I haven’t been writing. I’ve been keeping really busy. I worked A LOT this week. Overtime. This weekend, I babysat my cousin’s 2 year old little boy. My cousin is 9 months pregnant, and she’s in the process of moving. I thought it would be a nice break for her. I can assure you that I have A LOT of experience with kids. I have been babysitting my whole life. Was a nanny for years. Studied pediatric nursing. Worked at camps. Etc. I figured 2 days with Alex would be a piece of cake. Easy. Fun. Boy was I wrong! I did have fun, but it was not easy. I’ve never dealt with a kid that just is a magnet for danger. My place is not childproof, so I made sure I was with him at all times. I guess being 2 feet away from him is not enough. If I just looked away for 30 seconds, he was getting in trouble. He put refridgerator magnets in the toaster oven and turned it on. (Caught him instantly, Thank God!!) Found the aquarium chemicals in the cabinet under the fish tank. (I got them out of his hands fast!) We somehow lost his fork during dinner. I found it later in the cat’s food bowl. But that’s ok that he might have tasted the cat food, cuz I later found him shoving his breakfast cereal into the cats mouth. I could go on and on and on. He kept me on my toes more than any child I have watched before. But at least he is polite and says his pleases and thank yous. He wasn’t being bad … just an active, curious 2 year old!!!

I ordered pizza with my friend last night. I ate more in one sitting than I have in a VERY long time. It’s disgusting to say, but I ate half of a large veggie pizza. An entire half! And I washed in down with a few vodka drinks.

Today, I went to a party to meet my friend’s new baby. (She’s visiting from out of town.) I have been snacking all day. Food has not been good this weekend at all, but I don’t feel like I am in a downward spiral. I think I just got off my schedule and that makes me eat more. Whatever … I’m in maintenence mode right now. I have to be okay with occasional splurges … as long as they don’t get out of control.

Here’s the best part about today. Because there were kids involved that needed supervision, my friends and I all ended up in the pool. I don’t know how it happened, but out of the 5 of us there today, I was the thinnest. That has never ever been true in that group. You know how most people flutuate their weight a little. It seems that while I am at a low, most of them have gone a little bit up. I know that I shouldn’t be comparing myself to them like this, but it felt good. It REALLY felt good. I have never felt good about my body in this group of friends, but now I can see that my hard work has paid off. The compliments that I seem to hear everyday lately are nice too. I could get used to this.

Who knew that reaching your goal weight was this rewarding??? Maybe if I knew how good it felt, I would have tried harder a long time ago.

You girls can all get there. I know you can. It feels great! I hope I can stay here. I hope I can make it last. I never want to be overweight again.