Committed

8/4/07 - So I started out pretty good.  I knew I would have a large meal for dinner, so I tried to eat light.  I walked in the morning for 30 minutes.  Lunch at Panera was awesome, but it was still probably too much food considering the huge meal I was planning for dinner….

TJs plain oatmeal
2 double shot espressos
Panera strawberry salad & tuna sandwich with a whole wheat baguette
Nonfat iced latte

So here is where things got a little crazy…
2 cosmopolitans
5-course Moroccan dinner, including harira, Moraccan salad, bread, bastila, chicken, vegetables, couscous, bahklava, and mint tea.

It was really good, but it was the last indulgence I’ll have for a while.  Today was much better, but I still ate a little heavy. 

Soy Latte
Espresso shot
Organic Flakes cereal with soy milk
NF iced latte
Buckhorn Cabo Chop salad with no blue cheese, and a vinaigrette on the side
Thai chicken with basmati rice (home made)
cherries

I walked for 2.5 hours today, and then ran errands and cleaned house.  Needless to say, I’m exhausted. 

I’ve thought a lot about the mistakes I made while on vacation.  One of the problems was eating according to my husband’s preferences (usually burgers and fries).  We’ve argued about restaurant selections many, many times in the past, and I did not want to relive this conflict on vacation, so I just gave in and ate whereever he wanted.  Unfortunately this compromise was not a healthy one. 

I’m also still wrestling with getting back into the swing of things.  Its 9pm, and its all I can do to keep from going into the kitching and eating the strawberries I picked up in bulk this morning.  We had many late night snacks and meals while on vacation.  I don’t think the caloric impact was anything to fret about, but getting back into my routine is tough.  I forgot how hard it was to break myself of the habit of late night eating / binging.  I had barely gotten some momentum by the time we went on vacation, so now I feel like I am starting fresh. 

To end this torture of resisting the strawberries, I am going to go to bed early.  Good nite!!

I was so sure that I would keep up my “lifestyle” changes while on vacation in BC.  I’m not really sure where I went wrong, but the phrase “failing to plan means planning to fail” repeatedly echoed in my mind all week.  Its pretty much a blur of gelato, pasta, and french fries. 

Even though I netted a slight loss for the week (probably from all the walking), I’m still disappointed in myself - not because I splurged but because it was not planned or deliberate in any way.  I’ve been so good about insulating myself from binges, but I was not prepared for how complicated my vacation would be. 

If there is one thing I learned from the last week, its that falling off the wagon is suprisingly easy, familiar and comfortable.  Since returning Thursday night, I’ve been struggling to get back into a safe routine.  Tonight I’m going out to a 7-course meal for a friend’s birthday celebration.  I’m already getting anxious.  

Yesterday I made my best effort to get back on track, but as you can see I seem to have fallen back into the pattern of late night snacking (binging?).  Tonight’s dinner is late, so that is not going to make me feel any better about this.  I can do my best to keep tonight’s damage to a minimum, but going forward I’m definitely going to make a concerted effort to make some measurable improvement in this area (starting tomorrow of course). 

Food Journal 8/3/07
Organics Flakes cereal with soy milk
2 soy lattes
1 nf latte in the afternoon
shrimp salad with italian dressing and cottage cheese
Strawberries
Whole Wheat tortilla with mozarella cheese
Chipolte Chicken salad w/ black beans, salsa, chicken, sour cream & dressing
Bowl of brown rice with Shitake mushroom vinaigrette