few minutes I felt “better”. I went to check out, and felt really bad. I went back to lie down in the exam room, and then had to spring to the bathroom where I expelled the entire contents of my stomach.

Well, I felt way better after throwing up, just a bit shaky. I drove home, bought gass, decided not to go to work and to drink lots of water. Well, I succeeded in not going to work, but fell asleep in stead of the water. I spent the entire day sleeping, or talking/typing to Steve while he worked on his resume. I drank some water but just couldn’t get enough. By the evening I couldn’t even sit up it was so horrible. I tried to eat a couple times and got about a handful of granola down thats it. I talked to my dad on the phone, and tried to eat some shredded wheat, applesauce, and chicken broth ( I lack gatorade, and apparantly have sodim free shredded wheat. I own ZERO SICK FOOD). Then my dad called back and said he’d come pick me up, buy me gatorade and make me cream of wheat.

I went home, drank gatorade, and ate cream of wheat with copious amounts of maple syrup. I felt much better wed morning, but still icky and had a headache. I had already decided not to go to work. I also recheduled my phone interview for a new job for thursday, which worked out very well.  I weighed myself, my empty, dehydrated self on my mom’s underweighing scale, and it said 168, haha! That is about 170 on my own scale. So then I decided to keep track how much food weighs afte I start eating again, as that was pretty much a minimum. Dad took me home at about 11AM. He then helped me shovel the driveway (including behind my roommate’s car, which I wish he hadn’t) AND the front walk and stpes, which I found out a few days later hadn’t been shoveled the LAST time it snowed. Which pisses me off becuase I’ve shoveled it almost everytime this winter, and my roommates don’t even leave the house during the day most of the time. Then I lay around all day waiting for Steve to keep me company cause I was bored. I played FF8 for a while and some Valkyrie Profile (whichi kinda sucks) and finally Steve came over. I lay around like a slug of course, but it was better with him there, and he fell asleeep at my place.

Thurs I had my phone interview with the company and it was good. I also weighed like, 171-172 I think.

Friday it was like, 172.6 . So that seems to be like, my new max I think, maybe 173.

And then the weekend happened! This oh, so confusing weekend!

Friday night was dinner at Steve’s, for his birthday. His mom made lasagna, and sour cream cherry nit cake. This is Steve’s parents’ anniversary cake, and his favorite cake, and he wants it for wedding cake. I finally got to try it, and it is good. I won’t argue if he wants it for wedding cake.

Saturday we went back to my house. I hadn’t eaten yet and I thought so I weighed myself, thought it would still be 172-173, but it was 171!!!!!!! Then I ate Birthday Cake for breakfast! Ive gotta finish off that cake, ya know. And then I ate some shredded wheat and cottage cheese, just to get some nutrients in me, haha. Then we went shopping cause I NEED PANTS DAMN IT. I bought 2 nice pairs, for interview/work if needed, and 3 pair from old navy, 2 that fit now and one that will fit soon, only a bit tight, they are all so CHEAP. And I guess that I will probably be buying pants at old navy in the future, and they make cuts that fit me reasonably well. And they have SHORT pants. The nice pants I got at kohls, in the petite section. I FINALLY can shop in the petite section. Damn my shortness! Then we went to the mall so i could get crappy shinese food for dinner and brought it to my house. I got a three combo that came with fried rice so steve could have a bit of food too, but i ate most of it myself. And a perogi and some potato salad, and 2 clementines (healthy!!!!). Then I made the tiramizu for Steve’s b-day and ate a bit of the cream, and then we had an extra cup of heavy cream so I made it into whipped cream and we ate it with the extra lady fingers (OMGOMG).

And now it is this morning. I figured, after yesterday’s food volume, who knows! But, I weighed 170.0 YAYAY Of course, this was after peeing a couple times and a good bm (sorry tmi, too bad) but still, yesterday’s food is still in there somewhere. I am SO CLOSE to the 160’s! Yay! Maybe by next week, I will have done it! OOooOoooOOOOoo

Resume my Diet? Maybe next week?

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Well, I had the birthday bender. And I was going t resetart t his week, but I still have like, HALF OF MY RUM CAKE left, and I wants to eats it!!!!
And I bet I’ve gained like 3 pounds this weekend, haha. Well, after eating the rest of the cake. MMmmm cake. I probably shouldn’t eat it for dinner before going to the gym, I might pass out.

I mean, I was still 174.x before yesterday, and stuff, but after eating like 2x the amt i should i bet its gone. And to think, friday after work it was 173.2!!!! Which means if I hadn’t gone to a party friday night, I might have seen a 172.x sat morning! Sigh. Maybe 2-3 wks from now it will make an appearance.